aaa
oh god this journal is so neglected
but i should at least give everyone a report on how my life has been going lately =A=)/
Anyway, just when I was starting to feel a little bit content with my life, I lose my job. :D :D
My boss had all 4 people in our tiny company get together for a meeting, which excited me because I thought it would be good news about the company finally showing signs of success. It was the opposite, though: it was a meeting to say that the little startup had basically run out of money and that no one could come to work any more because there was no money to pay anyone. The economy sucks balls so it's too hard to find small business investments.
So even though I was kind of expecting it, I've been pretty bummed all week. I really have no wants or desires other than to pay off my debts so I can move out on my own. /)_(\ My boss even told me to call him the following day so I could see if the situation was any different, but I've been calling him for three days in a row and leaving messages and have gotten no answer whatsoever. I feel like I've just been brushed off so I'm even more upset;; But he was the type who never did what he was supposed to do, ignored important tasks and deadlines, and was terrible at contacting anyone at any time, so the fact that he doesn't return my phone calls is just as unsurprising as the fact his business failed. orz
To add to my troubles, I still have to hear my family fighting every goddamn day. My relatives, who stole the money my grandfather wanted to give me, are now trying to keep the money my grandMOTHER left for me, too. Every time I request my inheritance I get comments that make me shake with rage. =A= Things like "WELL SHE SHOULD PAY HER OWN TUITION AND TAKE CARE OF HERSELF :U " (fuck you, my grandpa/your father paid your tuition when you were in school, so when he wants to do the same for me you steal it just because he's not around any more to stop you?) or "WHY CAN'T SHE TAKE CARE OF HERSELF MORE WHY SHOULD SHE NEED MONEY THAT BADLY :U " (as if I'm not trying; I just graduated into a nightmare economy). Some of them even have the nerve to suggest that asking for money that was promised to me makes me selfish.
Then there's the matter of Thanksgiving week. R is coming to visit me here for the first time, which is awesome. What isn't awesome is that we only have three bedrooms. If my mom, my aunt (who I will call disabledaunt for clarity), me, R, and my brother (who graduates in a month) are all here for the holidays, we just won't fit in this little house. So my mom asked my other aunt (who I will call selfishaunt for clarity) to take disabledaunt in for Thanksgiving week. Selfishaunt lives in a huge mostly-empty house that my mom helped her buy, where she only has one child and three empty bedrooms. Selfishaunt refuses to let disabledaunt stay with her, despite the fact that she is disabledaunt's legal guardian, as set in the will. She keeps making stupid excuses like "but my family!" "our privacy!" "she might flirt with my husband!" (disabledaunt has the mental strength of a preschooler and has a terrifying appearance and she's worried about flirting?? wat). She even went so far as suggesting we pile people onto the couches. Apparently privacy and comfort is only important when it's hers.
Disabledaunt has been living here for months. We give her food and free housing even though she drives us nucking futs (she still spends all day eating everything in sight and watching preschool TV in between exciting rounds of pacing, talking to herself, and breathing really loudly through her mouth). My mom can't even sleep at night because the TV is always on right outside of her bedroom door blasting preschool learning songs all night (I don't even know why a channel for preschoolers even has programming that late;;). I have to listen to this every time I leave my bedroom. :|
But even though selfishaunt has a house 4 time the size of ours, she wants us to literally live on top of each other instead of take responsibility for housing disabledaunt. She also wants to charge her rent and squeeze every dime out of her own family that she can. =A=
kjdsgs this entry is quickly becoming nonsensical rambling but this week has been so upsetting that's all I can do. We are taking disabledaunt to selfishaunt's house tomorrow in hopes that she can stay there permanently or put into her own apartment soon (where she should've been in the first place;; my mom can barely provide for her own children, so why add a disabled sister to her plate when the rest of her siblings have so much more living space?).
On the bright side:
* R is coming into town for a whole week
* Being unemployed means more time to spend with him I guess ;_;
* Thanksgiving is gonna be delicious
* My house will finally be quiet and relatively-cozy again
* I have a basket of interesting contacts to continue my hunt for a real job with and a bucket of optimism to go with it X( SANTA ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS EMPLOYMENT
* why are these bullet points
=A=) i miss days when my problems were nothing but "too much homework"
but i should at least give everyone a report on how my life has been going lately =A=)/
Anyway, just when I was starting to feel a little bit content with my life, I lose my job. :D :D
My boss had all 4 people in our tiny company get together for a meeting, which excited me because I thought it would be good news about the company finally showing signs of success. It was the opposite, though: it was a meeting to say that the little startup had basically run out of money and that no one could come to work any more because there was no money to pay anyone. The economy sucks balls so it's too hard to find small business investments.
So even though I was kind of expecting it, I've been pretty bummed all week. I really have no wants or desires other than to pay off my debts so I can move out on my own. /)_(\ My boss even told me to call him the following day so I could see if the situation was any different, but I've been calling him for three days in a row and leaving messages and have gotten no answer whatsoever. I feel like I've just been brushed off so I'm even more upset;; But he was the type who never did what he was supposed to do, ignored important tasks and deadlines, and was terrible at contacting anyone at any time, so the fact that he doesn't return my phone calls is just as unsurprising as the fact his business failed. orz
To add to my troubles, I still have to hear my family fighting every goddamn day. My relatives, who stole the money my grandfather wanted to give me, are now trying to keep the money my grandMOTHER left for me, too. Every time I request my inheritance I get comments that make me shake with rage. =A= Things like "WELL SHE SHOULD PAY HER OWN TUITION AND TAKE CARE OF HERSELF :U " (fuck you, my grandpa/your father paid your tuition when you were in school, so when he wants to do the same for me you steal it just because he's not around any more to stop you?) or "WHY CAN'T SHE TAKE CARE OF HERSELF MORE WHY SHOULD SHE NEED MONEY THAT BADLY :U " (as if I'm not trying; I just graduated into a nightmare economy). Some of them even have the nerve to suggest that asking for money that was promised to me makes me selfish.
Then there's the matter of Thanksgiving week. R is coming to visit me here for the first time, which is awesome. What isn't awesome is that we only have three bedrooms. If my mom, my aunt (who I will call disabledaunt for clarity), me, R, and my brother (who graduates in a month) are all here for the holidays, we just won't fit in this little house. So my mom asked my other aunt (who I will call selfishaunt for clarity) to take disabledaunt in for Thanksgiving week. Selfishaunt lives in a huge mostly-empty house that my mom helped her buy, where she only has one child and three empty bedrooms. Selfishaunt refuses to let disabledaunt stay with her, despite the fact that she is disabledaunt's legal guardian, as set in the will. She keeps making stupid excuses like "but my family!" "our privacy!" "she might flirt with my husband!" (disabledaunt has the mental strength of a preschooler and has a terrifying appearance and she's worried about flirting?? wat). She even went so far as suggesting we pile people onto the couches. Apparently privacy and comfort is only important when it's hers.
Disabledaunt has been living here for months. We give her food and free housing even though she drives us nucking futs (she still spends all day eating everything in sight and watching preschool TV in between exciting rounds of pacing, talking to herself, and breathing really loudly through her mouth). My mom can't even sleep at night because the TV is always on right outside of her bedroom door blasting preschool learning songs all night (I don't even know why a channel for preschoolers even has programming that late;;). I have to listen to this every time I leave my bedroom. :|
But even though selfishaunt has a house 4 time the size of ours, she wants us to literally live on top of each other instead of take responsibility for housing disabledaunt. She also wants to charge her rent and squeeze every dime out of her own family that she can. =A=
kjdsgs this entry is quickly becoming nonsensical rambling but this week has been so upsetting that's all I can do. We are taking disabledaunt to selfishaunt's house tomorrow in hopes that she can stay there permanently or put into her own apartment soon (where she should've been in the first place;; my mom can barely provide for her own children, so why add a disabled sister to her plate when the rest of her siblings have so much more living space?).
On the bright side:
* R is coming into town for a whole week
* Being unemployed means more time to spend with him I guess ;_;
* Thanksgiving is gonna be delicious
* My house will finally be quiet and relatively-cozy again
* I have a basket of interesting contacts to continue my hunt for a real job with and a bucket of optimism to go with it X( SANTA ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS EMPLOYMENT
* why are these bullet points
=A=) i miss days when my problems were nothing but "too much homework"