So this is my fourth post today?
I have to say, I quite enjoy this site.
I've gotten absolutely nothing done since I've gotten home but put a heading on top of a word document for a Document Based Question essay I'm supposed to be doing.
I've got to get that done, and probably able five or six thematic essays.
Do I plan on doing them all tonight? Yes.
Do I plan on sleeping? Probably not.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Maybe. It all depends on how much I sleep.
Do I still need a shower on top of all this? Desperately. Makeup kills me when I sleep.
Although, I am in a slightly better mood now. I talked to Gamble for a bit (a very, very, short bit) about my prediciment with Courtney, and I feel slightly better about it.
"yeah well, at least your making the effort, thats all that counts"
I agree, sort of.. while I know I'm making the effort, and this time it's towards the right thing, I still feel kind of bad. But I don't even know why...
I keep flip-flopping back and forth between how I feel. And right, I feel like I'm in the right. About everything. Beings as I've been trying lately to be better and the fact that what Gamble and I did.. that was my decision. Mine. I love him and he loves me. I understand that they used to love eachother and they used to be intimate... but this isn't about her. This is about me and the fact that I need to do what it takes to make my last months here tolerable. He's my boyfriend. He makes me happy. And that's really all I need...
"He wasn't fair game," she said to me a couple of days ago. Right now, I feel like she has no right to say that. I understand that she was my friend and I understand that she used to love him but that does not give her the right to tell me who I can and cannot love. I can't help the fact that I love him, but I do, and it's not something I'm willing to change just for the sake of one person. I'm happy with him. I love him. He's mine. And nothing anybody says or does is going to change that.
I feel so much better right now. I think I'll go take the pictures he asked for...
I've gotten absolutely nothing done since I've gotten home but put a heading on top of a word document for a Document Based Question essay I'm supposed to be doing.
I've got to get that done, and probably able five or six thematic essays.
Do I plan on doing them all tonight? Yes.
Do I plan on sleeping? Probably not.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Maybe. It all depends on how much I sleep.
Do I still need a shower on top of all this? Desperately. Makeup kills me when I sleep.
Although, I am in a slightly better mood now. I talked to Gamble for a bit (a very, very, short bit) about my prediciment with Courtney, and I feel slightly better about it.
"yeah well, at least your making the effort, thats all that counts"
I agree, sort of.. while I know I'm making the effort, and this time it's towards the right thing, I still feel kind of bad. But I don't even know why...
I keep flip-flopping back and forth between how I feel. And right, I feel like I'm in the right. About everything. Beings as I've been trying lately to be better and the fact that what Gamble and I did.. that was my decision. Mine. I love him and he loves me. I understand that they used to love eachother and they used to be intimate... but this isn't about her. This is about me and the fact that I need to do what it takes to make my last months here tolerable. He's my boyfriend. He makes me happy. And that's really all I need...
"He wasn't fair game," she said to me a couple of days ago. Right now, I feel like she has no right to say that. I understand that she was my friend and I understand that she used to love him but that does not give her the right to tell me who I can and cannot love. I can't help the fact that I love him, but I do, and it's not something I'm willing to change just for the sake of one person. I'm happy with him. I love him. He's mine. And nothing anybody says or does is going to change that.
I feel so much better right now. I think I'll go take the pictures he asked for...