Isn't that something.
I walked through Death Valley today. I couldn't look anyone in their eyes, low to the ground, they fight to smile, to live. They reach out there hands, but can't speak. They're confused, depressed, lost in what they think they know. I keep my head down and just keep walking down the hall. It smells like urine and death, weaving in and out of them, they look up to look at me cause I can walk, cause I'm young. They hope maybe I'm family, coming to rescue them. She is lying there, with tubes in her nose so she can breath, her jaw is dropped and her eyes closed. Her wrinkles gather around her mouth and chin. She looks so peaceful, Sleeping. She is so helpless, she wakes to see me, acknowledges my presence with a small grin, and falls back into her slumber.It's so scary to think I'll be there one day. I'm not so good with emotions, when it comes to someone I love, someone I've known my whole life. What do I say when dying is her near future? What words wouldn't confuse her, wouldn't scare her? She was so pale, I hope I'm never that old. Her hands shake so much she can't feed herself. It's so depressing to be there, I hate visiting my grandma.
She got transfered to El Camino. I guess her kidneys are failing, they are only at 15%, Whatever that means. My brother says the people at her home were giving her advil 4 times aday. Advil is supposedly really bad for kidneys. Stoopid people. : /
My brother went into the emergency room to see her, Only one visitor at a time. So I leave, find Mario smoking. I dragged him to go see the newborn babies. There weren't any, Except two that weren't in the window. It makes me so happy to see new life, especially when someone I love is dying. Mario didn't really wanna go, he says he's just happy he doesn't have a baby. I knew he wanted to see em' though. They're so ugly when they're born, but so adorable too. I was mad there weren't more. But I watched as the proud dad took out his photos of his other kids, pointing to them and smiling. Then adoring his new daughter. Priceless.
Mary and I went to the dollar store today. It was cool, I got candles/a piggy bank (purple elephant)/a keychain of a davinchi I think, and cute bowls, Oh and a mug that has a nose. Heh. It was sad to see people actually shopping for food there though. But fuck, I guess I would if I wasn't that well to do either. We got jack n the box milkshakes, I got a malt one, then I got hives. I think I'm allergic to malt?
I came home and helped Mario and Michael sorting their Magic cards to sell. I've been so bored lately. Bored and Lonely. I have one more week till school. I wanna go, but then I don't.
Chelsea met someone. He's like 21. I hope he treats her well, and doesn't use her. She doesn't even know him. Whatever though. I think I already wrote that in here. Oh well.
Going to sleep. bye.