(no subject)
argh i feel like poop. i've been trying to lessen the amt of coffee i have during the day so i can just get a tiny buss but it ends up being way too much because i get jittery all day and feel dehydrated and my muscles get sore. i really enjoy coffee! but lately its just been crap feeling like crap. so im trying to fill my system with as much water/food as possible. i just dont like how i feel, it doesnt feel healthy. also, i may have eaten to much blueberry muffin - 2 giant blueberry muffins, the ones you get at costco. bah! i feel like i just need to calm down! ack! i hope this goes away. no more coffee for you leizel! dexter is napping on the couch so i think i mightjoin him.
things with kris have been good lately save the other night when i had a freak out about everything. what made me sad is that he said that it seems like im trying to sabotage our relationship. i guess so.... but its not that im purposefully trying to riun us. its just that the thigs that go through my head make me think that i should end things with him sometimes. its sp stupid bc i just get so down about stuff that probably doesnt even exist. i decided to not go to class today so i could get things done but im just so fukin restless right now i dont feel like i can breathe. i have an essay thats overdue by a whole fuckin week! a week! and im nearly done but this is happening again, seriously?!?! i kinda hate myself for this right now an part of me just wants to give up. why am i being so depressing>!?!!!!! oh leizel... i miss krzys so much right now. i really cannot wait til out trip to niagra falls! cant believe its going to be my birthday in a couple weeks. craazy. im gonna be the big 2-6! damn... i am getting old. i dont know what to do about this restless feeling. maybe i should just try to ignore it and try to work i had 8.5 hours of sleep so i should be fine. im not going to nap at leats not now its only noontime!
things with kris have been good lately save the other night when i had a freak out about everything. what made me sad is that he said that it seems like im trying to sabotage our relationship. i guess so.... but its not that im purposefully trying to riun us. its just that the thigs that go through my head make me think that i should end things with him sometimes. its sp stupid bc i just get so down about stuff that probably doesnt even exist. i decided to not go to class today so i could get things done but im just so fukin restless right now i dont feel like i can breathe. i have an essay thats overdue by a whole fuckin week! a week! and im nearly done but this is happening again, seriously?!?! i kinda hate myself for this right now an part of me just wants to give up. why am i being so depressing>!?!!!!! oh leizel... i miss krzys so much right now. i really cannot wait til out trip to niagra falls! cant believe its going to be my birthday in a couple weeks. craazy. im gonna be the big 2-6! damn... i am getting old. i dont know what to do about this restless feeling. maybe i should just try to ignore it and try to work i had 8.5 hours of sleep so i should be fine. im not going to nap at leats not now its only noontime!