[080] ten letters to people you know
1. Dear Tammi,
Sucks to be you!!
Hearts and sparkles, Ruby
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2. Dear Attractively Brunette Doctor,
I still think ginger is over-rated. Really! The brunette looks good on you, brings out your eyes and your cheekbones. Ginger would just make you look like an skinny, gangly Weasley person and well, that's not really a saving the world kind of look, you know? I mean, look at Harry Potter! He didn't have ginger hair and neither did Superman. Or Batman. Or Peter Pan. And neither did Captain Hook for that matter and he was all kinds of badass in Hook. And Bishop? I mean, come on, that man makes an umbrella badass, so he's just... shit, how do I explain that? Whatever. Ginger? Not for you.
Attractively Yours, Ruby
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3. Dean,
You should look into Depends, I hear they really help if you have a bladder release problem. =D
-Ruby
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4. Jo,
Dean's a moron, really I just thought you ought to know that. Dean? Big dumb pants wetting moron.
Love, Ruby
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5. Puppy,
Cheat on me again and your brother can save himself, 'kay? And that threat? So not as empty as you think. So take a long long long moment and mull over where your priorities lay. With a scumsucking slut demon (tell Dean to stop whatever line of bullshit he just started) or with a sweet and much more attractive demon who can save your brother's ignorant idiot soul. You can get back to me later.
Love, Ruby
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6. Ford?
In my spare time I'm more badass than you.
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7. To Miss Bela Talbot
Hey, nice making off with the Colt right out from under their noses, real super great and all, but they kind of need it. It's this whold world saving shtick they're on. Saving people, hunting things, blah blah blah blah blah, you get the point, right?
Yours, Ruby
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8. Dear Self,
Invest in Slushie Machine. Trust me, you want it.
Love, Self.
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9. Elle!!
Oh guess what! I'm buying, well stealing really but that's not the point. Oh crap, what was the point? Oh! I'm buying a Slush Machine, the -ie or -o depends on the cute factor of the machine and how I'm going to sneak it inside without the freaks noticing. You in? Of course you're in, you're in, I'll get us outfits.
Love, Ruby
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10. Kitten,
Bible stealing, sin or no? We still haven't figured that out have we? I suppose I could just steal on and see what big guns upstairs would do. Maybe the whole smiting thing, some lightning bolts? That'd be pretty. We should go to church. Also? I want a puppy and a Slush O Slash E machine so I'm getting both and if you come back from your office and I'm not there it's because Elle and I went out to steal the Slush O Slash E machine and then buy a puppy. I think I'm going to name him Sam because that would piss him off to no end and hi, funny!! Anywho, love you, have a fabulous day corraling the freaks or whatever it is you do. Don't kill anything without me.
Love, Ru