(no subject)

Apr 07, 2004 10:25

everything is going to change.
and all the old wounds of the past seem to keep surfacing to make me question every bit of what's going on.
i know i can't feel that way again.
i'm not strong enough this time.

i think about all the times in the past.
i think about everything i've done, good and bad.
and i don't know if i can live with having to go back.
and that's what i feel like i'm doing.
i feel like i'm taking 20 steps back when i should be moving forward, even if only inching forward.
i don't care if things get better.
i'd rather them just stay the same.
i just don't any of this to fall apart. but it is. piece by piece.

and all of this is just tearing away at the hopes i had for the future.

i've just realized. i know nothing of the future, no, not even that there is one. all i know is the present and a ruined past.

and i can't go back.
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