synchronicity is always an unexpected delight for me, and as i perused your entry there was that familiar internal *click*
i too have been musing over what my future plans were as opposed to my present reality. i don't know how many times that, as i have related my little narrative of arrival in nashville, i have spoken the phrase, "i didn't imagine i'd be doing this."
i didn't think i'd be working at a coffeeshop at 25, english degree in hand. or that i would experience such a joy and sense of community in doing so.
but looking back, i realize that i truly had little grasp of actual aspirations on my part. oh, i had ideas - professor, journalist, teacher, even graphic designer for a bit, but they were all fairly vague when it came to the how i was going to arrive at those points.
for now, my desires for the future rest less upon what i could be doing or even where i could be doing it, but rather the sort of person i want to be - the internal growth and momentum that i long for.
i would think that despite the pain inherent to the absence of these brothers, the discovery of who you are devoid of the roles that their presence designates that you take is of much value. just finding how your day shifts in their absence has its worth. on a much smaller scale, i was dicovering similar things about myself while both mark and tasha were in cali.
thank you, by the by, for taking such good care of the precious one while she was away from me. for welcoming her into your home.
on another note, i don't want to trivialize the absence of doyle and taures, or to reduce it to some optimistic object lesson.
in point of fact, one of the things about you that i prize is that you would move to another city in part at least to be close to people who are meaningful to you, which i consider to be quite a countercultural act.
the unfortunate norm in our society seems to be that it's okay to move to a new place for a job, for money, but that doing so for a person is somehow flawed or unwise in some way.
*eh* to that.
true intimate community with people who love you is entirely more rare than a fucking job. and we are much more likely to find ourselves within that community than in a workplace, i think.
well, yes...but i think i should also make it clear that it is and always has been part of my "rules" that one should never move for the sake of romantic love. friends can be forever, but despite my byronic leanings, i still don't believe that a partnered love is stable enough to be grounds for relocation...unless it's already been a matter of years, numerous tests to its strength, and plenty of real-life contact leading up to the endeavor.
my move here was in part due to other people, yes--but it was far from impetuous. i'd still call any man or woman who up and moves cross-country to live with their internet mate a fool, for example.
not that you don't already know this; i just figured i'd clarify the position. my actions may be countercultural, but they've certainly not been uncalculated.
agreed - i would not term your move impetuous at all - and there is a clear distinction in my mind between the sort of move one makes out of unwise romantic desperation and one makes with their intimate community of friends in mind.
to clarify for myself as well, i just find it odd that we make these great moves across country or to other countries for the sake of a career, perhaps from the conviction that in finding the right job we will find ourselves - that we will ascertain our identity from our societal function, as it were. our fierce american individualism serves us well in many places, but i think does us a disservice when the expectation is to leave people with whom we have developed tremendous relationships for our careers.
...which feeds cleverly into my distinct flavor of--if you'll pardon the term--ennui. my life has no career, to speak of; i have simply followed shades of happiness, and schemed with my loved ones. it is a strange, meandering, and distinctly "un-american" behavior, but i nevertheless feel richer for it.
synchronicity is always an unexpected delight for me, and as i perused your entry there was that familiar internal *click*
i too have been musing over what my future plans were as opposed to my present reality.
i don't know how many times that, as i have related my little narrative of arrival in nashville, i have spoken
the phrase, "i didn't imagine i'd be doing this."
i didn't think i'd be working at a coffeeshop at 25, english degree in hand.
or that i would experience such a joy and sense of community in doing so.
but looking back, i realize that i truly had little grasp of actual aspirations on my part.
oh, i had ideas - professor, journalist, teacher, even graphic designer for a bit,
but they were all fairly vague when it came to the how i was going to arrive at those points.
for now, my desires for the future rest less upon what i could be doing or even where i could be doing it, but rather the sort of person i want to be - the internal growth and momentum that i long for.
i would think that despite the pain inherent to the absence of these brothers, the discovery of who you are devoid of the roles that their presence designates that you take is of much value. just finding how your day shifts in their absence has its worth. on a much smaller scale, i was dicovering similar things about myself while both mark and tasha were in cali.
thank you, by the by, for taking such good care of the precious one while she was away from me.
for welcoming her into your home.
hope your piercing is healing well ;-)
i love you, brother
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in point of fact, one of the things about you that i prize is that you would move to another city in part at least to be close to people who are meaningful to you, which i consider to be quite a countercultural act.
the unfortunate norm in our society seems to be that it's okay to move to a new place for a job, for money, but that doing so for a person is somehow flawed or unwise in some way.
*eh* to that.
true intimate community with people who love you is entirely more rare than a fucking job.
and we are much more likely to find ourselves within that community than in a workplace, i think.
Reply
Reply
my move here was in part due to other people, yes--but it was far from impetuous. i'd still call any man or woman who up and moves cross-country to live with their internet mate a fool, for example.
not that you don't already know this; i just figured i'd clarify the position. my actions may be countercultural, but they've certainly not been uncalculated.
*love*
Reply
to clarify for myself as well, i just find it odd that we make these great moves across country or to other countries for the sake of a career, perhaps from the conviction that in finding the right job we will find ourselves - that we will ascertain our identity from our societal function, as it were.
our fierce american individualism serves us well in many places, but i think does us a disservice when the expectation is to leave people with whom we have developed tremendous relationships for our careers.
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Reply
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