(no subject)
One more day teaching elementary music. I was supposed to be done last week, but someone else in the music teacher's family died. Inconvenient, what? Turns out this lady was a fairly important public figure with a lot of connections. I did not realize this until I showed up to play piano at the wake and discovered that the room was stuffed full. Of people, not prawns or sharks or anything else you imagined the room to be stuffed with.
The funeral home was not designed for live music. The keyboard (a trashy thing at least 15 years old) was sequestered away in a little room beside the chapel, with nothing but a window to connect the two. It wasn't even connected to a sound system - the sound is just supposed to float through the window. The sound that comes from a trashy 15-year-old keyboard turned up all the way is not very pretty. But the eulogy was lovely.
Anyway, I am not cut out for elementary school. I hate that it's all about maintaining discipline by playing games. All of the elementary teacher have tricks to get the kids to shut up - a clapping pattern that they imitate, a call-and-response, a saying that gets them to fold their arms like pretzels and puff out their cheeks like there are bubbles inside their mouths. Cute, clever, and not something that I enjoy. I prefer to guilt and terrorize kids into shutting up:
"If you had been quiet, we could have sung the cool song with the CD. But you misbehaved, so we had to sing the songs for this week's mass instead. If you continue to misbehave tomorrow, you will all write essays about the different instruments in the orchestra. And then the shark that lives in the water fountain will eat you, and then he will regurgitate you, and you will be turned into stone by the monster who lives in the corner. Which corner? I'm not going to tell you. That would ruin the surprise. But maybe if you return to your classroom quietly, you won't wake him up."
I had a half-hour reprieve this afternoon while I went to music rehearsal (what part of "I have to get back to school, so can we rehearse quickly?" sounds like "Let's continue chatting about things that have nothing to do with our rehearsal?"). The principal stepped in to sub for me, and when I returned I was relieved to discover that she found the kids just as difficult to deal with as I do. I'm not a failure; the kids just fail to act like adults who have had the fight beaten out of them!
Also, elementary school is exhausting. I do not like being exhausted by the time I begin my private lessons. Fortunately, I only have one lesson tomorrow - rescheduled from this evening. A bit inconvenient, but c'est la vie.
In more exciting news, I CAPTURED CARMEN SANDIEGO, BITCHES! I found a site that has a bunch of old computer games (including Typing of the Dead, which I nailed on my first try because I kick ass at typing) and downloaded a DOS emulator and figured out how to use it, and I've been solving cases like a manwoman in an attempt to capture Carmen. And at last, this evening I caught her! WOOHOO! Now to move from "Where in the USA?" to "Where in the World?"
The only other news is that I am shirking my responsibilities in soliciting volunteers for a speech contest and a telephone committee. Why? Because I love doing things along, and I hate asking for help, so I hate calling on other people. Also, I'm afraid they'll say no, and I'll have to think of someone new to take their place in my mental list of possible volunteers. Also, I just don't like calling people. I no longer fear and loathe and despise it, as I did in high school and college, but I do not yet hold it in positive regard. Maybe I"ll tackle it during tomorrow morning's break. Maybe I'll postpone it until next week. Oh, the drama!
The funeral home was not designed for live music. The keyboard (a trashy thing at least 15 years old) was sequestered away in a little room beside the chapel, with nothing but a window to connect the two. It wasn't even connected to a sound system - the sound is just supposed to float through the window. The sound that comes from a trashy 15-year-old keyboard turned up all the way is not very pretty. But the eulogy was lovely.
Anyway, I am not cut out for elementary school. I hate that it's all about maintaining discipline by playing games. All of the elementary teacher have tricks to get the kids to shut up - a clapping pattern that they imitate, a call-and-response, a saying that gets them to fold their arms like pretzels and puff out their cheeks like there are bubbles inside their mouths. Cute, clever, and not something that I enjoy. I prefer to guilt and terrorize kids into shutting up:
"If you had been quiet, we could have sung the cool song with the CD. But you misbehaved, so we had to sing the songs for this week's mass instead. If you continue to misbehave tomorrow, you will all write essays about the different instruments in the orchestra. And then the shark that lives in the water fountain will eat you, and then he will regurgitate you, and you will be turned into stone by the monster who lives in the corner. Which corner? I'm not going to tell you. That would ruin the surprise. But maybe if you return to your classroom quietly, you won't wake him up."
I had a half-hour reprieve this afternoon while I went to music rehearsal (what part of "I have to get back to school, so can we rehearse quickly?" sounds like "Let's continue chatting about things that have nothing to do with our rehearsal?"). The principal stepped in to sub for me, and when I returned I was relieved to discover that she found the kids just as difficult to deal with as I do. I'm not a failure; the kids just fail to act like adults who have had the fight beaten out of them!
Also, elementary school is exhausting. I do not like being exhausted by the time I begin my private lessons. Fortunately, I only have one lesson tomorrow - rescheduled from this evening. A bit inconvenient, but c'est la vie.
In more exciting news, I CAPTURED CARMEN SANDIEGO, BITCHES! I found a site that has a bunch of old computer games (including Typing of the Dead, which I nailed on my first try because I kick ass at typing) and downloaded a DOS emulator and figured out how to use it, and I've been solving cases like a manwoman in an attempt to capture Carmen. And at last, this evening I caught her! WOOHOO! Now to move from "Where in the USA?" to "Where in the World?"
The only other news is that I am shirking my responsibilities in soliciting volunteers for a speech contest and a telephone committee. Why? Because I love doing things along, and I hate asking for help, so I hate calling on other people. Also, I'm afraid they'll say no, and I'll have to think of someone new to take their place in my mental list of possible volunteers. Also, I just don't like calling people. I no longer fear and loathe and despise it, as I did in high school and college, but I do not yet hold it in positive regard. Maybe I"ll tackle it during tomorrow morning's break. Maybe I'll postpone it until next week. Oh, the drama!