A Eulogy of Conflict and of Hope...

[orchidblack]

What have I gotten myself into?  I feel like I've placed myself directly in the path of conflict.  I don't mind conflict, if it creates something worthwhile in the end.  I know that nothing in this life is ever wasted.  Anyone that knows me the least bit more deeply than the superficial knows this about me

Comments

[longsuffering23]

There is so much I want to respond to in your post

[longsuffering23]

third: "I have allowed others to rule my life for far too long. I have lived in the belief that I cannot make choices for myself, that I must follow what others say must be so in my life. I have barricaded my thoughts, my feelings, my passions, all my life, and for what? To what end? Am I happier? Am I more successful

[sadeyedartist]

Dear orchidblack

[orchidblack]

Thank you so very much. I feel like every time I write here, I need to apologise for being absent, and for not responding sooner. In order to avoid sounding like a broken record, I'll not bore you with that. Only know that your comments have meant the world to me. I'm back into my art, and have started being more free with my thoughts, attempting to put something more passionate and spontaneous into my artwork. I am a very passionate person, but this does not come through at all in my work. It makes it into my singing if it's something close to my heart, but I've been told that when I sing passionately, it's as if I were naked in front of the world, and that makes people uncomfortable. Still, I do believe it's where I need to be, and what I need to do. My day job now is quite different from what my day job was when I first penned this post. In some ways, it's still the same, of course... I have to make money, so I'm in retail sales now, attempting to sell things that I have no interest in to make a buck. I am interested in

Oh Sweet Nightbird

[raindreamin]

I was thinking about our recent visit--the purging and cleaning of your studio for example brings to mind what we must do often to keep ourselves from becoming stagnant and not allowing us to grow as individuals, artists, writers, spouses--whatever our roles in this life are, should be limitless in reality just as they are in our minds--our hopeful minds. We all need to clean and purge every so often. It helps us focus on other things of importance. It helps us direct our attention away from inner thoughts and onto productive creativity. It's like a fresh start and what's wrong with that? ha