Around and around we go....
I really don't know what's wrong with me lately. My fatigue levels and symptoms are all over the place, my moods are swinging like a pendulum, my appetite is erratic and I just feel really fragile.
Sometimes I feel I just want to shut the door and keep everything out because I feel emotionally and physically like tissue paper that may tear if the wind blows too strongly.
It's at times like these I really wish I had man to just put strong arms round me and tell me everything will be ok. Just to know I had someone who would always be there and support me but to be honest not even me would want me. Who'd want to have to cope with someone who can't actually do anything, who get's exhausted just going out to dinner and is basically a burden more thant anything else.
I stopped going on one of the CFIDS support forums because it was just so depressing how many members had their partners leave them because they couldn't cope or simply didn't want to deal with someone who had CFS.
It's hard to be strong, positive and hang on to what little independance I have left all the time when I'm constantly exhausted.
I just want to be out there doing so much more and CFIDS is not something where you can just push yourself through the pain and do as if it were a broken limb or something.
I'm a very focused person, if I know how to do something or how to fix something I just do it. It's simple. They told me how to fix my Coeliac condition, by changing my diet, simple enough to do and stick to if you're discplined enough and I am. I stick ridgidly to my diet. It's a bore, gluten free food ain't that great, and I'd love to eat pizza and be able to pick anything off the menu at a restuarant and not have to plan ahead whenever I go out to make sure I have food with me but that's not the case. However it's a no brainer to me, if I don't want to feel iller or damage my body I only eat gluten free food.
With CFIDS no one seems to have a clue apart from, don't do nothing but don't do too much but also we have no way of telling you what too much or too little is. Oh and by the way most people in the medical community think this isn't even a physical disease so no one's really doing anything about it.
I know my Iron, folate, and B12 levels have dropped dramatically since I've had CFIDS but everytime I mention it to the doctor it's brushed off because I'm just into what's considered the normal level by a hairs breadth.
Now I'm not a Doctor but to me that's not a conicedence and it seems strange that as healthy as I eat it and with all the suppliments it doesn't seem to have a significant impact on these levels at all. Why don't the look into it and stop giving me the brush off?
This entry was originally posted at http://atlantis-angel.dreamwidth.org/15087.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Sometimes I feel I just want to shut the door and keep everything out because I feel emotionally and physically like tissue paper that may tear if the wind blows too strongly.
It's at times like these I really wish I had man to just put strong arms round me and tell me everything will be ok. Just to know I had someone who would always be there and support me but to be honest not even me would want me. Who'd want to have to cope with someone who can't actually do anything, who get's exhausted just going out to dinner and is basically a burden more thant anything else.
I stopped going on one of the CFIDS support forums because it was just so depressing how many members had their partners leave them because they couldn't cope or simply didn't want to deal with someone who had CFS.
It's hard to be strong, positive and hang on to what little independance I have left all the time when I'm constantly exhausted.
I just want to be out there doing so much more and CFIDS is not something where you can just push yourself through the pain and do as if it were a broken limb or something.
I'm a very focused person, if I know how to do something or how to fix something I just do it. It's simple. They told me how to fix my Coeliac condition, by changing my diet, simple enough to do and stick to if you're discplined enough and I am. I stick ridgidly to my diet. It's a bore, gluten free food ain't that great, and I'd love to eat pizza and be able to pick anything off the menu at a restuarant and not have to plan ahead whenever I go out to make sure I have food with me but that's not the case. However it's a no brainer to me, if I don't want to feel iller or damage my body I only eat gluten free food.
With CFIDS no one seems to have a clue apart from, don't do nothing but don't do too much but also we have no way of telling you what too much or too little is. Oh and by the way most people in the medical community think this isn't even a physical disease so no one's really doing anything about it.
I know my Iron, folate, and B12 levels have dropped dramatically since I've had CFIDS but everytime I mention it to the doctor it's brushed off because I'm just into what's considered the normal level by a hairs breadth.
Now I'm not a Doctor but to me that's not a conicedence and it seems strange that as healthy as I eat it and with all the suppliments it doesn't seem to have a significant impact on these levels at all. Why don't the look into it and stop giving me the brush off?
This entry was originally posted at http://atlantis-angel.dreamwidth.org/15087.html. Please comment there using OpenID.