back
what a first day back. lots of stress around the unit tonight. dakota was trying to pick a fight all night, and was fairly successful in escalating chris. in part i think it was because he was bored, that's one of the reasons he frequently cites. i feel responsible for that to a degree, since i'm the one who creates programming for the unit. at the same time, it's his way of acting something out, telling us something, responding to his life. it was one of those nights where i was constantly on my feet getting something for someone or attempting to break up inappropriate horse play with my physical proximity.
brett blew up at me, in part because i responded to his behavior with being loud and confrontational, which i know doesn't work with him. it's just hard to stop and thing about what exactly it is that i need to do in order to stop this kid from choking this less powerful kid. i responded from a place of frustration and anger instead of somewheres more productive and aware. in any case it stopped brett from choking his peer and he immediately turned his aggression towards me, which is better than at a peer, but stressful nonetheless. later we had a great talk about what's going on in his life. it's pretty fucked up. his options are extremely limited and he doesn't want to have to chose any of them, and i don't blame him. it felt great having him talk to me, we've slowly been building up to conversations like tonight, but it's been a pretty bumpy road and filled with set backs like the one experienced tonight.
i dunno, lots of little stuff too. like we had to go on lock down because of another unit and deshawn kept antagonizing people and joe was legitimately bored and upset but there was little i could do about it. i hate telling people 'no' and disappointing, but that's certainly a part of the job.
i think tomorrow will be better. i'm going to the morrissey concert on thursday in cleveland, so that'll be something to look forward to. not that i didn't just take a ten day vacation...