Nobody's Home (revisited)
Found out a lot today.
not really anything of importance or relevance to others besides myself (and maybe not even that) but yeah...
Occurrences that have well , occurred ... Financially it seems as things maybe working out, i've gone and pursued a different line of work but still kept ties with the later incase that doesnt work out.
Family wise ... meh who knows they dont talk to me much nor do I. Should be different, better, but it is what it is. Maybe some distance would do me good.
Friends ... are around when needed, im willing and able and like to believe they are as well. Some form of reassurance does help though, I need to be reminded sometimes.
Self ... oddly not confused about life situations. That leaves me kind of discouraged as reality sets in. Really though the only advise I need is a simple "get outta bed, and go." Destination is unimportant really.
Something I have to work on is keeping busy and my mind off things that aren't. I try and look at everything from different angle and factor in consequences and believe thats maybe why I pass off as quiet or shy when in fact im just thinking. I hate trying to change things I cant though.
Something that was brought up was sleep. Oddly enough im almost always exhausted. Nothing new really. Its something that i've gotten used to over the years. I dont get much sleep on purpose for the reason that I dont enjoy dreaming. Or nightmares either. Dreams remind me of all I dont have, or all that I am not. Sometimes it may just be different place, or a conversation. Most of the time though its entirely like my actual life with a "What If" skew to it. Such as a different choice made and what might've came of it. Nightmares on the other hand (for me) are something I can actually deal with when I wake up as they seem to be totally out of the realm of possibility. So basically waking up with an actual willingness to strive for my 'dream' is (for now) not quite there. I like to think that one day your life can be better then your dreams and that's the way it should be shouldn't it?
not really anything of importance or relevance to others besides myself (and maybe not even that) but yeah...
Occurrences that have well , occurred ... Financially it seems as things maybe working out, i've gone and pursued a different line of work but still kept ties with the later incase that doesnt work out.
Family wise ... meh who knows they dont talk to me much nor do I. Should be different, better, but it is what it is. Maybe some distance would do me good.
Friends ... are around when needed, im willing and able and like to believe they are as well. Some form of reassurance does help though, I need to be reminded sometimes.
Self ... oddly not confused about life situations. That leaves me kind of discouraged as reality sets in. Really though the only advise I need is a simple "get outta bed, and go." Destination is unimportant really.
Something I have to work on is keeping busy and my mind off things that aren't. I try and look at everything from different angle and factor in consequences and believe thats maybe why I pass off as quiet or shy when in fact im just thinking. I hate trying to change things I cant though.
Something that was brought up was sleep. Oddly enough im almost always exhausted. Nothing new really. Its something that i've gotten used to over the years. I dont get much sleep on purpose for the reason that I dont enjoy dreaming. Or nightmares either. Dreams remind me of all I dont have, or all that I am not. Sometimes it may just be different place, or a conversation. Most of the time though its entirely like my actual life with a "What If" skew to it. Such as a different choice made and what might've came of it. Nightmares on the other hand (for me) are something I can actually deal with when I wake up as they seem to be totally out of the realm of possibility. So basically waking up with an actual willingness to strive for my 'dream' is (for now) not quite there. I like to think that one day your life can be better then your dreams and that's the way it should be shouldn't it?