what's the question?
because I don't know the answer either. I just know it's not alcohol.
sure, it's been a rough day. it's one thing to get shit thrown at you, but when the timing is awful, it just seems so much worse. and I'm used to getting shit thrown at me. that's basically been my life for the past who knows how many years. shit. it's just a matter of that shit being thrown at me in jest or seriously. either way, girl can only take so much. who made it a rule that I'm only allowed to be happy and awesome? why can't I just be sad and hate everything once in a while?
I could have easily gone to bed like, two hours ago. but I decided somehow that it was a good idea to avoid my parents a little bit longer. and then I decided it was a good idea to come home and drink more by myself. and even now, I'm minimally buzzed so I'm tempted to finish that bottle. but everyone and their mothers know that it would be moronic of me to do so. but really? you'd think that three shots would do it for me since I literally did not eat dinner.
anyway. how come I'm not allowed to be sad? everyone comes to me to complain about shit in their lives and I'm expected to just be peachy keen all the time? I'm pretty confident when I say that every single person has freaked out when they saw me cry. perhaps it's because it almost never happens (in public) so no one knows what it means. or maybe I need better people in my life. regardless, it's too much pressure to pretend to be okay all the time. I kind of hate that A is able to see through my bullshit at this point, but I guess its good for me because I don't have the requirement of being completely together all the goddamn time.
so is unemployment the cause of all my issues? or the result?
sure, it's been a rough day. it's one thing to get shit thrown at you, but when the timing is awful, it just seems so much worse. and I'm used to getting shit thrown at me. that's basically been my life for the past who knows how many years. shit. it's just a matter of that shit being thrown at me in jest or seriously. either way, girl can only take so much. who made it a rule that I'm only allowed to be happy and awesome? why can't I just be sad and hate everything once in a while?
I could have easily gone to bed like, two hours ago. but I decided somehow that it was a good idea to avoid my parents a little bit longer. and then I decided it was a good idea to come home and drink more by myself. and even now, I'm minimally buzzed so I'm tempted to finish that bottle. but everyone and their mothers know that it would be moronic of me to do so. but really? you'd think that three shots would do it for me since I literally did not eat dinner.
anyway. how come I'm not allowed to be sad? everyone comes to me to complain about shit in their lives and I'm expected to just be peachy keen all the time? I'm pretty confident when I say that every single person has freaked out when they saw me cry. perhaps it's because it almost never happens (in public) so no one knows what it means. or maybe I need better people in my life. regardless, it's too much pressure to pretend to be okay all the time. I kind of hate that A is able to see through my bullshit at this point, but I guess its good for me because I don't have the requirement of being completely together all the goddamn time.
so is unemployment the cause of all my issues? or the result?