(no subject)
Click to viewBack before I became a mother, I swore I would never turn into one of those smug bitches who goes around all the time talking about how meaningful it is to be a mom and how anyone who has never done it couldn't possibly understand. So I'll just say it once... it's so meaningful to be a mom, and if you haven't done it, you couldn't possibly understand.
Having Danica has been so good for me. She has inspired me to take a closer look at my life and the people I choose to have in it, and think about the effect that they have on the way I experience the world. I don't care to bring her up around a bunch of drama. I need to be around people who are grounded, stable, and centered so I can give her the solid emotional foundation that she deserves. I have become very picky about the people who I spend time with, perhaps too much so.
Okay, so I'm isolating because I'm scared to get wrapped up again with someone who might wind up hurting me. It's a lesson to learn. I need to trust, but also be careful who I give my trust to. I'm not sure that I'm ready to do that because I feel like anytime I let someone new into my life, I'm also letting them into Danica's life. By having higher standards for her, I'm also having higher standards for myself. In the end, this will be good for me, if I can learn to trust again. I need to set a good example and teach Danica that taking emotional risks by opening up to people is a worthwhile thing to do because even if a friendship doesn't last forever, that doesn't mean that it can't sustain you and serve a very fulfilling role in your life for a period of time. It's better to have loved and lost, and all that jazz.
Now I need to take my own advice. I have so many opportunities to make new friends right now. I'm meeting tons of new people all the time who share a lot of my interests. It's time for me to take a deep breath and jump in.