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Hey everyone ^^ It always annoys me that I never get around to getting as much done creatively as I'd like, so this is really a great way to get at least sit down and get a little something done. I mostly write so that's probably what you'll see most of from me, though I can't say anything about the quality heh.
I wanted to try something different than what I usually write, so I decided to try writing a story consisting only of dialogue, getting as much information across as possible without describing too much. I'm not sure how clear it is who's speaking when and how much of the events themselves are clear, but here it is:
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"Don't be silly, you're shivering!"
"No, really, I'm fine. It's just a bit of cold, it's nothing, you don't have to... Don't look at me like that."
"You're shivering."
"No..."
"You are."
"Really, it's okay."
"You're being stubborn now".
"...Okay, fine. There, that better?"
"Yes. See, I told you there's plenty of room for you over here."
-
"...why are you crying? Hey, it's okay, don't... don't cry..."
"I'm fine, really. It's just... I'm just a bit sad."
"Don't -"
"Don't you ever just get sad for no reason? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just a girl thing. I don't know."
"I don't, I mean, no, I guess -"
"I really am fine, I just need a couple minutes, and... yeah..."
"Still...
"Yeah, well..."
"Here, so you can dry your eyes."
"Thanks."
-
"You're shaking."
"No."
"Don't start that, you really are!"
"I'm fine. I'll be fine. I promise. Anyway, you didn't want to listen when you were shaking and -"
"You promise?"
"Yes."
"Aha."
"What?"
"Nothing, just... lie still while I get this around you."
"You'll freeze without your jacket."
"Then we'll just have to lie closer, won't we?"
-
"I wonder how long it'll take them."
"Probably a while. It's a pretty bad collapse; I think the entire ceiling's gone."
"Still, shouldn't they be here by now? Or, I mean, shouldn't we at least have heard something?"
"I'm not sure it's been that long. Time's just a bit weird when we're just lying here, I think."
"Still..."
"I know."
"I mean, we won't... You won't..."
"I'm sure they'll be here soon."
-
"I'm not sure it's good idea for you to fall asleep."
"I'm not sleeping, I'm just... I'm not sleeping."
"Hm."
"I'm not sleeping, I promise."
"Another promise?"
"Don't I always keep my promises?"
"Sometimes we break promises even when we don't mean to."
"I don't want-"
"I know. That's the point. Just don't... Just don't fall asleep, okay?"
-
"You're sleeping... Please, don't..."
" 'm sorry."
"Just... Stay with me."
"You know I can't move."
"That's not what I meant."
-
"Wake up. Please? Wake up, come on..."
-
"Hear that? I think the paramedics are on their way now. Funny, isn't it? I don't think they're more than ten minutes too late. Ten minutes... Doesn't really seem fair, does it? Maybe that's just me, I don't know... I didn't say 'thank you', did I? I'm sorry, I should have. Doesn't seem fair either that I don't even thank you for saving my life, does it? No, it doesn't... I don't... I hope you can hear me, somewhere. I really do... Oh look, I think that was a flashlight. Hey! We're over here! We're... I'm over here!"
Constructive criticism or just general comments appreciated ^^
I wanted to try something different than what I usually write, so I decided to try writing a story consisting only of dialogue, getting as much information across as possible without describing too much. I'm not sure how clear it is who's speaking when and how much of the events themselves are clear, but here it is:
Close
"Don't be silly, you're shivering!"
"No, really, I'm fine. It's just a bit of cold, it's nothing, you don't have to... Don't look at me like that."
"You're shivering."
"No..."
"You are."
"Really, it's okay."
"You're being stubborn now".
"...Okay, fine. There, that better?"
"Yes. See, I told you there's plenty of room for you over here."
-
"...why are you crying? Hey, it's okay, don't... don't cry..."
"I'm fine, really. It's just... I'm just a bit sad."
"Don't -"
"Don't you ever just get sad for no reason? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just a girl thing. I don't know."
"I don't, I mean, no, I guess -"
"I really am fine, I just need a couple minutes, and... yeah..."
"Still...
"Yeah, well..."
"Here, so you can dry your eyes."
"Thanks."
-
"You're shaking."
"No."
"Don't start that, you really are!"
"I'm fine. I'll be fine. I promise. Anyway, you didn't want to listen when you were shaking and -"
"You promise?"
"Yes."
"Aha."
"What?"
"Nothing, just... lie still while I get this around you."
"You'll freeze without your jacket."
"Then we'll just have to lie closer, won't we?"
-
"I wonder how long it'll take them."
"Probably a while. It's a pretty bad collapse; I think the entire ceiling's gone."
"Still, shouldn't they be here by now? Or, I mean, shouldn't we at least have heard something?"
"I'm not sure it's been that long. Time's just a bit weird when we're just lying here, I think."
"Still..."
"I know."
"I mean, we won't... You won't..."
"I'm sure they'll be here soon."
-
"I'm not sure it's good idea for you to fall asleep."
"I'm not sleeping, I'm just... I'm not sleeping."
"Hm."
"I'm not sleeping, I promise."
"Another promise?"
"Don't I always keep my promises?"
"Sometimes we break promises even when we don't mean to."
"I don't want-"
"I know. That's the point. Just don't... Just don't fall asleep, okay?"
-
"You're sleeping... Please, don't..."
" 'm sorry."
"Just... Stay with me."
"You know I can't move."
"That's not what I meant."
-
"Wake up. Please? Wake up, come on..."
-
"Hear that? I think the paramedics are on their way now. Funny, isn't it? I don't think they're more than ten minutes too late. Ten minutes... Doesn't really seem fair, does it? Maybe that's just me, I don't know... I didn't say 'thank you', did I? I'm sorry, I should have. Doesn't seem fair either that I don't even thank you for saving my life, does it? No, it doesn't... I don't... I hope you can hear me, somewhere. I really do... Oh look, I think that was a flashlight. Hey! We're over here! We're... I'm over here!"
Constructive criticism or just general comments appreciated ^^