I'LL SPONGEBOB YOUR SQUAREPANTS
Hello everyone,
Just thought I'd make sure everyone knows I'm still alive over here and haven't died of some exotic Brisbanian disease (or contracted any embarrassing ones. Jackie, don't even think of it).
Thankyou to everyone who wrote me a plane letter, regardless of whether I in fact received it or not, it's the thought that counts. Thankyou doubly to the people who gave me CDs, my iPod would’ve been brimming with happiness, if I had recovered it from my Dad’s underwear drawer in time for the flight. Well, I’m listening to them on my coach’s laptop, undoubtedly burning up the batteries as quickly as it takes Candy to apply her mascara to her eyes. (…lame analogy, I know.) I’m impressed! Markus, yours will last me for 6 or so hours!
Anyway, your replies:
JACKIE: That’s really annoying. What a whore. But he was honest. I guess you could have given him another chance? By the sound of it, he really cared for you and you really cared for him. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not too late? Stir up a happy ending for me. I like those.
CLAIRE: Despite the fact it may seem horrendous to express joy at the termination of a friend’s romantic relationship, I only do so because it is obvious it was not working out, so I must congratulate you. GO CLAIRE! The only regret I have is that I’m not here to give you a feminist proactive congratulatory high five, due to a few hundred kilometres separating us at this point. But when I get back, I shall throw you a party. In a literal sense, of course. No one is setting foot inside my house.
I love and miss you very much and remind you that it is not his fault that he is only a stupid needy boy with a strange approach to his female friendships and some serious problems with his romantic ones. In the long run, it is he who will be screwed while you live happily ever after. I hope that thought warms your heart.
DAVINA: Happy Birthday!!!
I mean, Happy ANNIVERSARY! Nine months... that is like WHOOOOAAAAAA!
It makes up something equivalent to... lemme work it out here. You celebrate your birthday on December 5. Which means that you are 16 years, 4 months, 9 days and 12 hours old. 9 months of that is about... 4.592% of that time (to 3 decimal places).
That's coming up to 1/20th of your life spent with Alex dearest. Good for you!
CHERYL: Go for the piñata. Completely worth the broken ruler, I say. And you should try to establish it as a weekly/tri-weekly ritual, so when the going gets tough, you can use a baseball bat instead of the ruler, and substitute the piñata for his head. Sorry, sorry, that was the last crack I’ll make at him. I promise.
MARKUS: Woooowww..I’ll elaborate later. I’ve been infront of a computer for too long.
I've got to go warm up now. *groans* But I'll promise that I will reply to everyone, either verbally, literally, whatever.
Just thought I'd make sure everyone knows I'm still alive over here and haven't died of some exotic Brisbanian disease (or contracted any embarrassing ones. Jackie, don't even think of it).
Thankyou to everyone who wrote me a plane letter, regardless of whether I in fact received it or not, it's the thought that counts. Thankyou doubly to the people who gave me CDs, my iPod would’ve been brimming with happiness, if I had recovered it from my Dad’s underwear drawer in time for the flight. Well, I’m listening to them on my coach’s laptop, undoubtedly burning up the batteries as quickly as it takes Candy to apply her mascara to her eyes. (…lame analogy, I know.) I’m impressed! Markus, yours will last me for 6 or so hours!
Anyway, your replies:
JACKIE: That’s really annoying. What a whore. But he was honest. I guess you could have given him another chance? By the sound of it, he really cared for you and you really cared for him. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not too late? Stir up a happy ending for me. I like those.
CLAIRE: Despite the fact it may seem horrendous to express joy at the termination of a friend’s romantic relationship, I only do so because it is obvious it was not working out, so I must congratulate you. GO CLAIRE! The only regret I have is that I’m not here to give you a feminist proactive congratulatory high five, due to a few hundred kilometres separating us at this point. But when I get back, I shall throw you a party. In a literal sense, of course. No one is setting foot inside my house.
I love and miss you very much and remind you that it is not his fault that he is only a stupid needy boy with a strange approach to his female friendships and some serious problems with his romantic ones. In the long run, it is he who will be screwed while you live happily ever after. I hope that thought warms your heart.
DAVINA: Happy Birthday!!!
I mean, Happy ANNIVERSARY! Nine months... that is like WHOOOOAAAAAA!
It makes up something equivalent to... lemme work it out here. You celebrate your birthday on December 5. Which means that you are 16 years, 4 months, 9 days and 12 hours old. 9 months of that is about... 4.592% of that time (to 3 decimal places).
That's coming up to 1/20th of your life spent with Alex dearest. Good for you!
CHERYL: Go for the piñata. Completely worth the broken ruler, I say. And you should try to establish it as a weekly/tri-weekly ritual, so when the going gets tough, you can use a baseball bat instead of the ruler, and substitute the piñata for his head. Sorry, sorry, that was the last crack I’ll make at him. I promise.
MARKUS: Woooowww..I’ll elaborate later. I’ve been infront of a computer for too long.
I've got to go warm up now. *groans* But I'll promise that I will reply to everyone, either verbally, literally, whatever.