Sometimes I reach a state where I feel I've given up. It's not an ultimate act of giving up on life, but it has a smaller yet similar feeling of being trapped, with nothing to look forward to. No hope, no inspiration. So sense of worth in the past, present, or future. Just muddling through, endlessly. Why strive anymore ( Read more... )

Late last week, they started me loading the trucks. It's a basic thing everyone gets to try out, but they had prioritized keeping me on the top belt, picking off packages. I figure now that things have gotten lighter, they can train me to do more stuff ( Read more... )

Since I turn red, experience tachycardia and often nausea when I consume ethanol, I might be at a higher risk of esophageal cancer, says this one paper. The symptoms mean I am either ALDH2 deficient or ALDH2 low activity, so I metabolize a highly toxic byproduct of ethanol, acetaldehyde, much slower than other people. It accumulates and gives me ( Read more... )

Setting aside time to read real books, no apologies, heals more than 1000 self-help articles.

Originally posted at http://olimay.dreamwidth.org/245137.html, with
( Read more... )

I understand the irony of this title.

A few weeks ago, I began to really give credence to the idea that anxiety has been a big factor in how I've gone through my life. How many decisions have I made because I worried or tense or wanted to avoid something? A lot, probably.

Anxiety has two parts, as far as I can tell.

• Tension
• Thoughts

The thoughts ( Read more... )

I reread Duff's article about How to Deal Effectively With Peer Pressure and the JADE heuristic, and it's a great tool for avoiding needless conflict when others are trying to use peer pressure on you.

JADE is for what you're trying to avoid:

1. Justifying
2. Arguing
3. Defending
4. Explaining

It is a good heuristic. There are other times and places it might be ( Read more... )

I interrupt the usual blah blah blah about life and productivity for something stupid (in a different way).

I really want to learn how to dance!

Okay, so I already dance around the house when no one's looking (usually to サカナクション, especially since Adam reminded me of this music video)--it's really fun ( Read more... )

Zach said something in response to the account of my exercise attempt that got me thinking:
In my experience, I tend to gain more from team exercises (ex - playing basketball with friends) than from exercising by myself - I find it boring, and not useful even for introspection ( Read more... )

Today I learned something important: how much my brain really can shut down under perceived pressure. I had a video Skype conversation with Anna Salamon from SIAI. It wasn't an interview; the purpose of the interview was so she could learn more about me and also for me to see if there was anything I could help with as a volunteer. After we'd talked ( Read more... )

I've been wanting a better way to monitor mood and track things that helped or worsened anxiety/depression. There are questionaires one can fill out, but the ones I've seen talk about the goings on of the past week. There are times when my mood varies wildly, and I need to evaluate it on a daily, or even hourly basis ( Read more... )