7 w pp
I am 7 weeks postpartum, and weigh 159 today.
That probably sounds like a lot (which it is), but the day I came home from the hospital, I weighed 181. I didn't start trying to lose weight until 2 weeks postpartum. Now I'm totally addicted :) That said, I want to say right now, that I am NOT anorexic. Looking back at my older posts on here, I probably sound that way by saying things like "I need to fast" or "I need to starve" which I do still do those things to lose weight, but not because I'm anorexic. I count calories, and exercise, because I am *dieting*. I just wanted to make that clear. Anorexic people *wish* they were normal, they *wish* they didn't have ana running their lives, they *hide* their skinny bodies in baggy clothes, they *starve* because ana tells them to. I starve, and count calories, because I WANT to, I WANT to lose weight!
I'm 12 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight of 147.... yeah, 147. Terrible. I know. I got real fat after having miscarriages, and being so incredibly depressed.
But I'm not going to stop losing weight when I get there! I'm going to keep going until I get to 125. Maybe lower? Not sure.
Anyway, there are some things that I want to remind myself of for the future...
1. Eating does NOT help me feel better when you have brain fog. It's a total waste of calories and fat. I'm better off just not eating at all, because I will feel the same way either way. Brain fog days are unavoidable/unfixable, and caused by lack of sleep, not calories.
2. Eating also doesn't help me get to sleep at night. I have insomnia either way. I can lay there starving not able to sleep, or give in, eat something, and lay there feeling guilty not able to sleep. I'll stick with starving.
baby is crying!
laters<3
That probably sounds like a lot (which it is), but the day I came home from the hospital, I weighed 181. I didn't start trying to lose weight until 2 weeks postpartum. Now I'm totally addicted :) That said, I want to say right now, that I am NOT anorexic. Looking back at my older posts on here, I probably sound that way by saying things like "I need to fast" or "I need to starve" which I do still do those things to lose weight, but not because I'm anorexic. I count calories, and exercise, because I am *dieting*. I just wanted to make that clear. Anorexic people *wish* they were normal, they *wish* they didn't have ana running their lives, they *hide* their skinny bodies in baggy clothes, they *starve* because ana tells them to. I starve, and count calories, because I WANT to, I WANT to lose weight!
I'm 12 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight of 147.... yeah, 147. Terrible. I know. I got real fat after having miscarriages, and being so incredibly depressed.
But I'm not going to stop losing weight when I get there! I'm going to keep going until I get to 125. Maybe lower? Not sure.
Anyway, there are some things that I want to remind myself of for the future...
1. Eating does NOT help me feel better when you have brain fog. It's a total waste of calories and fat. I'm better off just not eating at all, because I will feel the same way either way. Brain fog days are unavoidable/unfixable, and caused by lack of sleep, not calories.
2. Eating also doesn't help me get to sleep at night. I have insomnia either way. I can lay there starving not able to sleep, or give in, eat something, and lay there feeling guilty not able to sleep. I'll stick with starving.
baby is crying!
laters<3