Scandal! Kerry Washington discovered her father is not her biological father late in life

[afeelingunacted]

Woke up today sooooooo thankful to my beautiful parents for encouraging me (albeit sometimes reluctantly 🤣) on this journey of self discovery. Our shared truth has allowed us to cultivate more FREEDOM and a deeper love with each other. I am forever changed. And NOW, I’m super… pic.twitter.com/aqGihiryZb
- kerry washington (@kerrywashington)

Comments

[squirrels_oh_no]

I'm glad she's in a good place about this.

Speaking of genetics, though, I don't look much like my father at all (I'm very much my mother's child) but I def got a lot of my personality from him instead. And I know I'm biologically related thanks to 23 and me which also revealed my grandmother had a secret sister that was given up for adoption as a baby and that was awkward because my grandmother is dead but her secret sister is still alive and was very confused as to who the hell me and my dad's cousin (her closest relatives on 23 and me) were.

[blahblah890]

Wow. Good for them for getting through that.

[lulufairybubble]

I don't agree with their choice,but I do think that was just thought of as the best thing to do back then. People used to hide that their kids were adopted too. That's not thought of as ok now but not long ago it was acceptable to do.

[afeelingunacted]

Yeah, I see a lot of people dragging her parents for this but she was born in 1977 and the advice was really contradictory then. Especially because there wasn't sophisticated DNA testing it seemed so much more likely they could just ignore it.

This is so, so common. Honestly the only shocking part of this is that her dad and mom made the conscious choice to go for a sperm donor cause when I read the title I thought it was going to be revealed her mom had an affair.

[archersangel]

....when I read the title I thought it was going to be revealed her mom had an affair.

Me too. Or that her Mom was pregnant with her Ex's child when they got together.

[rubie_dubidoux]

yeah and even as those norms change, once you've started keeping a secret it becomes that much harder to eventually reveal it. you kinda gotta do it as soon as possible or never, until that becomes impossible

[adb7]

The "sense" that something isn't quite right is so interesting to me. I guess the parents give away the truth in some ways without ever admitting it directly? I had a coworker who discovered the same thing when she was 45. She showed us some of her journals from when she was a kid and she wrote about thinking something was weird with her parents when she was just 6 years old.

[pa0r_ple]

And that's why I'd rather try to explain to a kid than keeping them in the dark. A lot of adults assume kids won't pick up on things or can't understand but if the alternative is gaslighting a child to the point where they get anxiety or other issues pop up, the kinder thing to do is tell them.

My parents constantly did that and it definitely affected me.

[my_moloko]

Adults definitely don't give kids credit for being smart. They assume kids are stupid or won't notice/pick up on things and it's just not true.

[aleksie]

Adults are weird about hiding difficult or potentially difficult things from kids. This is true about so many things. Not discussing different types of oppression, thinking their kids aren't aware that their parents are unhappy with each other..

There are child-friendly ways to handle things, even if it's not fun.

[damaliaraya]

Haha. The dad I grew up with isn’t my bio dad, because my bio dad pulled a runner before I was born, and I think I’ve always known? my mom put the actual guy is on my birth certificate, for whatever that’s worth. But we all pretend I didn’t know until I was well into my twenties when that random man from Homestead popped up taking about he was looking for a kidney. 🙃

I was happier pretending my stepfather was my bio dad but of course my bio dad made a selfish choice because that’s all he’s ever done, and even had the nerve to say he was sorry but he had to stay away because “your mother was letting that other man play daddy and I couldn’t see that.”

I did not get tested to see if I could donate a kidney to him. I did laugh in his ear over the phone when he asked.

[anterrabre]

OMG, your bio father has absolutely no shame whatsoever. I'm glad you laughed at him.

[damaliaraya]

The most shameless. I think a lack of consequences is at fault. Even now my sister recently told me he just had another baby with some woman in her twenties (I'm 35) so he has grown up not at all.