50 Shades Darker: Chapter 12 and 13
Last time on 50 Shades Darker: Ana and Christian go on a romantic boat ride, but their love takes a turn for the worse when Christian doesn't want Ana to go to work and then changes company policy to keep her from going to New York.
Like sand through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives. *durururu*
Whoa! He has a hotline to my groin, I gasp and glance nervously at Taylor and Sawyer, then at Christian, and his eyes are darker. He gives me a slow carnal smile.
Ing: Okay so Chapter 12 starts with Mrs Robinson showing up and she's being blackmailed or whatever and then Ana stays back and sulks and Christian and Ana argue about it cause she's being ridic
Maya: As per usual
Ing: And Ana realises she doesn't know if she should make him coffee or tea in the evening and she wears a skimpy night dress to bed and she falls asleep in the libraaary
Maya: And looks like a 30's movie star OF COURSE. OH AND THE PIANO SEXXING, which, believe it or not, is not the first piano sexxing scene I've read in a romance novel
His tongue circles my navel as his hands- and his thumbs . . . oh his thumbs-reach the summit of my thighs.
“Ah!” I cry out as he pushes one inside me. The other persecutes me, slowly, agonizingly, circling round and round.
PERSECUTING THUMBS. SOMEONE CALL THE AVENGERS.
Ing: I can imagine. Actually, it seems fun. Just if it’s not written by EL James. "He lifts me bodily onto the piano." What does that even mean
Ing: And theeeeen he wakes her up with a 'good morning, beautiful' because ew. And then: “I recall the crack whore baking.” OMFG I forgot this
“Do you have any happy memories of your childhood?” I ask quickly, mainly to distract him. He looks pensive for a moment, still running his finger along my skin.
“I recall the crack whore baking. I remember the smell. A birthday cake I think. For me."
Maya: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. NEW FAVORITE LINE
Ing: SHE WROTE THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE
Maya: PEOPLE READ THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, ANYWAY, Ana then goes to work blah blah blah she looks super hot blah blah blah everyone she knows is sexy bla blah blah her boss is a jackass
“Morning, Ana,” Jack mutters as I make my way to my desk. “Nice dress.”
I flush. The dress is part of my new wardrobe, courtesy of my incredibly rich boyfriend. It’s a sleeveless shift dress of pale blue linen, quite fitted, and I’m wearing cream high-heeled sandals. Christian likes heels, I think.
Ing: Right now her boss is so over the top evil that he might as well start singing disney villain songs while he twirls his moustache
“I have a friend coming in from out of town tonight, and we’re all going out for dinner.” And I’ll be busy every night, Jack.
“I see.” He sighs, exasperated. “Maybe when I’m back from New York, huh?” He raises his eyebrows in expectation, and his gaze darkens suggestively.
Oh no. I smile, noncommittal, stifling a shudder.
“Would you like some coffee or tea?” I ask.
“Coffee, please.” His voice is low and husky as if he’s asking for something else. Fuck.
Maya: So then Kate's brother Ethan shows up and of course he's gorgeous and perfect and she's going to take him to meet Christian to dinner but first they go to drop his stuff at her place where Leila is waiting with a gun and a ridiculously over the top and terrible impersonation of someone who is mentally ill
Ing: I feel like I'm watching a particularly ridiculous episode of The Bold and the Beautiful. And EL James really does not know how to portray mental illness. She makes Leila sound more like she's brain damaged in some way- unable to speak properly and understand words apparently. Which is just awkward, cause that's totally not what the point is here? The point is that she's supposed to have had a mental breakdown and a depression. Not that her brain has stopped functioning entirely
“What do you have that I don’t?” she asks, her voice assuming the singsong intonation of a child.
“What do you mean, Leila?” I ask as gently as I can.
“Master-Mr. Grey-he lets you call him by his given name.”
“I’m not his submissive, Leila. Er . . . Master understands that I am unable, inadequate to fulfill that role.”
She tilts her head to the other side. It’s wholly unnerving and unnatural as a gesture.
“In-ad-e-quate.” She tests the word, sounding it out, seeing how it feels on her tongue.
“But Master is happy. I have seen him. He laughs and smiles. These reactions are rare . . .
very rare for him.”
Oh.
Maya: What's even worse is Ana's reaction. So Christian shows up and starts asserting his authority over her. CLEARLY TRYING TO TALK DOWN THE WOMAN WITH THE GUN. AND ANA'S ALL "WELL CLEARLY HE LOVES HER NOW THEY SHOULD BE TOGETHER FOREVER.” WHAT. WHAT. WHAT
Christian’s intense gaze burns brighter, and his bearing changes subtly. He looks taller, more angular somehow, colder, and more distant. I recognize this stance. I’ve seen him like this before-in his playroom.
My scalp prickles anew. This is Dominant Christian, and how at ease he looks. Whether he was born to or made for this role, I just don’t know, but with a sinking heart and sickened stomach, I watch as Leila responds, her lips parting, her breathing picking up as the first flush of color stains her cheeks. No! It’s such an unwelcome glimpse into his past, agonizing to witness.
Ing: OMG ANY SANE PERSON WOULD BE LIKE... YES, PLEASE DO USE ANY MEANS NECESSARY TO GET THE GUN FROM HER THANKS. BUT ANA'S LIKE OH NO LOOK AT HIM BEING ALL DOMINANT OVER HER LOOK AT THEIR RELATIONSHIP OMG MY HEART, HE WANTS THAT, HE TOTALLY WANTS THAT. So Ana's focus is not A) getting the gun from the woman in her flat OR B) Christian helping said woman who is obviously ill and needs help. NO Ana's focus is OMG WHAT IF CHRISTIAN WANTS ME TO BE A SUB EVEN THOUGH HE'S TOLD ME 89 TIMES HE'S HAPPY WITH HOW THINGS ARE, OMG THIS IS TOTALLY WHAT I SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON RIGHT NOW LIKE AN EGOTISTICAL BITCH
Sorry, we need to quote all of this because we just can't:
I blink at him, and I’m suddenly unable to move. I don’t want to leave him-leave him with her. He moves to stand beside Leila as she kneels at his feet. He’s hovering over her, protectively. She’s so still, it’s unnatural. I can’t take my eyes off the two of them-
together . . .
“For the love of God, Anastasia, will you do as you’re told for once in your life and go!”
Christian’s eyes lock with mine as he glowers at me, his voice a blistering cold shard of ice.
The anger beneath the quiet, deliberate delivery of his words is palpable.
Angry at me? Surely not. Please-No! I feel like he’s slapped me hard. Why does he want to stay with her?
“Taylor. Take Miss Steele downstairs. Now.”
Taylor nods at him as I stare at Christian.
“Why?” I whisper.
“Go. Back to the apartment.” His eyes blaze frostily at me. “I need to be alone with Leila.” He says it urgently.
I think he’s trying to convey some kind of message, but I’m so thrown by all that’s happened that I’m not sure. I glance down at Leila and notice a very small smile cross her lips, but otherwise she remains truly impassive. A complete submissive. Fuck! My heart chills.
This is what he needs. This is what he likes. No! I want to wail.
“Miss Steele. Ana.” Taylor holds his hand out to me, imploring me to come. I am immobilized by the horrific spectacle before me. It confirms my worst fears and plays on all my insecurities: Christian and Leila together-the Dom and his sub.
“Taylor,” Christian urges, and Taylor leans down and scoops me into his arms. The last thing I see as we leave is Christian gently stroking Leila’s head as he murmurs something softly to her.
No!
As Taylor carries me down the stairs, I lie limply in his arms trying to grasp what’s happened in the last ten minutes-was it longer? Or shorter? The concept of time has deserted me.
Christian and Leila, Leila and Christian . . . together? What is he doing with her now?
Maya: Then Ana decides that the smart thing to do after her boyfriend's ex shows up with a gun is go out and get drunk with her best friend's brother, because that won't piss off her controlling boyfriend AT ALL, especially since he has no idea why she's pissed off
Ing: But all things considered, I think Christian could cut her some slack too. I mean, she did jsut spent an unnamed amount of minutes alone in the flat with the girl and a gun. I think getting drunk is allowed, tbh, but the stupid thing is that she's not even upset about the gun, she's upset about Christian because she's a fucking moron
Maya: Yeah, no, it's WHY she's getting drunk I don't understand. I mean, I get there had to be a Big Misunderstanding to bring about the ending of the chapter
Ing: God this is all so stupid
Maya: So she comes back drunk and Christian freaks out and she's all "YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME FOR HER SO LET'S BREAK UP I CAN NEVER SATISFY YOUR DOMINANCE" and he LOSES IT and gets on his knees and basically wraps his arms around her knees and gets all ~submissive~ and it is HILARIOUS
You can’t go. Ana, I love you!”
“I love you, too, Christian, it’s just-”
“No . . . no!” he says in desperation and puts both hands on his head.
“Christian . . .”
“No,” he breathes, his eyes wide with panic, and suddenly he drops to his knees in front of me, head bowed, long-fingered hands spread out on his thighs. He takes a deep breath and doesn’t move.
What? “Christian, what are you doing?”
Ing: Omg it's amazing. He like sits on his knees being a sub basically and she freaks out inside her head and is like OMG NO I CAN'T DOMINATE CHRISTIAN THAT'D BE WRONG AND GROSS, HE'S A POWERFUL MAN HE SHOULDN'T BE SUBMISSIVE AND WEAK. I'm like okay, lol you. I can't anymore
I inhale sharply with shock. No. No, this is wrong, so wrong and so disturbing.
“Christian, please, don’t do this. I don’t want this.”
[...]
Oh fuck. My poor Fifty. My heart squeezes and twists. What the hell have I done to him? Tears prick my eyes.
“Why are you doing this? Talk to me,” I whisper.
He blinks once.
“What would you like me to say?” he says softly, blandly, and for a moment I’m relieved that he’s talking, but not like this-no. No.
Tears begin to ooze down my cheeks, and suddenly it is too much to see him in the same prostrate position as the pathetic creature that was Leila. The image of a powerful man who’s really still a little boy, who was horrifically abused and neglected, who feels unworthy of love from his perfect family and his much-less-than perfect girlfriend . . . my lost boy . . . it’s heartbreaking.
Maya: FUCK YOU EL JAMES
Ing: Being DOMINANT or SUBMISSIVE is a SEXUAL FUCKING PREFERENCE, EL James, it actually has next to nothing to do with your personality outside of the bedroom.
Maya: AND GUESS WHAT. SOME MEN LIKE BEING SUBMISSIVE
Ing: GASP. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, YOU HEATHEN
Maya: I DON'T CARE IF IT DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR FUCKING "MEN DOMINATING WOMEN" WORLDVIEW. BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS SEXIST AND ANNOYING
Ing: It's fucking dumb. Like, being virginal and a girl? Does not automatically make you submissive. There are inexperienced people who know that they prefer being a Dom and some of these are OMFG NOT ~POWERFUL~ OR ~DOMINEERING~ in life in general because that's not how it fucking works