Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh
Job Related
1. An elderly couple walk into the museum and tell me that there's a play that will be happening tonight at the museum. I'm the special events coordinator. There is no play. When I explain this (nicely) they tell me I'm wrong because their friend at bowling said so. They left convinced that I was wrong. I sent them to the other museum.
2. "S" is a very, very elderly lady who volunteers and runs our genealogical library. She's awesome and amazing at life. She came up to us and asked if she might use the computer downstairs for a moment. When we told her that she could use any of our computers whenever she liked, she smiled, thanked us and then asked "Oh, but does it have the google?" We assured her that it did have "the google".
3. "S" also uses the skype to talk to her family in England. When S.R. was surprised that "S" used Skype, "S" simply said "But of course, how else would I debate what was going to happen in Harry Potter?" That's when I got a glimpse at what it means to be 80+ and a fangirl - and you know what? It's pretty freaking awesome.
4. We made these mugs at work for a special exhibit we have right now. A lady came in and bought a box of them. A full on box. Which is great, but we need to have enough to sell when we're at the fair this weekend. I think S.R. (who's incharge of our mugs) had a mini-heartattack when we told her.
5. Years and years ago, when I worked part-time in the grocery store there was one story that goes down in infamy. It's known as "The Crazy Chicken Lady Story." It was an early morning shift. There were only two cashiers working; Holly and myself. Holly was a nice sweet girl, and she was at the cash behind me. We were putting through costumers, and one of the guys was bagging for her. That's when it happened. This lady seemed okay at first. Her order was small. A few bags and some fresh chicken from the deli (one of those meal-to-go ones). The order gets processed, Holly says the total, and the lady goes to pay on Debit. Now, I'm not sure if she swiped it the wrong way, or if the strip simply didn't catch, but it didn't read her card. Holly instructed her to try again, and this lady flipped out. Suddenly she was screaming that we were stealing her money, she tried to pry the debit machine off the cash, she flung all her bags out of her gracery cart, and then started to lasso the meal-to-go chicken over her head. Flinging it aside, she then proceeded to run out of the store. Leaving four shell-shocked people in her wake (I had been in the midst of putting through a costumer when it happened).
6. While at the grocery store, I also had a bit of a hearing problem. It's actually a legit problem, I was deaf due to structural damage in my ear (aka I had no eardrums) until I was six, and since my surgery I've regained most of my hearing, but some situations make it impossible for me to hear things. Especially if there are a lot of mid-tone noises, I can't distinguish between them. As a cashier, I could not hear anyone who was not right in front of me, and then it was mostly from reading lips. So this woman is down at the end of my cash, and she asks where Brockville Street is. I give her directions leading her across town where the street is located. She stops, stares at me, and kind of clarifies, "Brockville street?" I nod, and offer to draw her up a map on the back of her receipt. Then there was this awkward pause. Due to my hearing, I'm very familiar with the awkward pause. I asked her to repeat her question. Leaning over, very loudly she said, "Where's the BA-LO-NEY?" Ends up she had been looking for the deli section in the store, and I had been giving her directions to across town. It was awkward.
7. My first job was working at Tim Horton's. I didn't realize the manual sugar thing, you needed to press down for a second to put the right amount of suger in the coffee. A lot of people were probably very upset with their sugar-less coffee.
8. When I was a telerecruiter for the Canadian Cancer Society, I got into a debate on the phone because the guy said he hated telemarketers because they are always after his money. I told him I was actually just calling to find volunteers. He wouldn't believe me and we had a ten minute philosophical debate about the difference between telerecruiting and telemarketing.
9. My last summer working at the Provincial Park, we played a massive trick on one of the Wardens. C (who's the head warden) hid a set of keys for one of the warden cars weeks in advance. So on the night of the prank D thought he had the only set for the vehicle he was driving. He was just finishing his rounds, around 11pm, and he did his final stop at the Day Beach. The Day Beach was far away from any camper or sign of civilization. He didn't know that about twenty of us were hiding in the bushes and snapping sticks deep in the forest as he walked along the path from the parking lot to the actual beach. Once he was at the beach, a group of us went with the second key, put the car in neutral and pushed it into the forest, covering it with bush. Then one of the girls screamed, causing D to run back to the parking lot, just to find his car had vanished. He wasn't that amused, but was a good sport when everyone piled out of the forest. After all, he had been behind the disappearing chairs, the upside down office and cereal box door incidents.
1. An elderly couple walk into the museum and tell me that there's a play that will be happening tonight at the museum. I'm the special events coordinator. There is no play. When I explain this (nicely) they tell me I'm wrong because their friend at bowling said so. They left convinced that I was wrong. I sent them to the other museum.
2. "S" is a very, very elderly lady who volunteers and runs our genealogical library. She's awesome and amazing at life. She came up to us and asked if she might use the computer downstairs for a moment. When we told her that she could use any of our computers whenever she liked, she smiled, thanked us and then asked "Oh, but does it have the google?" We assured her that it did have "the google".
3. "S" also uses the skype to talk to her family in England. When S.R. was surprised that "S" used Skype, "S" simply said "But of course, how else would I debate what was going to happen in Harry Potter?" That's when I got a glimpse at what it means to be 80+ and a fangirl - and you know what? It's pretty freaking awesome.
4. We made these mugs at work for a special exhibit we have right now. A lady came in and bought a box of them. A full on box. Which is great, but we need to have enough to sell when we're at the fair this weekend. I think S.R. (who's incharge of our mugs) had a mini-heartattack when we told her.
5. Years and years ago, when I worked part-time in the grocery store there was one story that goes down in infamy. It's known as "The Crazy Chicken Lady Story." It was an early morning shift. There were only two cashiers working; Holly and myself. Holly was a nice sweet girl, and she was at the cash behind me. We were putting through costumers, and one of the guys was bagging for her. That's when it happened. This lady seemed okay at first. Her order was small. A few bags and some fresh chicken from the deli (one of those meal-to-go ones). The order gets processed, Holly says the total, and the lady goes to pay on Debit. Now, I'm not sure if she swiped it the wrong way, or if the strip simply didn't catch, but it didn't read her card. Holly instructed her to try again, and this lady flipped out. Suddenly she was screaming that we were stealing her money, she tried to pry the debit machine off the cash, she flung all her bags out of her gracery cart, and then started to lasso the meal-to-go chicken over her head. Flinging it aside, she then proceeded to run out of the store. Leaving four shell-shocked people in her wake (I had been in the midst of putting through a costumer when it happened).
6. While at the grocery store, I also had a bit of a hearing problem. It's actually a legit problem, I was deaf due to structural damage in my ear (aka I had no eardrums) until I was six, and since my surgery I've regained most of my hearing, but some situations make it impossible for me to hear things. Especially if there are a lot of mid-tone noises, I can't distinguish between them. As a cashier, I could not hear anyone who was not right in front of me, and then it was mostly from reading lips. So this woman is down at the end of my cash, and she asks where Brockville Street is. I give her directions leading her across town where the street is located. She stops, stares at me, and kind of clarifies, "Brockville street?" I nod, and offer to draw her up a map on the back of her receipt. Then there was this awkward pause. Due to my hearing, I'm very familiar with the awkward pause. I asked her to repeat her question. Leaning over, very loudly she said, "Where's the BA-LO-NEY?" Ends up she had been looking for the deli section in the store, and I had been giving her directions to across town. It was awkward.
7. My first job was working at Tim Horton's. I didn't realize the manual sugar thing, you needed to press down for a second to put the right amount of suger in the coffee. A lot of people were probably very upset with their sugar-less coffee.
8. When I was a telerecruiter for the Canadian Cancer Society, I got into a debate on the phone because the guy said he hated telemarketers because they are always after his money. I told him I was actually just calling to find volunteers. He wouldn't believe me and we had a ten minute philosophical debate about the difference between telerecruiting and telemarketing.
9. My last summer working at the Provincial Park, we played a massive trick on one of the Wardens. C (who's the head warden) hid a set of keys for one of the warden cars weeks in advance. So on the night of the prank D thought he had the only set for the vehicle he was driving. He was just finishing his rounds, around 11pm, and he did his final stop at the Day Beach. The Day Beach was far away from any camper or sign of civilization. He didn't know that about twenty of us were hiding in the bushes and snapping sticks deep in the forest as he walked along the path from the parking lot to the actual beach. Once he was at the beach, a group of us went with the second key, put the car in neutral and pushed it into the forest, covering it with bush. Then one of the girls screamed, causing D to run back to the parking lot, just to find his car had vanished. He wasn't that amused, but was a good sport when everyone piled out of the forest. After all, he had been behind the disappearing chairs, the upside down office and cereal box door incidents.