[fic] My Best Friend's Boyfriend - Chapter 18
Chapter 18: Paper boats
It has been a week since Yunho and Jaejoong are back to Seoul. They thought before that if they will be back to Seoul life would be back to normal. Yunho would go to his meetings and Jaejoong would wait for him during dinners. They thought that when they go back to Seoul, they will be spending a lot of movie watching on the living room enjoying each other’s company. Life in Seoul is incomparable to the life they had in Gwangju. Nonetheless, as long as they have each other, they manage to make busy Seoul a good place to live in.
But nothing of what they thought happened. After that night, Jaejoong and Yunho did not say a word with each other. They still slept on the same bed with Yunho staring at Jaejoong’s back. When you finish making love, you tend to hold the person in your arms right? You tend to keep him close. But not for Yunho and Jaejoong. That night they were nothing but physically beside each other, but Yunho thought Jaejoong is too far away.
If only Yunho knows how guilty Jaejoong is.
Jaejoong left the mansion first thing in the morning. The Jung couple did not question it. Something must have happened. Though they insisted to send Jaejoong by the car, Jaejoong said he’ll be taking the train. He doesn’t want to be found out. He doesn’t want to be chased. He doesn’t want to do anything more with Yunho. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed four months with Yunho but the longer he stays with the man, the bigger the mess they might make.
Knock. Knock.
“Come in.” Yunho said as he sat down to his chair.
“Good morning Mr. Jung.” Seulgi said. “You called out to me?”
“Yes. I was looking for the rest of the papers I asked you to make before I leave for my vacation. I was expecting them on my desk now but I seem to lose it. Where did you put it?” Yunho asked.
“Uhm… I wasn’t done with it. Well, you see… something came up… and…” Seulgi said stuttering.
Yunho looked at her disappointedly and sighed. “Get it done before the end of the day. One month is very long for three papers. And you have never failed me before. I want it before I leave. Okay?”
“Uhmm… but Yunho…. I mean, Mr. Jung.”
“What?”
“Well, you see… something came up and I had problems. Could you give me until the end of the week to finish the reports? I’m sorry. It’s just that a lot of personal thing kept coming and I lost track of my job.”
Yunho sighed. “Fine. End of the week. Morning, it should be in my desk.” Seulgi smiled, lucky her lies went pass through. “By the way, call Mr. Park and set me an appointment with him on Friday.”
“For what?”
“Black market.” Yunho said looking at some of the files that Mr. Park faxed him with regards to the black market.
Seulgi bowed to her boss and left the room immediately. She was clutching her phone when she wasn’t able to reach Jaejoong’s phone. Lower employees ask permission from their head department if they will be spending a vacation and Seulgi wasn’t informed of it. Jaejoong was the one who has been making all the successful reports of Yunho’s company. Seulgi wouldn’t let that ruin the image she is building in front of Yunho.
Once back from her desk, Yunho rang her phone and asked her to bring the complete list of his whole employees stating that he needed to look through everyone of them since Changmin is not back yet. It is usually Changmin to do this work and this is done every other month to keep the progress of the company and to make sure the records of each employees are good.
This is all what Yunho could do now. He hasn’t been in touch with Jaejoong for so long now and he doesn’t know how either. If he was only given a chance to know where Jaejoong is now, he will definitely convince him to go back. This is their mess and Yunho would want to clean it up together with Jaejoong. He wants to take responsibility. If there is someone to be hated by the victim, Changmin, it is no other than him and not Jaejoong.
Although Yunho knew he lived his life almost alone everyday and he did pretty good surviving, this time it felt completely different. He lacks appreciating things around him. He walks like a dead man. He tries his best to think about work but completely get lazy over it. He was worse than before. And all he wanted now is the one person who constantly tell him how ridiculously ugly he looks, and will then fix him for him. Why is it that sometimes, the world seems to be so empty… when in fact there is only one person missing?
Yunho has come to think of it. Maybe in the tiniest bit of Jaejoong, there is a room for him. if there isn’t, that night will not happen. They had sex like they were actually two people in love. They had sex like they are hungry for each other’s touch. So maybe (Yunho wanted to believe) Jaejoong has feelings for him too. And if Jaejoong does have, this complicated thing will be even more complicated. This could be the worst feeling: knowing full well how crazily in love you are with someone, and how much that person might love you back, how much perfect you look with each other, for gazillions of unsaid reasons, you two can’t just be together. Damn love.
“Feeling better?” Ye Eun said as she smiled at her cousin who is moving around the small kitchen.
“Not much but I’m holding up.” Jaejoong said as he put down the breakfast on the table.
“Thanks. It is after all good to have you here. I mean, someone will cook for me from now.” She giggled. “Sorry you have to put up to this kind of place. It’s really small.”
“I expected it from you. Next week, I’ll start looking for a place to live in.”
“Don’t you want to talk about it with Yunho?”
“There nothing to talk about.”
“Well, at least make things clear.”
“I don’t love him.” Jaejoong spat out. “I really don’t.” Somehow it doesn’t feel right when he said those words.
“The brain doesn’t make the same judgments that only the heart could make, oppa.” Ye Eun said. “Sort things out with him if you can.”
Ye Eun left for work. Before leaving, she joked about wishing to still find Jaejoong alive when she gets back. No matter how big this problem is, she wanted her cousin to stay strong. When her boyfriend died, it was from Jaejoong that she got her strength from. And now, though she knew she is weak when it comes to love, she still wanted to be Jaejoong’s source of strength. For some reason, she thought Jaejoong must have left himself in Gwangju.
The night before, Jaejoong told Ye Eun everything that happened in Gwangju. Although Jaejoong’s voice is still weak and sad, he speaks of the events as if it was the happiest memories he has. His faint smile is sincere, and the tone of his voice is calm. If Jaejoong doesn’t like Yunho, he wouldn’t speak of those sweet things he has done with Yunho in Gwangju. He wouldn’t even bother remembering them. Yunho’s scent when they go to bed. Yunho smiles when hey eat with the family. Yunho’s laughs when they spend time together. The paper boats. The sunflowers. The baby. The family. The picnic. And back to the night. Everything in Gwangju is… worth treasuring. But Jaejoong has left to find that one out.
In Gwangju… that one week there, Jaejoong though everything is just about himself and Yunho. Even I personally agreed to this. Never did I mention anything about their life in Seoul. Not a moment of Yoochun and Junsu. Not a fight between Yoochun and Ye Eun. Not a call from Changmin and Seulgi. Nothing. It was only about Yunho and Jaejoong. How Jaejoong enjoys the vacation and how Yunho made him happy. Gwangju was their fantasy land. And in Gwangju, nothing else mattered but themselves.
Yunho quickly got out of his chair and rushed to meet a surprised secretary outside his office. He was scanning through the records of his employee when this particular picture stopped his tracks. Raven hair, big brown eyes, white skin, and fierce yet beautiful face. It is Kim Jaejoong.
“Where is this person’s biodata?”
“Eh?” Seulgi asked.
“I need to know something about him. Give me his information.” Yunho said.
“I’m sorry sir but Mr. Shim is the one in charge of those. I don’t know where he put them.”
“Aish! Then do you know anything about this person?”
“What’s all the worry about?”
“I asked you a question and if you don’t want to pack your things and leave my company, then answer me!”
“Jesus, I don’t know! He’s just an employee and it’s not my job to be nosy about their information. Will you calm down?” Seulgi shouted back.
“That’s the least thing I could do.” Yunho said grabbing his coat and car keys and left his angry secretary standing there.
He doesn’t know Jaejoong works in his company. Of course he wouldn’t. He didn’t care knowing a lot about Jaejoong. He just waited for the facts to come to him. But this time, he badly wants to know everything. Only that there is no one else to tell him. Jaejoong left him.
However, despite the hopelessness Yunho suffered in the week that he lost Jaejoong, he still badly wanted to get him back. At least for the time before he formally hands Jaejoong back to the person who truly owns him. Rushing to the department where Jaejoong is, Yunho searched for every person who might know anything else about Jaejoong. His family and all those things but almost everyone of them says they knew Jaejoong not to the point of knowing his background. When Yunho thought he has one chance of getting hold of Jaejoong, he then again lost it.
“Good afternoon Mr. Jung.” Heechul greeted him.
Yunho just nodded and loosen his tie. For some reasons, he felt like he wasn’t able to breathe. It must be true that he will die if he loses Jaejoong.
“Oh, Jaejoong-ssi wouldn’t want to see you disorganize again.” Heechul grinned remembering fully how Jaejoong talks to him about how he is so pissed that Yunho just wouldn’t learn how to look presentable.
Jaejoong. Jaejoong. Somehow that name ring on Yunho’s head. The very person he was almost to give up on. “You know Jaejoong?”
“Yes.” Heechul said. “We work on the same department.”
“Do you know any thing that might keep in contact with him?”
“Why? Is he missing?”
“Well… sort of.” Yunho said. “So, can you tell me where he might go? Like brothers or any relative?”
Heechul shifted his head sideways and thought of anything he knew about Jaejoong. “Ah! Junsu. I can bring you to him. Do we have to go now?”
Yunho once again had his hopes high. He immediately drags Heechul towards his car and sped somewhere in Seoul to where Jaejoong might be. MIGHT. Who knows where he is.
Ye Eun, if ever you come home a little early, I will be late. Need to take some of my things from his flat and look for a place too. Heat up the food in the fridge if you need to eat something.
-Jae-oppa
Jaejoong made sure everything in Ye Eun’s house is fixed. He knew Ye Eun just like Junsu likes to have a small house that could only fit themselves. However, they are both a total failure keeping their things organized. Jaejoong has nothing to do when Ye Eun left for work so he arranged everything and wrote a note saying where the things are and posted it on the wall. He enjoys arranging his things and he just couldn’t stop that habit. However, one thing he forgot to arrange was his life… after Yunho.
Jaejoong arrived at Yunho’s flat late that afternoon. He knew Yunho would be home before nine so he has plenty of time to take. He found a place to live in for a while. Just as expected, the flat is horrible. The sheets are all over the floor and random magazines are trashed everywhere. Jaejoong sighed and tried to pick up the things. When he was clearing the living room, he found Yunho’s organizer lying open on the couch. He picked it up and was about to close it when he saw his name.
7:00 - wake up. Jaejoong should be preparing breakfast now, (and in red ink) pretend Jaejoong is cooking.
9:00 - off to work. don’t forget lunch or you’ll hear Jaejoong screaming on you phone.
3:00 - off to work. and go home. LOOK FOR JAEJOONG AND DON’T COME HOME WITHOUT HIM.
Jaejoong palmed his mouth and stared at all the pages of the organizer. Everything that is already set before they left for Gwangju has been scratched out and replaced with red ink. Yunho is spending his free time looking for him. He couldn’t help but be happy and yet he knew he should stop this silliness. In fear of finding out more things that might hold him back of leaving.
He left the trashed items on the floor and carried his whole body on his former room. He walked pass Yunho’s and saw it open. Unconsciously, he rested his body on the soft bed. Sniffing the scent that he will leave now. Running his fingers on the blanket, he felt something unusual. He looked under the blanket and saw what really shocked him.
Paper boats.
They were little yet very well folded. All of them occupy the whole bed. One by one Jaejoong picked it up and that very moment he felt how much of a kid Yunho is. Also, he felt how much his heart swells and how he really wants to hug Yunho that time. This is the worst feeling he could feel. He is mad. So mad at Yunho that he wanted to punch him straight to the face.
He left Yunho’s room and went to his. As soon as the door clicked open, Jaejoong felt like bursting into tears. One the floor of his room were more paper boats of different colors. They were carefully laid. On his bed were sunflowers disarranged but still looked beautiful. Yunho has spent his hopeless nights doing all this. In hope that when Jaejoong comes home to him, he will show the man how much he feels for him. How serious he is that he loves the Jaejong. Jaejoong could imagine the sight of Yunho going to his room just to do this. He could feel how much Yunho… values him.
And that made him hate Yunho more.
“Jaejoong?” a voice disturbed his tracks. A familiar voice he doesn’t want to hear. Jaejoong doesn’t want to turn around. He doesn’t want to see this man he hates the most. He doesn’t want this man to see him like this. With heart swelling… and with face scrunching up, crying tears of nothing but… hatred. And do you know what really made his heart ache so bad? It’s because he knew well what he is feeling, but there is something holding him back to feel it. What’s really hard is when he wanted to express what he really feels; all he could or must do is to shut up.
It has been a week since Yunho and Jaejoong are back to Seoul. They thought before that if they will be back to Seoul life would be back to normal. Yunho would go to his meetings and Jaejoong would wait for him during dinners. They thought that when they go back to Seoul, they will be spending a lot of movie watching on the living room enjoying each other’s company. Life in Seoul is incomparable to the life they had in Gwangju. Nonetheless, as long as they have each other, they manage to make busy Seoul a good place to live in.
But nothing of what they thought happened. After that night, Jaejoong and Yunho did not say a word with each other. They still slept on the same bed with Yunho staring at Jaejoong’s back. When you finish making love, you tend to hold the person in your arms right? You tend to keep him close. But not for Yunho and Jaejoong. That night they were nothing but physically beside each other, but Yunho thought Jaejoong is too far away.
If only Yunho knows how guilty Jaejoong is.
Jaejoong left the mansion first thing in the morning. The Jung couple did not question it. Something must have happened. Though they insisted to send Jaejoong by the car, Jaejoong said he’ll be taking the train. He doesn’t want to be found out. He doesn’t want to be chased. He doesn’t want to do anything more with Yunho. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed four months with Yunho but the longer he stays with the man, the bigger the mess they might make.
Knock. Knock.
“Come in.” Yunho said as he sat down to his chair.
“Good morning Mr. Jung.” Seulgi said. “You called out to me?”
“Yes. I was looking for the rest of the papers I asked you to make before I leave for my vacation. I was expecting them on my desk now but I seem to lose it. Where did you put it?” Yunho asked.
“Uhm… I wasn’t done with it. Well, you see… something came up… and…” Seulgi said stuttering.
Yunho looked at her disappointedly and sighed. “Get it done before the end of the day. One month is very long for three papers. And you have never failed me before. I want it before I leave. Okay?”
“Uhmm… but Yunho…. I mean, Mr. Jung.”
“What?”
“Well, you see… something came up and I had problems. Could you give me until the end of the week to finish the reports? I’m sorry. It’s just that a lot of personal thing kept coming and I lost track of my job.”
Yunho sighed. “Fine. End of the week. Morning, it should be in my desk.” Seulgi smiled, lucky her lies went pass through. “By the way, call Mr. Park and set me an appointment with him on Friday.”
“For what?”
“Black market.” Yunho said looking at some of the files that Mr. Park faxed him with regards to the black market.
Seulgi bowed to her boss and left the room immediately. She was clutching her phone when she wasn’t able to reach Jaejoong’s phone. Lower employees ask permission from their head department if they will be spending a vacation and Seulgi wasn’t informed of it. Jaejoong was the one who has been making all the successful reports of Yunho’s company. Seulgi wouldn’t let that ruin the image she is building in front of Yunho.
Once back from her desk, Yunho rang her phone and asked her to bring the complete list of his whole employees stating that he needed to look through everyone of them since Changmin is not back yet. It is usually Changmin to do this work and this is done every other month to keep the progress of the company and to make sure the records of each employees are good.
This is all what Yunho could do now. He hasn’t been in touch with Jaejoong for so long now and he doesn’t know how either. If he was only given a chance to know where Jaejoong is now, he will definitely convince him to go back. This is their mess and Yunho would want to clean it up together with Jaejoong. He wants to take responsibility. If there is someone to be hated by the victim, Changmin, it is no other than him and not Jaejoong.
Although Yunho knew he lived his life almost alone everyday and he did pretty good surviving, this time it felt completely different. He lacks appreciating things around him. He walks like a dead man. He tries his best to think about work but completely get lazy over it. He was worse than before. And all he wanted now is the one person who constantly tell him how ridiculously ugly he looks, and will then fix him for him. Why is it that sometimes, the world seems to be so empty… when in fact there is only one person missing?
Yunho has come to think of it. Maybe in the tiniest bit of Jaejoong, there is a room for him. if there isn’t, that night will not happen. They had sex like they were actually two people in love. They had sex like they are hungry for each other’s touch. So maybe (Yunho wanted to believe) Jaejoong has feelings for him too. And if Jaejoong does have, this complicated thing will be even more complicated. This could be the worst feeling: knowing full well how crazily in love you are with someone, and how much that person might love you back, how much perfect you look with each other, for gazillions of unsaid reasons, you two can’t just be together. Damn love.
“Feeling better?” Ye Eun said as she smiled at her cousin who is moving around the small kitchen.
“Not much but I’m holding up.” Jaejoong said as he put down the breakfast on the table.
“Thanks. It is after all good to have you here. I mean, someone will cook for me from now.” She giggled. “Sorry you have to put up to this kind of place. It’s really small.”
“I expected it from you. Next week, I’ll start looking for a place to live in.”
“Don’t you want to talk about it with Yunho?”
“There nothing to talk about.”
“Well, at least make things clear.”
“I don’t love him.” Jaejoong spat out. “I really don’t.” Somehow it doesn’t feel right when he said those words.
“The brain doesn’t make the same judgments that only the heart could make, oppa.” Ye Eun said. “Sort things out with him if you can.”
Ye Eun left for work. Before leaving, she joked about wishing to still find Jaejoong alive when she gets back. No matter how big this problem is, she wanted her cousin to stay strong. When her boyfriend died, it was from Jaejoong that she got her strength from. And now, though she knew she is weak when it comes to love, she still wanted to be Jaejoong’s source of strength. For some reason, she thought Jaejoong must have left himself in Gwangju.
The night before, Jaejoong told Ye Eun everything that happened in Gwangju. Although Jaejoong’s voice is still weak and sad, he speaks of the events as if it was the happiest memories he has. His faint smile is sincere, and the tone of his voice is calm. If Jaejoong doesn’t like Yunho, he wouldn’t speak of those sweet things he has done with Yunho in Gwangju. He wouldn’t even bother remembering them. Yunho’s scent when they go to bed. Yunho smiles when hey eat with the family. Yunho’s laughs when they spend time together. The paper boats. The sunflowers. The baby. The family. The picnic. And back to the night. Everything in Gwangju is… worth treasuring. But Jaejoong has left to find that one out.
In Gwangju… that one week there, Jaejoong though everything is just about himself and Yunho. Even I personally agreed to this. Never did I mention anything about their life in Seoul. Not a moment of Yoochun and Junsu. Not a fight between Yoochun and Ye Eun. Not a call from Changmin and Seulgi. Nothing. It was only about Yunho and Jaejoong. How Jaejoong enjoys the vacation and how Yunho made him happy. Gwangju was their fantasy land. And in Gwangju, nothing else mattered but themselves.
Yunho quickly got out of his chair and rushed to meet a surprised secretary outside his office. He was scanning through the records of his employee when this particular picture stopped his tracks. Raven hair, big brown eyes, white skin, and fierce yet beautiful face. It is Kim Jaejoong.
“Where is this person’s biodata?”
“Eh?” Seulgi asked.
“I need to know something about him. Give me his information.” Yunho said.
“I’m sorry sir but Mr. Shim is the one in charge of those. I don’t know where he put them.”
“Aish! Then do you know anything about this person?”
“What’s all the worry about?”
“I asked you a question and if you don’t want to pack your things and leave my company, then answer me!”
“Jesus, I don’t know! He’s just an employee and it’s not my job to be nosy about their information. Will you calm down?” Seulgi shouted back.
“That’s the least thing I could do.” Yunho said grabbing his coat and car keys and left his angry secretary standing there.
He doesn’t know Jaejoong works in his company. Of course he wouldn’t. He didn’t care knowing a lot about Jaejoong. He just waited for the facts to come to him. But this time, he badly wants to know everything. Only that there is no one else to tell him. Jaejoong left him.
However, despite the hopelessness Yunho suffered in the week that he lost Jaejoong, he still badly wanted to get him back. At least for the time before he formally hands Jaejoong back to the person who truly owns him. Rushing to the department where Jaejoong is, Yunho searched for every person who might know anything else about Jaejoong. His family and all those things but almost everyone of them says they knew Jaejoong not to the point of knowing his background. When Yunho thought he has one chance of getting hold of Jaejoong, he then again lost it.
“Good afternoon Mr. Jung.” Heechul greeted him.
Yunho just nodded and loosen his tie. For some reasons, he felt like he wasn’t able to breathe. It must be true that he will die if he loses Jaejoong.
“Oh, Jaejoong-ssi wouldn’t want to see you disorganize again.” Heechul grinned remembering fully how Jaejoong talks to him about how he is so pissed that Yunho just wouldn’t learn how to look presentable.
Jaejoong. Jaejoong. Somehow that name ring on Yunho’s head. The very person he was almost to give up on. “You know Jaejoong?”
“Yes.” Heechul said. “We work on the same department.”
“Do you know any thing that might keep in contact with him?”
“Why? Is he missing?”
“Well… sort of.” Yunho said. “So, can you tell me where he might go? Like brothers or any relative?”
Heechul shifted his head sideways and thought of anything he knew about Jaejoong. “Ah! Junsu. I can bring you to him. Do we have to go now?”
Yunho once again had his hopes high. He immediately drags Heechul towards his car and sped somewhere in Seoul to where Jaejoong might be. MIGHT. Who knows where he is.
Ye Eun, if ever you come home a little early, I will be late. Need to take some of my things from his flat and look for a place too. Heat up the food in the fridge if you need to eat something.
-Jae-oppa
Jaejoong made sure everything in Ye Eun’s house is fixed. He knew Ye Eun just like Junsu likes to have a small house that could only fit themselves. However, they are both a total failure keeping their things organized. Jaejoong has nothing to do when Ye Eun left for work so he arranged everything and wrote a note saying where the things are and posted it on the wall. He enjoys arranging his things and he just couldn’t stop that habit. However, one thing he forgot to arrange was his life… after Yunho.
Jaejoong arrived at Yunho’s flat late that afternoon. He knew Yunho would be home before nine so he has plenty of time to take. He found a place to live in for a while. Just as expected, the flat is horrible. The sheets are all over the floor and random magazines are trashed everywhere. Jaejoong sighed and tried to pick up the things. When he was clearing the living room, he found Yunho’s organizer lying open on the couch. He picked it up and was about to close it when he saw his name.
7:00 - wake up. Jaejoong should be preparing breakfast now, (and in red ink) pretend Jaejoong is cooking.
9:00 - off to work. don’t forget lunch or you’ll hear Jaejoong screaming on you phone.
3:00 - off to work. and go home. LOOK FOR JAEJOONG AND DON’T COME HOME WITHOUT HIM.
Jaejoong palmed his mouth and stared at all the pages of the organizer. Everything that is already set before they left for Gwangju has been scratched out and replaced with red ink. Yunho is spending his free time looking for him. He couldn’t help but be happy and yet he knew he should stop this silliness. In fear of finding out more things that might hold him back of leaving.
He left the trashed items on the floor and carried his whole body on his former room. He walked pass Yunho’s and saw it open. Unconsciously, he rested his body on the soft bed. Sniffing the scent that he will leave now. Running his fingers on the blanket, he felt something unusual. He looked under the blanket and saw what really shocked him.
Paper boats.
They were little yet very well folded. All of them occupy the whole bed. One by one Jaejoong picked it up and that very moment he felt how much of a kid Yunho is. Also, he felt how much his heart swells and how he really wants to hug Yunho that time. This is the worst feeling he could feel. He is mad. So mad at Yunho that he wanted to punch him straight to the face.
He left Yunho’s room and went to his. As soon as the door clicked open, Jaejoong felt like bursting into tears. One the floor of his room were more paper boats of different colors. They were carefully laid. On his bed were sunflowers disarranged but still looked beautiful. Yunho has spent his hopeless nights doing all this. In hope that when Jaejoong comes home to him, he will show the man how much he feels for him. How serious he is that he loves the Jaejong. Jaejoong could imagine the sight of Yunho going to his room just to do this. He could feel how much Yunho… values him.
And that made him hate Yunho more.
“Jaejoong?” a voice disturbed his tracks. A familiar voice he doesn’t want to hear. Jaejoong doesn’t want to turn around. He doesn’t want to see this man he hates the most. He doesn’t want this man to see him like this. With heart swelling… and with face scrunching up, crying tears of nothing but… hatred. And do you know what really made his heart ache so bad? It’s because he knew well what he is feeling, but there is something holding him back to feel it. What’s really hard is when he wanted to express what he really feels; all he could or must do is to shut up.