[fic] My Best Friend's Boyfriend - chapter 17

[o0kamiyani0o]

Chapter 17: Unforgiven Apologies

DING DONG

This shouldn’t be happening. It’s been a couple of hours since I left the mansion already. Since that happened. But why does my heart keep pounding this bad? Like any moment from now, it’s going to break. However I think this is not my heart that is feeling a tinge of feeling incomparable to hurt 9or to any feeling that might cause my heart to break). It’s probably my brain thinking that way. That must be it. It was a long train back to Seoul. I should’ve gotten over it for a while, right? I should be thrilled to be back home, right? But why? Why am I feeling so bad right now? Why… do I feel weird?

DING DONG

I shouldn’t blame him. It was partly my fault too. I gave in. The heck. Why did I even give in? It’s not that I like him. Well, I actually grew… attached to him. I have watched his hard work. I have watched him smile. I have watched him as a friend, a member of the family… I have practically watched him long enough to tell myself that it’s actually not that very hard to like him. But I can’t. He’s an incredible person, I must say. However… I am in no position to like him more than someone else.

DING DONG

I couldn’t lie to myself. Whatever happened, I could say that I… liked it. And I’m such a dirty cheater.

DING DONG

“Will you please cut it out? I’ve already said I am coming. You don’t have to press the damn-“ Ye Eun said as she faced her visitor with an ugly scowl painted across her face. “Oppa?” She said as her heart felt like it was gripped tight.

There on her doorway, she saw her cousin standing as if his life was taken out of him. Jaejoong… doesn’t look like himself at all.

“I’m leaving.” Yunho said as he got onto his car. Gladly their chauffeur took it from where Yunho left it when he and Jaejoong were on their way to Gwangju.

“Take care.” Mrs. Jung said.

“Yunho.” Mr. Jung called. “Think about it very carefully.”

“I will, dad. I have actually thought of how I will handle this.” Yunho said.

“You’ll be fine. The reactions might not be something you would like. But I am sure, you’ll do just fine. Yunho… you have disappointed us too. However, we do understand that you just happen to not hold it anymore. Jaejoong is someone who is very easy to fall in love, either.” Mrs. Jung said as she caressed her son’s hand.

“I’ll call when I reach Seoul.” Yunho said kissing his mother’s forehead.

He has to deal with things all by himself. It was his fault actually. This is one of the things Yunho hates to happen in his life. Complications. That is why he has never wanted anything to do with complicated things. It just so happens that he knew Jaejoong is going to make his life complicated even from the start, but he still chose to say yes. That time in the elevator, he knew Jaejoong is someone that will definitely bring something complicated in his life. So it would be better if he doesn’t meet that person again. However, inevitable things happen. And people just can’t say no easily to temptation. His temptation began… when Changmin called him to do a favor.

Would it be possible to blame Changmin too? He’s got a gorgeous boyfriend who will make a lot of people fall head over heels on him, and yet he just left him carefree to the fangs of someone else? No! Changmin is not someone to blame here. He did that because he trusts Yunho too well. Who wouldn’t when they know practically everything about the other? Changmin knew Yunho too well that he is sure he could trust Yunho. And Yunho thought he could hold that trust forever but Jaejoong came and as much as he doesn’t want things to change, they did. All in all, it was Jaejoong’s fault. His kindness. His beauty. Him.

“Here’s a cup of coffee. Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming so I did not make any preparations.” Ye Eun said as she placed the coffee at the coffee table. “What brings you here?”

Jaejoong smiled at her. “I just wanted to spend some days with you.”

“EH?” Ye Eun said looking around her house. “This house is very good only for one person. And to think that you don’t want messy things.”

“It’s okay. Just for a couple of days until I find some place to go to.” Again, there was a smile on his face.

“What about Yunho’s place?” Ye Eun asked.

“I need to move out of there.” Jaejoong said picking up the cup of coffee. but when he was halfway to drinking it, it slipped out of his energy-less hands and spilled all over his lap. It should be hot. But Jaejoong did not feel the pain.

“OMO!” Ye Eun said grabbing a towel and wiping her cousin’s legs. “You really should be very careful. The cream flesh I envy on you! Aish!” She said joking around just to make the mood less gloomy.
Tell me what happened. I’ll try to help.”

“There’s nothing you could do actually. It all depends on my decision.”

Ye Eun stopped wiping here cousin’s leg and sat on the coffee table in front of him. “Spill it.”

“Jun~~~su~~~” Yoochun said as he waved on his ‘boyfriend’. IT was their regular routine since a month ago that Junsu would be fetched by Yoochun’s flashy car every day after soccer practice.

“YAH! Stop whining out my name.” Junsu said as he stood beside Yoochun’s car.

“Get in.” Yoochun grinned widely.

Junsu got inside the car. Before, it would be awkward to even hug Yoochun since he was too shy to actually have himself a gorgeous boyfriend but now, soon as Junsu got inside the car, before he even closed the door, he kissed Yoochun’s cheek. This is some of the few ways they express their love. Junsu might not say he loves Yoochun. But his actions prove more than enough.

Starting up the engine, Yoochun steal some glance from his boyfriend and grinned like an idiot. “What are you grinning there for?” Junsu spat.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me!”

“Well, tell me first how school was.”

“Uhmm… nothing normal. The highlight is soccer.” There he goes again bragging about how he got into the competition he badly wants to attend. Even though it sounds annoying sometimes since Junsu would tell things over and over again, Yoochun doesn’t get tired. He likes it every time Junsu talks. His voice and his smiling face always make his day.

“Oh, I’m glad. I was worried the whole day.” Yoochun said as he stopped the car when the red light is on.

“hmm?” Junsu said looking at him cluelessly.

Yoochun smirked and his pimp hands made its way from the steering wheel to the thighs of the human form on the passenger seat. “Your cries last night when we did it. I thought you won’t be able to play soccer.”

Junsu blushed tomato red and slapped his boyfriend’s hands. However, he did not push it off. It was those hands that caress him gently. And it was his hands that Junsu wants to hold forever. This little bits of affection was enough for them to prove they love each other. “Bastard!” he said hiding away his smiling face. “If I know, you spend the whole day flirting around.”

“YAH! Do you think I cheat on you?” Yoochun spat out.

“Yes.” Junsu bluntly said with the straight face.

“How did you know?” Yoochun said putting up an innocent face.

“YAH! Seriously.”

“I wouldn’t cheat on you okay? I love you tooooooooo much to do that.” Yoochun said as he leaned to kiss his boyfriend’s lips.

“You know what, I am happy we’ve been together quite long now. We fought a lot and look at us now.”

“Because you couldn’t handle being away from my body… oops… that did not came out right.” Yoochun giggled at the sight of his made boyfriend. “Because we truly love each other. And I truly love you.”

Junsu looked out of the window still with his hands holding on to Yoochun. He couldn’t picture out his love life if it doesn’t include Yoochun. He might not say the same thing to the other man but he is sure if Yoochun would be away from him he’d die. Junsu knew too well that the scariest part in being loved by someone is the uncertainty that they may stop anytime.

Would that be the same with Jaejoong? Did he stop loving Changmin who did not thought of ever stop loving him?

"AISH! oppa!" Ye Eun said as she grabbed her cousin to sit back at the couch. "Have you grown backwards? You should dry your hair too, you know." She said as she started drying the older man's hair.

Ye Eun has never seen this side of Jaejoong. She doesn't categorize it as a sad state and not anywhere near happy either. It was more like lost. The very first time that thought ever came to her head.

She always admires Jaejoong. No matter what comes along the way, Jaejoong always seem to know what to do. He’s good at figuring things out. He’s always on the right track. Nothing could break him too. Inside him is a great ball of strength. And just because of some series of circumstances, his strength started to crumble down into pieces that are impossible to count. Jaejoong lost track of things. And before he knew it, his momentum began crashing.

Ye Eun wrapped her arms around Jaejoong's neck. Jaejoong always loved to be hugged from the back and also, this is the very first time Jaejoong would receive a comforting hug from her. It is always Jaejoong to comfort Ye Eun. Now is the time to return the favor. "It will be alright." She stopped. It shocked her actually about the story Jaejoong told her. It took her a couple of hours to process things. Ye Eun saw this coming however she did not expect it to be that way. To be a way that could be more unfaithful than it should be. Her cousin made love to another man. That’s one worse thing to happen. But for him to make love with Changmin’s best friend makes it even more unfaithful than it already is. It made things more complicated. And assumptions such as no suitable forgiveness is the only one Ye Eun could arrive at. “I’m saying this once so you have to listen very careful.” Ye Eun said as she whispered to her cousin’s ears. “I don’t know what you were thinking that night you did that. I don’t even know if you thought of Changmin when Yunho was all over you. But one thing I might be sure of. You trusted Yunho more than you did to Changmin. It was to Yunho that you give your first time to right? That’s your giving him everything you have. I believe that, you love him. With the way you talk about him. I could only tell that.”

“Is that so?” Jaejoong said thinking back of that night and remembering what he felt when they were doing it.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be fine.” Ye Eun assured him.

But still, Jaejoong's eyes wandered back to fantasy land.

Yunho is hopeless. He has searched a couple of days but there has been no improvement. He knows nothing about Jaejoong's contacts. His family. His friends. And he couldn't even bring himself to ask Changmin anything. Who would? How could he even talk to Changmin? He's the biggest jerk he could think of. A big traitor to someone he's considered to have been one of the persons to make him be the man he is now. And yet, he betrayed him.

"Unrequitedness is the biggest torture of love. You feel jealous yet you can't complain. You can get hurt yet you can't show it. You can love with your all yet you can't say it. All you can do is watch, keep the pain, enjoy the smiles, and show how much that person means to you." Mr. Jung said as he handed his son a glass of whiskey. "Since you are a victim of unrequited love, then you are in no position to do anything beyond those."

Yunho looked down. The last time he could remember about sitting with his father and having drinks with him would be the time he was celebrating graduation. The last time he could remember about having a lecture from him is when he failed to be first, and that was since he is in primary school.

"You've crossed borders, Yunho. Despite my reminder. Now i have nothing to say to you but take responsibility. i am sure, no matter how much Changmin values you too, he would never forgive you. that's a fact i would want you to know." Mr. Jung said in the most serious tone he could ever make. He watched as his son slowly drifts down to the lake of guilt.

It has been long lonely days since that night in GwangJu happened. The night at the front yard of his own fantasy land. He knows even before he started to kiss Jaejoong that if he falls in love with Jaejoong, it wouldn’t d any harm between Jaejoong and Changmin’s long relationship. It would only do harm for him. But this time, he wasn’t any sure of what will happen if Changmin finds out. Will Changmin be able to accept the fact that the man who touched his man was the very man he wanted to take care of his man for a couple of months? Dear heavens, it was only a couple of months and look at what mess Yunho got himself and Jaejoong in to.