Trapped inside.
I hate it, but I feel trapped. Trapped at home, at school, in my marriage; it's like it's creeping over every part of my life.
My "house" is terrible. It's an unpleasant place to live, for sure. And it doesn't seem to matter to anyone. Yeah, okay, there's not much even we can do about it, but it seems that it's gone ignore in even the institutions that are supposed to help those economically disadvantaged. Granted, we haven't been trying all that hard, but it's largely a lack of time.
It seems at school that everyone thinks I am in the know. Alright, I generally am; I know people in many of the different aspects of the college. But it's almost like there is too much expected of me. I don't know what I'm going to do in terms of after I graduate here. I just don't know. It's a road I cannot see the end of.
My marriage...I don't know. It is here that I feel most trapped. I cannot be close to my husband physically, because I am not comfortable. It is hard for me to talk to him, especially about the things that are most important in our relationship. I can, but it's not easy. I finally told him, though. It's a start; it's hardly what I would like in one, but it's a start.
There are some that would look upon my pain and smile. Too many people take their pleasure in pretending they are better than others, even as they sit in their mother's house, on their computer for the nth hour in a row, with no prospects for a future of happiness, regardless of how that may be. Let them; it only presses them further into their pain.
You know who you are. ;)
Signed, *paw-print* the Fitz