Can he learn to be nosy in a different way?
*sigh* Oh, the frustration. My own desires come back to bite me in the ass. And so soon too.
I told my husband there will be me, getting a job, and soon. I know of a few places I might be able to sneak into their service. He asked where. As stated in my previous post, I did not want to tell him. Yesterday, we went to see a friend at her work, where I might attempt to seek employment. There was no way to keep it secret, so I didn't really try, but neither she nor I actually mentioned a job application.
It fell apart on our way out. He asked whether I was going to seek employment or just volunteer. I had to ask why he wouldn't just leave it alone, knowing full well that I didn't want to talk to him about it.
In the past, I have asked that he show greater interest in my life and the things I do, preferring that he do so without prompting. This was one situation where I did not want him to do so. I wanted him to have nothing to do with it. That's obviously not going to work.
I stated my complaint; he ignored a direct request to stay out of it in order to obey a previous request to show interest. He could have easily picked something else...
He's been reading a book called Couple Skills and has covered a decent amount of the book. Each time he stops, it gives him quite a bit to think about. No complaints there, right? Last night, he discussed some of the things that the book had given him. We talked about a couple things, without fighting, without accusations, without him degenerating to tears. I felt peaceful in a way I had not for some time. Forward motion on his initiative. Then he asked me a question I was totally unprepared for.
We had just gone to bad and I was feeling calm enough to want to be closer to him than usual. Normally, I am against a certain amount of closeness. Then he asked me what I think of kissing... It's never been a favorite, although sometimes enjoyable. Largely though, I look at it as a necessary evil. It is occasionally still pleasant, but not in its capacity in sexual terms. I actually told him this! omg, how odd to be revealing close kept secrets and harbored pains. I realize it is exactly what we need, what I need, but it's still foreign.
I haven't really wanted to be close to anyone for a number of years now. I am not sure how to reignite the fire that were once emotions inside me, much less how to fuel them for the years to come. It is quite frightening to think it may not even be possible. In my search to learn self-discipline, did I eliminate my capacity to actively feel the emotions so vital to humans and to relationships?
Signed, *paw-print* the Fitz
I told my husband there will be me, getting a job, and soon. I know of a few places I might be able to sneak into their service. He asked where. As stated in my previous post, I did not want to tell him. Yesterday, we went to see a friend at her work, where I might attempt to seek employment. There was no way to keep it secret, so I didn't really try, but neither she nor I actually mentioned a job application.
It fell apart on our way out. He asked whether I was going to seek employment or just volunteer. I had to ask why he wouldn't just leave it alone, knowing full well that I didn't want to talk to him about it.
In the past, I have asked that he show greater interest in my life and the things I do, preferring that he do so without prompting. This was one situation where I did not want him to do so. I wanted him to have nothing to do with it. That's obviously not going to work.
I stated my complaint; he ignored a direct request to stay out of it in order to obey a previous request to show interest. He could have easily picked something else...
He's been reading a book called Couple Skills and has covered a decent amount of the book. Each time he stops, it gives him quite a bit to think about. No complaints there, right? Last night, he discussed some of the things that the book had given him. We talked about a couple things, without fighting, without accusations, without him degenerating to tears. I felt peaceful in a way I had not for some time. Forward motion on his initiative. Then he asked me a question I was totally unprepared for.
We had just gone to bad and I was feeling calm enough to want to be closer to him than usual. Normally, I am against a certain amount of closeness. Then he asked me what I think of kissing... It's never been a favorite, although sometimes enjoyable. Largely though, I look at it as a necessary evil. It is occasionally still pleasant, but not in its capacity in sexual terms. I actually told him this! omg, how odd to be revealing close kept secrets and harbored pains. I realize it is exactly what we need, what I need, but it's still foreign.
I haven't really wanted to be close to anyone for a number of years now. I am not sure how to reignite the fire that were once emotions inside me, much less how to fuel them for the years to come. It is quite frightening to think it may not even be possible. In my search to learn self-discipline, did I eliminate my capacity to actively feel the emotions so vital to humans and to relationships?
Signed, *paw-print* the Fitz