I'm an impatient patient
Venting about my lack of therapy:
ARGH!!!
Background: Approx. 18 months ago, I saw my psychiatrist (who monitors me and refers me to stuff, she doesn't give me therapy) and asked her for therapy for my many and varied psychological symptoms. (Hypomania, depression, anxiety, aggression, compulsive over-eating/binge eating, compulsive truth telling, panic attacks, PTSD-like symptoms.) She agreed to send me to the psychological service for an assessment. When I had an assessment, I was told that all of my problems were to do with me being trans, and that I should get any psychological help that I needed from the gender clinic (though they don't actually offer psychological help). I was really p*ssed off with this, and the next time I saw my psychiatrist I asked for her input. She spoke to the psychological service, but they ended up both agreeing that I need to wait until after all of my physical transition has taken place. I just found out today that my psychiatrist isn't really going to help me any more. I have been wanting therapy for eight years. I consider that I have been ready for therapy for two years. I should have bloody gone private! My psychiatrist explicitly told me not to have private therapy.
I believe that with some specialist help, I'd be able to work full-time. If I can't access that help for another year or two, it will drive me crazy (in the non-literal sense). I am so bloody frustrated. Livid.
My priorities are to sort out my compulsive truth-telling and learn some better coping techniques for my anxiety. I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH BEING IN THE MIDST OF TRANSITION. If I could get these two things sorted (to some extent), I believe that I'd be able to work full-time. I have gone to work when hypomanic and when suicidally depressed, so I'd still be able to work even with these things going on. Some bog-standard computer-based CBT is not going to help me with the compulsive truth-telling. Argh. I shall think about this further.
Things she said: that I am complicated; that I do not like people saying 'no' to me (patronising much?); that the psychological service doesn't feel equipped to deal with me (a transsexual person with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder).
What do I want to do now? I shall stop and think before I act. I mentioned to my psych that I have a friend who is the deputy chair of a local hospital who has offered to help me access healthcare, and that I have friends who are solicitors. Do I *want* to use my connections? Would it be in my interests to do so? Would it be in my interests to be a good little patient and continue to work on my self for a year or three?
This is a rant. Please do not tell me to calm down, I am beginning to do so. Feel free to offer other kinds of advice. Feel free to rage on with me and leave comments saying things like 'grr, I stomp on your PCT with my big stompy boots'.
I may be slow to respond to comments, I need to limit my computer time so my wrists will heal.
ARGH!!!
Background: Approx. 18 months ago, I saw my psychiatrist (who monitors me and refers me to stuff, she doesn't give me therapy) and asked her for therapy for my many and varied psychological symptoms. (Hypomania, depression, anxiety, aggression, compulsive over-eating/binge eating, compulsive truth telling, panic attacks, PTSD-like symptoms.) She agreed to send me to the psychological service for an assessment. When I had an assessment, I was told that all of my problems were to do with me being trans, and that I should get any psychological help that I needed from the gender clinic (though they don't actually offer psychological help). I was really p*ssed off with this, and the next time I saw my psychiatrist I asked for her input. She spoke to the psychological service, but they ended up both agreeing that I need to wait until after all of my physical transition has taken place. I just found out today that my psychiatrist isn't really going to help me any more. I have been wanting therapy for eight years. I consider that I have been ready for therapy for two years. I should have bloody gone private! My psychiatrist explicitly told me not to have private therapy.
I believe that with some specialist help, I'd be able to work full-time. If I can't access that help for another year or two, it will drive me crazy (in the non-literal sense). I am so bloody frustrated. Livid.
My priorities are to sort out my compulsive truth-telling and learn some better coping techniques for my anxiety. I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH BEING IN THE MIDST OF TRANSITION. If I could get these two things sorted (to some extent), I believe that I'd be able to work full-time. I have gone to work when hypomanic and when suicidally depressed, so I'd still be able to work even with these things going on. Some bog-standard computer-based CBT is not going to help me with the compulsive truth-telling. Argh. I shall think about this further.
Things she said: that I am complicated; that I do not like people saying 'no' to me (patronising much?); that the psychological service doesn't feel equipped to deal with me (a transsexual person with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder).
What do I want to do now? I shall stop and think before I act. I mentioned to my psych that I have a friend who is the deputy chair of a local hospital who has offered to help me access healthcare, and that I have friends who are solicitors. Do I *want* to use my connections? Would it be in my interests to do so? Would it be in my interests to be a good little patient and continue to work on my self for a year or three?
This is a rant. Please do not tell me to calm down, I am beginning to do so. Feel free to offer other kinds of advice. Feel free to rage on with me and leave comments saying things like 'grr, I stomp on your PCT with my big stompy boots'.
I may be slow to respond to comments, I need to limit my computer time so my wrists will heal.