More on BiCon
I had a really mixed BiCon.
1. I felt really anxious for a significant part of the time. It felt like 20% of the time I was socialising/being around people. I felt scared of people quite a lot of the time; some people I never feel scared of, others I feel scared of occasionally (and inexplicably), others still intimidate me with their aura of teh cool. I didn't talk to a couple of people that I really wanted to talk to due to my anxiety. Gah.
2. It was great to be around bisexuals in a trans-friendly, mental ill health-friendly* place WITH WORKSHOPS.
3a. I had some serious relationship issues that came up unexpectedly. There was a lot of assuming going on on both parts and I didn't express my needs effectively
3b. A particularly nasty feeling raised its ugly head. I don't want to mention what feeling it was cos I'm keeping this post public and don't want the people involved to --can't express what I mean here, may edit/add later--
So, I'm going to do a BiCon gratitude list to try and get some perspective.
gratitude list
- I got to show off my darling wife in public (I love you so much darling)
- The train journey to Glasgow was really fun and friendly thanks to plumsbitch. That really helped ease me into socialising with people.
- There were plenty of BDSM workshops, and I got to experiment with a new toy - see http://tinyurl.com/eh57q (I think it's work-safe; it's medical equipment) that made me shudder. I really loved the BDSM show-and-tell one; we got to show off some of our toys.
- I had my first IRL chat with self_etcetera, who I talk to quite a bit on LJ. I've met her before, but I had one of my shy moments at the time.
- The Rocky Horror Picture Show audience participation was jolly good fun. foibey wore her nurses outfit - phwoar
- Naked Lunch. Thanks liberaltart
- I managed to deal with people for A LOT OF THE TIME. I get a prize.
- Train travel is fun. The coast around Berwick-upon-Tweed is beautiful, and I like the bridges of Newcastle.
- I got drunk without being a drunken arsehole. (Tell me if you don't agree!!)
- Lots of people called me by my name --Nye-- which I chose in November 2005. I like being called by my name :-)
- There was a bethanthepurple! There were lots of other lovely people too.
*For the most part. There was a wanker at BiCon who confused mental ill-health with feeling a bit down in the dumps and assumed that because I wasn't acting like a screaming loony I was therefore as sane as he. Tosser. He was of the type to say things like 'but you seem so normal to me... surely you could get a job...'
1. I felt really anxious for a significant part of the time. It felt like 20% of the time I was socialising/being around people. I felt scared of people quite a lot of the time; some people I never feel scared of, others I feel scared of occasionally (and inexplicably), others still intimidate me with their aura of teh cool. I didn't talk to a couple of people that I really wanted to talk to due to my anxiety. Gah.
2. It was great to be around bisexuals in a trans-friendly, mental ill health-friendly* place WITH WORKSHOPS.
3a. I had some serious relationship issues that came up unexpectedly. There was a lot of assuming going on on both parts and I didn't express my needs effectively
3b. A particularly nasty feeling raised its ugly head. I don't want to mention what feeling it was cos I'm keeping this post public and don't want the people involved to --can't express what I mean here, may edit/add later--
So, I'm going to do a BiCon gratitude list to try and get some perspective.
gratitude list
- I got to show off my darling wife in public (I love you so much darling)
- The train journey to Glasgow was really fun and friendly thanks to plumsbitch. That really helped ease me into socialising with people.
- There were plenty of BDSM workshops, and I got to experiment with a new toy - see http://tinyurl.com/eh57q (I think it's work-safe; it's medical equipment) that made me shudder. I really loved the BDSM show-and-tell one; we got to show off some of our toys.
- I had my first IRL chat with self_etcetera, who I talk to quite a bit on LJ. I've met her before, but I had one of my shy moments at the time.
- The Rocky Horror Picture Show audience participation was jolly good fun. foibey wore her nurses outfit - phwoar
- Naked Lunch. Thanks liberaltart
- I managed to deal with people for A LOT OF THE TIME. I get a prize.
- Train travel is fun. The coast around Berwick-upon-Tweed is beautiful, and I like the bridges of Newcastle.
- I got drunk without being a drunken arsehole. (Tell me if you don't agree!!)
- Lots of people called me by my name --Nye-- which I chose in November 2005. I like being called by my name :-)
- There was a bethanthepurple! There were lots of other lovely people too.
*For the most part. There was a wanker at BiCon who confused mental ill-health with feeling a bit down in the dumps and assumed that because I wasn't acting like a screaming loony I was therefore as sane as he. Tosser. He was of the type to say things like 'but you seem so normal to me... surely you could get a job...'