90% of what i see isn't my business.
it really must be the perfect day for letting go. so why can't i. why can't i let go of anything...because maybe these things i hold onto are the things that make me feel most human and most like my true self. or do they?
or am i just imagining all this shit...which sometimes i feel is more plausable than me truly living in my own reality. or the reality that has been created for me.
oh shit. there i go. i really have to learn to stop beating around the fucking bush. and i think i need to learn how to treat people better...not just the people i like. but, everyone. not completely change myself, still tell them what i think but be more polite about it...i guess i can offer them a tissue after i stomp on them. that might help, no?
i miss greece. i miss being around people that are amazing. i miss the experiences. i miss the so-fresh-they're-still-warm chocolate crossaints i would have to beat everyone off for. i miss hugging anne when she was drunk and having her legs wrap around my waist...everytime, without fail. and matt, after his tsipiro incdent...hugging EVERYONE. and the six pack, well...really the tri-trucks combined. i miss constant kinship. and damnit...i loved those guys.
i am going to be a world traveler. i am going to travel somewhere every summer. it will make me poor, but damnit i loved it.
my honeymoon at cristo's overlooking the agean sea. *day dreams, and then cries* its going to be SO fucking amazing. i can't wait to share that experience of my life with the man i'm going to spend the rest of my life with...i just hope i find him before i forget where everything is on the island. *laughs*
i miss just general kinship. my family is supporting my so much in this area...i think its time to get some real friends of my own. someone living 12 states away makes it a little difficult to keep up with my best friend. and my mother...i feel odd telling her everything, i know she knows but it still urks me (and i think her too) to hear it coming out of my mouth. because she thinks a lot of things that sometimes shouldn't ever become a reality in her head.
ok, now i'm just babbling and crying. and i think i'm going to stop. because you know what...i don't know enough people that read this to really put any more effort into this post.
sleep well.
chicken grease.
or am i just imagining all this shit...which sometimes i feel is more plausable than me truly living in my own reality. or the reality that has been created for me.
oh shit. there i go. i really have to learn to stop beating around the fucking bush. and i think i need to learn how to treat people better...not just the people i like. but, everyone. not completely change myself, still tell them what i think but be more polite about it...i guess i can offer them a tissue after i stomp on them. that might help, no?
i miss greece. i miss being around people that are amazing. i miss the experiences. i miss the so-fresh-they're-still-warm chocolate crossaints i would have to beat everyone off for. i miss hugging anne when she was drunk and having her legs wrap around my waist...everytime, without fail. and matt, after his tsipiro incdent...hugging EVERYONE. and the six pack, well...really the tri-trucks combined. i miss constant kinship. and damnit...i loved those guys.
i am going to be a world traveler. i am going to travel somewhere every summer. it will make me poor, but damnit i loved it.
my honeymoon at cristo's overlooking the agean sea. *day dreams, and then cries* its going to be SO fucking amazing. i can't wait to share that experience of my life with the man i'm going to spend the rest of my life with...i just hope i find him before i forget where everything is on the island. *laughs*
i miss just general kinship. my family is supporting my so much in this area...i think its time to get some real friends of my own. someone living 12 states away makes it a little difficult to keep up with my best friend. and my mother...i feel odd telling her everything, i know she knows but it still urks me (and i think her too) to hear it coming out of my mouth. because she thinks a lot of things that sometimes shouldn't ever become a reality in her head.
ok, now i'm just babbling and crying. and i think i'm going to stop. because you know what...i don't know enough people that read this to really put any more effort into this post.
sleep well.
chicken grease.