How the mind works...
Friday, October 30th 2009 at 2:14am
The fun thing about board games is not so much the games themselves, but how much it reveals about the people you're playing with. Who is most generous? Who is most competitive? Who is willing to take chances? Who is a sore loser? Etc, etc.
Also, while online games allow you to interact with others, it's very different to see their faces as they contemplate then to see some text they wrote. Board games allow for much more real conversation. Once everybody is familiar with a game, then the players are almost using the board game just as a way to allow them all to be comfortable and have an excuse to not be too involved in the conversation. Also a way to correspond with people you usually wouldn't have any other reason to talk to. It's like drinking for more intelligent people (although many people do both at the same time.) But for obvious reasons, drinking has draw backs, whereas board games only have benefits.
I've spent a lot of time thinking (in the past few years) about how the brain operates and what connections we make between activities, people, emotions, memories... For every activity you do throughout your day, there is a thought process. For every emotion you feel, there is a thought process. For every person you encounter, there are multitudes of thought processes that stem from their influence. And for each of these thought processes, a part of the brain is further developed.
There are ways in which this phenomena is obvious. For example, if you work as a programmer, you're likely to be more logical than most people; most systematic. If you're an artist, then you look at everything you see as a potential painting, drawing, 3D-model... If you're into sports or martial arts then you pay more attention to body language and what it means. You understand people through their movements more than their words. If you're a writer, then when you read a book you notice writing style, grammar, and the structure of the plot. Writer's also are more likely to be able to come up with the words they want when they're having a conversation.
But what about the things that are less obvious? I've noticed that people who play video games are not always good at board games. It takes a different sort of logic; a different area of the brain. (Of course this partly depends on the video games. City builders and turn-based strategy video games are in many ways similar to many board games.)
What about the impact of the words we use? In many languages having a debate is referred to as a dance in it's most literal translation. In English however, we refer to it as a battle. To "win" an argument. To "defeat" someone's point. In many languages it is to "sidestep" or to "parry" or even simply to "dance." What effect does that have on our mentality?
I've noticed that I don't get along with people who don't do at least one of the following: play games, create. You know what I mean by play games, but what do I mean by create? Some create music, others create art. Some people create novels, others create websites... All that matters is that it's a craft where it starts with an idea, and then through skill is turned into some form of reality.
People without a craft have less of a sense of reality. They have less respect for people's creations. Sometimes they have no respect at all. How can someone respect someone's lifetime's work when they them self have no craft of their own?
People who don't play games seem to have no sense of adventure, spontaneity... Less fun overall. Also they can be very down on gaming and make it out to be some sort of useless thing... Like it's some worthless addiction. That always bugs me, because I've learned a lot from video games and board games alike.
What sort of books a person reads has a huge impact on how they think. And the higher their awareness of the input they're receiving, the more can be gained from each book. Some people are not nearly as intelligent as you would expect for someone so well-read because so much of what they've read they didn't have any life experience to relate it to. If you find nothing to latch on to, much of it will just wash over you without ever sinking in.
One of the most profound differences that happens in life is when someone falls in love... Most unfortunately, the most life-changing part of falling in love for the first time, is the heartbreak when it doesn't work out. The great majority of people are not yet mature enough when they first experience love to have any idea what they have, or how valuable it is, and they float on through life like business as usual and end up fucking it up (like I did when I was first in love.)
I find that love-virgins are much, much more naïve and hard to deal with than sex-virgins. Which brings me to something I don't yet have a conclusion about. Can someone whose never had sex truly love someone as deeply as someone whose has sex with the person they love?
One reason I wonder about this is because two of my closest friends are both virgins and dating. They've been going out for well over six months, and I'm sure they say “I love you” to each other. I know they kiss and cuddle, but I also know for sure that they are not having sex. They both agree fully that they're not ready, and don't want the risk of pregnancy to even be in the realm of possibility.
But to consummate... To consummate one's love is something so very dramatic; in a good way. I've come to the conclusion that sex is nothing without an emotion behind it. Jealousy, anger, envy, fear... These can create thrilling sex. But only love creates the sort of sex that makes you feel like the world is utterly complete. Can one really feel as deep a connection without? If it is possible, then what does that imply?
Also, I wonder a lot about the differences between first love and second love. The first time you may not even be aware is the first time. You may have dubbed your previous infatuations love without really knowing that the full effects had never been upon you. But once heartbreak happens (for whatever reason), you know. Life completely loses it's luster for a time, and in that time, you grow into an adult (a transformation much more dramatic than puberty.) So when you fall in love the second time, you know to value what you have. But it is less pure the second time? Is it stronger because you value it more highly? Is it slightly bitter because you feel it's doomed to end just like the last?
I've been in love three times. And for each of those people there was a different set of activities. Each one told me their life story in the full richness of their emotion. For each of them it was like gaining another's person's lifetime of experiences. Each doubled the stories I had to tell, and the reasons I had to value love, and relationships. I desire love because I desire learning, companionship, growth, affection... The pain one feels if and when it ends is perhaps the worst torture, and yet it's so very worth it.
With so many factors that affect how we think, and what we want... Wouldn't the odds say that absolutely nobody should be compatible with anybody? Or is it the other way around? With so much to be learned at any given moment, and with so many human experiences being so universal, shouldn't anyone (given the right time and place) be compatible with anybody? Shouldn't any two people be able to love one another... if shown to each other in the right light?
Saturday, October 31st 2009 at 3:06pm
Sorry... I wasn't up for anything last night. I ended up just laying down and doing the only thing that works anymore: a string of positive affirmations... Makes me feel weird at first every time... But after three or four I start to feel better, and the better I feel, the closer I am to sleep.
Embarrassing that I just now got up... And I've done my Halloween plans, and Wolf didn't come over this morning... I was dearly hoping that he would, because I knew that today would be empty... Ah well, time for more World of Warcraft I suppose...
Some thoughts on drugs:
That's just the problem with using the drugs (cigarettes & beer included)! They become your entertainment. You begin to believe the world would be boring as all hell without them. Yet, you couldn't be more wrong. Life is not boring at all.
In Nature... There is the sky, full of clouds, rain, or a blue sky and shining sun, or a midnight sky with a gleaming moon and sparkling stars. There is the breeze, or steams and valleys, or animals... The falling leaves as they are now. Ever try (while sober), going outside and taking handfuls of leaves and just throwing them into the air (preferably with an equally open-minded and adventurous-sober person with you) and then watching them rain down in front of you - feeling them graze your skin?
With Friends... Conversations that are not sober are boring as hell. I want to be able to discuss politics, theosophy, religion, controversial topics such as same-sex-marriage, abortion and taboo fantasies. I want to be able to break down the plot to my favorite anime shows and argue about what mistakes a character makes. And I want my friends to have animated energy and not be stoned in the corner being quiet.
At Work... No matter what your job is, being intoxicated to any degree is not a way to escape from it. All that will happen is that you're less productive and more likely to get fired. It's much better to find games to play with yourself. Can you be more productive than yesterday? Can you manipulate your co-workers (in a friendly and helpful way) into doing things your way?
At Home Alone... The worst time to intoxicated. You need all of your brain's resources to keep you busy and happy when alone, and when slowed down by intoxication... Ick. If I were intoxicated (including cigarettes & beer), how likely would I be to respond with such complete letters? Would I be calling my mom to remind her about Nanowrimo? (National Novel Writing Month - begins tonight at midnight.) Would I even be considering writing fifty thousand words in the month of November? Would I consider the health benefits of my food before eating it? Would I draw the beautiful sky, or take my camera out and dress up for fun pictures? No, no, no, and no.
In fact, a lot of people (and I know, because I used to be an addict who had a lot of addict friends), can't even play video games when the least bit under the influence. Your coordination is reduced making fighting games a joke, and your deductive abilities are impaired, making strategy games a laughing stock. You become more likely to forget, making adventure games impossible. What does this leave? Television. The ultimate brain killer. Yeah, okay, so you can learn a lot from TV, but are you seriously studying what you're hearing when intoxicated? Probably not.
Also, anything that isn't good for you health is going to make you as a human being function on a lower level. Your level of health is not something to match up with how long you live. Your health should be matched up with how well you want to live. What you eat is what your body has to work with when building muscles, digesting food, growing hair, maintaining teeth, growing skin, and so forth. Every cell is constantly growing, and it always needs fuel. And sugar, beer, cigarettes, and pot are the very last things your cells need. They need enzymes, eletrolights, phyto-nutrients, and other extremely important things that most people have no idea even exist.
If your cells don't get what they need, then every body function is lowered. Your eyesight, your sense of smell, taste, hearing, touch... Drugs make you feel like these senses are accelerates, when actually the other parts of your brain are repressed, making it seem like your senses are over the edge.
Anyway, I could go on about the side effects of each individual drug, but the fact of the matter is, you either value your time and your body, or you don't.
Some thoughts on video games:
Video games are something I love a lot. I like it when I get so addicted to a game that I'll wake up earlier than normal just to play. Unfortunately I have not been that addicted to a game in years.
One of the things I miss most about my ex (that I left eight months ago) was that we would sit side by side on our laptops and play games together. Early in the relationship it was Diablo II, and then Final Fantasy 11, and for a time he played Call of Duty while I was playing Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones or Civilization Four: Beyond the Sword: Fall from Heaven Mod, and then later on he got me into World of Warcraft, which is quite the awesome game.
I grew up on Civilization, and other similar-ish games. I loved Colonization, Lords of Magic, Kings Quest, Cesar, Pharaoh...
Ah did I love Pharaoh. It's a city builder game where you build Egyptian cities and in order to progress to the next rank (next level, next map), you have to earn a certain status of culture, monuments, prosperity and something else. Culture comes from how well your people live. Do they have enough resources, education and sanitation? If so, higher class people will move in and pay higher taxes. Also, you build giant monuments from resources that your purchase and mine. It's very fulfilling to see a huge pyramid being built before your eyes on your screen. And of course they incorporate pleasing the Egyptian gods, and fighting off invaders and many resources to sell and buy.
Anyway, that said, video games should be something you do to relax and shouldn't be your entire life. I do go through phases where I play video games for a lot of time everyday, but it displeases me that some people completely replace books with video games. The two are not at all the same, and while you can learn a lot from games (I know I have), you can learn more from books.
Nanowrimo:
Tonight at midnight begins National Novel Writing Month. Nanowrimo is a challenge to write fifty-thousand words in the month of November, and people across the world are putting themselves under the pressure of doing it. To complete Nanowrimo, you have to write approximately one and half typed pages every day. My first try was last year, and I actually managed it, so this year I hope to manage it again. At midnight, while some people are out stuffing their faces with pure poison and damaging their pancreases in celebration of the most unhealthy holiday, I'll be typing away.
I wrote the first 40% of an excellent novel last year in those fifty-thousand words, and then when on to write another 50k words over the next few months, and found that I was still around 60% through the novel. Which is all well and good if you're already a famous writer, but your first published book generally needs to be about 70k words total.
Also, I realized that my characters were interesting, but not unique enough. So in the time since I started writing a novel where depth of character is the main point. Last years novel was about an epic adventure. This year's novel will be entirely what was missing from that try. Feelings - true and real feelings that people can relate to. So that I will be well practiced in that and can come back to my fantasy works after.
I already have a bunch written for it, but it's all scrambled and written too far apart. So for Nanowrimo I'm essentially going to start over and then possibly after go back and incorporate it into one finished piece. What usually happens is I write 200 pages and realize the story is still in the middle. I have a hard time transitioning from the middle of the story, to the end of the story. The part where the giant climax happens.. It tends to be a series of things that just makes the plot more tangled and interesting, but no closer to being done.
I think this time I'll be able to do it however because the plot is so very simple. There won't be any dramatic plot twists. It's all just human emotion and slice of life type stuff. I think it'll connect easily with anyone who reads it, while also shocking them... My honesty about certain things will be worth a lot in shock value... With an ending leaving the reader (hopefully) feeling more optimistic about life. I'm hoping that if I just finish a novel that I'll be able to go back and rewrite and finish my previous novels that I got too lost and carried away with.
My issue with writing a fantasy novel is I get lost in my own story. I have fun making charts about the landscape, the foods, the characters, the realms, magics or whatever else may be included. I begin to draw pictures of my characters. I draw maps of the locations and buildings. I research locations, names, stones and anything at all relevant. And the next thing you know I'm spending an hour a day on the novel but not actually writing the novel at all.
So this exercise is also about writing a novel that doesn't require any of that. Because it's slice of life, I only need a basic chart with names, appearances and some other small facts. Nothing major. No world creation. And so forth.