My Fourth Polyamory Gathering Trip (Part 3) . . . Golden Shower Given
The following log is transcribed from a notebook I took with me when traveling to visit Rooster and Oryx and attend the polyamory gathering. Wednesday and Thursday we spent at Rooster's house. Friday we went on to the poly gathering. (Want more background. Click here to go back to April 2013, and my very first trip to the polyamory gathering.)
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Friday, April 15th 2016
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6:55am - Woke with a stomachache and very sore throat glands. I felt resentful, sad, anxious, uncertain and meh.
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6:55am to 7:25am - Packing, readying to go.
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7:25am to 8:45am - Lymphatic work from Paladin, then Oryx. Feeling loved, grateful, but also triggered by Oryx's ineffective processing of Rooster.
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8:45am to 9:15am - Packing suitcases and cooler.
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9:15am to 10:05am - Beginning the journey toward the poly gathering. Drank a Multi-Green GT's Kombucha. Sore in the armpit and right collar-bone area. Hibiscus helped me process feeling like I have no home.
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10:05am to 12:15pm - The drive continues. Feeling triggered about Oryx. Feeling sadness that I didn't handle things better yesterday.
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Note: We arrive at the polyamory gathering. This was my fourth time attending this same polyamory gathering. Paladin had been with me each time. This was Hibiscus's first time. Although his(/our) next-door neighbors, Otter and Polecat, had been before and told Hibiscus about it. I'd met Otter and Polecat through the poly gathering.
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12:15pm to 12:50pm - Unpacking. Meh. Focused.
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12:50pm to 2:10pm - Showering. Hot tub. With Hibiscus. Feeling good, peaceful, pleased.
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2:10pm to 2:44pm - Eating juice in kitchen. Tiny bit anxious. Feeling mostly peaceful or focused.
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2:44pm to 3:27pm - Coloring in the kitchen, snacking peacefully. Still a little anxious.
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3:27pm to 3:52pm - Walking around with Hibiscus. Exploring the greenhouse. Feeling pleased, good, special, delighted.
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3:52pm to 4:56pm - Napping. Talking. Sex with Hibiscus. Pleased. Ecstatic. Grateful. Aroused. Saw Paladin and talked for about ten minutes.
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4:56pm to 5:20pm - Eating pomegranate. Being social. Talking to Chad a bit. Feeling anxious and somewhat pleased.
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5:20pm to 7:40pm - Meeting Robyn & Karlyn and Laren & Daven. Playing my fourth board game (first prototype) with Hibiscus, Karlyn, Laren & Daven. Anxious, peaceful, excited. Frustrated. Pleased.
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7:40pm to 9:30pm - Dinner. Talked to Jenni and Mikki a little, then went into the kitchen and talked to Basket Bear and Tera, Brenda and Chad, Hibiscus and Paladin. Felt anxious, excited, joyful, happy, sad and worried.
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9:30pm to 10:00pm - Orientation. Feeling peaceful and amused.
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10:00pm to 11:00pm - Hot tub. In the shower beforehand:
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"I wanted to shower alone. I have to pee," I said.
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"Well, here, pee on my leg," Chad said, putting his leg between my legs.
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I had to pee really bad. Oh, hell. Why not? He asked for it.
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So I let it out.
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"Ah, it's so warm," Chad said.
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I bowed my head, my cheeks hot with embarrassment and excitement.
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Feeling: Amused, aroused, tiny bit devious, a little embarrassed, peaceful.
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11:00pm to 12:02am - Crazy anxiety while talking to Tera.
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12:02am to 12:18am - Decompressed with Hibiscus.
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12:18am to 12:28am - Sex with Hibiscus - orgasmed three times.
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12:28am to 1:14am - Cuddles. Laughter. Feeling annoyed about Basket Bear breathing on my face. Feeling jealous about Paladin touching Tera's leg. They're all pretty drunk. Health stuff kept coming up as a conversation topic. I left. Now what? Isolation, trapped, angry, hurt, amused, sad. Feeling betrayed, like Paladin isn't really my ally.
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1:14am to 2:40am - Processing and crying heavily in the room with Hibiscus and Paladin. Feeling suicidal. Feeling hurt and helpless about Paladin.
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2:40am to 3:05am - Starting trying to sleep. Pain in sinuses and stomach.
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Click here for the following day (where I feel betrayed).