am i doin the right thing?
today i took crystal to the MSU police station so she could file a report against a boy in her class that freaked out on her today and threatened to kill her, shoot her n all this. and although i HIGHLY doubt he is actually going to do that...i was sitting in that station wondering if i should at least file a report against matt. and i began to think about if i was to prosecute him, what would end up happening to him. it's so hard because i know him so well, he's not jus some kid from my class you kno. and also he has a future ahead of him that can get seriously messed up because of this. jason teague hit a girl and ended up getting suspended from football...yea he plays again now but...as right as it seems to do something i don't think i can mess up his life that way. plus as pathetic as it is then he would REALLY REALLY REALLY hate me and i don't want somebody out there like that. i dont want him to hate me like that...especially considering it's very possible i'll end up having to see him beyond college because of our career choices both revolving around sports...his playing and mine reporting. this would get publicized just like the thing with jason teague and it's jus not something i think i want to do. although, i think back to the first time he put his hands on me and how if i had reported that and then went to report this and prosecute him he would REALLY be fucked because of the previous report involving similar actions with the same person (me) i am curious as to what would happen to him this time because it went a step further with him actually hitting me for real. ahhhh i dunno this is stressful. i wish i had never met his ass. i jus see all these bruises and think about how insanely wrong that was and how everybody is kinda like yea...and brushes it off and it bothers me and makes me feel like maybe they're doing that because im sorta brushing it off too by NOT at least filing a report. i jus dont think i could do that to matt though. call me stupid...i cant do it.
*~Ashley~*
*~Ashley~*