A Big Decision

[fakingitsomehow]

I gave Tara one last hug before walking over to where Wes and Fred were at. Fred didn't seem to mind me being there - in fact she had some goofy grin - and yeah, I knew I'd have to talk with her later. But as she got up and left me alone with my boyfriend, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it once to let him know I was ok. Actually, better than ok.

Comments

[prodigalwatcher]

My first instinct had been to worry when Buffy and Tara had entered the kitchen-- when two individuals as deeply involved in the great good-versus-evil goings on were engaged in discussion, it was not historically the best sign. This time, though, I was happy to be quite incorrect, as it seemed that the two young women were getting on as famously as I'd been told Tara had with all of the old Sunnydale group when she'd been, well, alive before. Buffy gave Tara a warm embrace before sitting down at the table with Fred and I.

Fred and Buffy smiled quite amiably at each other, and as Buffy took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, Fred excused herself and left the table. A moment later, we were alone in the room. Buffy turned to me, continuing to wear the warm, almost relieved expression she'd had since getting to the kitchen.

"Hey... Don't know if you saw, but apparently Lisette figured out how to stop the truth spell. Something about telling a deep secret to someone - which, of course, I didn't see posted on the board until after

[prodigalwatcher]

I could see in Buffy's expression that considering them dead, conceding their deaths to The First as yet another tic in our 'Loss' column, was the last thing she wanted to do. Something approaching a platitude on that subject was forming on my lips when Buffy's green eyes met mine with something determined behind them.

"That... that prophecy? About the vampire with a soul or something... you said you were sure it was Connor. The child of a vampire with a soul which - hello - could only be Connor. Right? But what if you were wrong, Wes? What if that paper you found was wrong and it's just a vamp with a soul? What then?"

Crossing my arms, I felt the anger abate a few degrees, making way for the thoughtfulness and cool analysis of theorising.

"As I translated the additional text, Connor was the only solution to the prophesy. But if you're right and I was wrong, and losing Connor doesn't imply that we've lost that particular trump card, then we would be left with the two souled vampires definitely on The First's side, Angelus and Spike

[fakingitsomehow]

It felt like it had been so long since the two of us had kissed, talked, anything... and now the only thing that brought us together was to discuss our whole good versus evil war that we were always fighting? How sad was that?

He looked particularly thoughtful when I'd mentioned the truth spell, but thankfully, didn't press me for any more answers other than the ones I'd given. Honestly, I wasn't ready to talk to him about the guns just yet. Train with them? Yes. Heck, I'd held the gun a whopping total of one time, and that was it.

I'd wanted a different way of fighting off this darkness. And, well, if he wasn't going to train me then... well, that talk with Tara had put a whole different idea into my head about how we could win this thing.

"Connor... particularly after what Angelus did to him... has never felt entirely at home here at the hotel, among us. With the possible exception of Cordelia, that is. She might even know something of his whereabouts. Andrew... I'm afraid I'm at a loss."I nodded, not liking his answer but

[prodigalwatcher]

I could feel a certain... hesitation... on Buffy's part regarding a great deal of the things about which we were talking. As ever, there was more to the story and the situation than I was getting, and it would have to wait until some other, rare, quiet moment to discover the rest. I loved Buffy, I had to trust that if what she was leaving out was truly that crucial, then she wouldn't be leaving it out in the first place. It wasn't the easiest leap for me to make, at least in the past. Now, I found it just a bit easier than before.

"Yeah. Me too. At a loss, I mean."Nodding along with Buffy, I considered the young man, certainly more thoughtfully and thoroughly than I had before. Almost everything I knew aobut Andrew Wells came from the impressions of others, from what people such as Buffy and Dawn and a thousand years ago, even Spike when he'd arrived at the Hyperion as an ally, not an enemy. I didn't know him, and now the odds I could calculate were clear-- he was gone

[fakingitsomehow]

He didn't believe me. Great.

"You almost had me there. For a moment, I thought you were--"

I just raised an eyebrow and stayed quiet. He had to have known I was serious. He must've known.

"Absolutely out of the question. That solution is unacceptable."

"I knew you'd think that," I whispered back, not because I was afraid of anyone overhearing, but somehow our little discussion had turned incredibly intimate. I knew why he didn't want me to do this... but I also knew it was our Ace in the Hole, so to speak.

"The illogic of sacrificing our best, most experienced warrior aside, there's no way to guarantee even in the smallest bit that the resultant Slayer-Vampire hybrid will be even remotely controllable, let alone still be you."

My hands reached out and grasped his as if that would somehow comfort him. "Wes, I'll be fine. Really. I get vamped, Willow poofs the soul back in me, everything will be fine. Think about this - logically. We haven't been able to defeat The First, Angelus keeps killing our people, Connor is missing, and

[prodigalwatcher]

"I knew you'd think that."

"How could I think otherwise?" I all but hissed, the entire conversation suddenly low and intensely private, despite our being alone in the room.

"Wes, I'll be fine. Really. I get vamped, Willow poofs the soul back in me, everything will be fine. Think about this - logically. We haven't been able to defeat The First, Angelus keeps killing our people, Connor is missing, and Faith... Faith is a Slayer-Vamp who we already know is stronger than any vamp we've faced. We need one just as strong - if not stronger - than her to win. That would leave me."

I shook my head vehemently, my eyes narrowing. I would not, could not allow this to happen. There wasn't, as far as I was concerned, even the slightest reason to even entertain the idea.

"And yet you'd put such a massive gap in our defenses by removing yourself from our ranks? You cannot possibly be certain that a vampire version of you would not switch sides in a moment."

"I trust Willow... She can do it, Wes. You can be there to help her... I'll be fine