terribly sad
i'm officially home. i miss her more than words can explain. it's going to get easier right? i'm supposed to get used to this... my stomach is all in knots and i can't hold back the tears anymore. this feeling is worse than any feeling of rejection or hurt i've felt before. because she loves me and misses me just as much as i feel for her. and there is nothing we can do to change it. i'm not going to see my love for two months. i honestly feel like a piece of me is missing. a piece of my heart has been ripped out of me and i'm left with a bloody, messy hole i simply don't know what to do with. it's simply not fair. i want to be with her always. i think i'm going through withdrawl. and i'm not saying that to be funny. sometimes i feel like my baby is a drug to me. when i am with her things go my way, i feel elated just to be in her beautiful presence. but when i'm not everything just seems sad and ordinary, with christina everything is new and exciting. why did she have to take that stupid fucking job anyway...
off to lay in my bed, paralyzed with saddness. :*-(