numbers-- one-shot
Title: Numbers
Rating: K+
Summary: Sanghyun loves numbers.
Pairing: Slight Joon/Cheondoong/Mir - Cheondoong-centric
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys, only the plot.
Author's note: A little something I came up with. Comments are nice!
Unbeknownst to many, Sanghyun likes counting. He associates all the important things in life to various numbers that are etched in the wood of his bed.
Seven is a rainbow on a rainy day; him and his older noona sitting in the wet grass staring at the sky. Before the stardom and the fame, before MBLAQ and 2ne1 and Big Bang and Jihoon, when he was just Sanghyun and she was just Sandara. Yellow was always his favourite, but his noona had insisted that a rainbow needed all seven colours to be complete; to stand out and be different, because a rainbow just wasn't a rainbow if there weren't seven colours. He had only smiled in response. To them, it had only been a dream back then, even as the sun set and the rainbow was beginning to vanish, they continued staring at it like it would last forever.
Six is tears and sweat, trying times and almost giving up. He had auditioned for various companies but no one wanted to take him in, until Jihoon hyung had finally approached him and asked him to join a boy band fifteen days before their debut. He is the substitute for someone that was better than him, and he finds himself in tears after his very first rehearsal with the rest of the band. Jihoon hyung finds him afterwards and talks to him, tells him it's going to be alright so long as he keeps pushing forward. Sanghyun believes him and continues, although the tears don't stop. He cries five times before they debut, and once immediately after their debut stage. Because although he feels like he is getting somewhere, it had been such a painstakingly slow process that he thinks he doesn't have the stamina to push forward anymore. Changsun collects him in his arms that night, and suddenly, Sanghyun feels that everything might just be alright.
Five is MBLAQ. They are sitting in the living room of their dormitory, Byunghee is watching TV, Seungho playing games on his iPad, Cheolyong sleeping on Changsun's lap with said boy leaning his back against Sanghyun. Sanghyun has his PSP on hand and looks up once at the full living room, and thinks that this is home. Byunghee looks at Sanghyun questioningly as Changsun stretches against him. Sanghyun simply glances once at the squirming boy on Changsun's lap and shakes his head in response, returning to his PSP in hopes of defeating the dark lord at hand. From somewhere in the room, he hears Seungho throw a pillow at Cheolyong, and he grins again, even as his character is killed by a particularly nasty blow to the head.
Four if for family. Dad, mum and his two older sisters. "Noona, I don't think-"
"You can take it anymore? Sanghyun ah, you knew it wasn't going to be easy. If being a singer was that easy, anyone would do it."
He responds with sniffling.
"Come on dongsaeng, I know you can do it. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward. Tears are okay, but so long as you think you can do it, you will succeed in the end. Mum is here back worrying about her precious baby so man up and tell her you're doing fine okay? We really don't need her worrying so excessively. Dad looks like he's going to rip out what's left of his hair if she doesn't stop fretting. You should probably talk to them."
The next few hours are spent consoling his distraught mum over the phone, and chatting with his proud dad about debuting in a few day's time.
"I miss you guys," he finishes.
"I miss you too son, but just know, if you ever need anyone to fall back on, we're always here for you."
Sanghyun smiles through the tears he is holding back.
Three is quiet times and solitude. The rain is pattering against the windows and he stares at the light streaming in, illuminating the room in different places. It lands on a pile of Byunghee's clothes, their bedroom slippers, the shared computer they have. His thoughts fly back to sleepless nights, and bad dreams, shaking when he woke. He remembers how he had trudged to Cheolyong and Changsun's shared room and squeezed in with the maknae on the bed, only to have Changsun join them moments later. He thinks of how Seungho asks him out for coffee every once in a while and just talks to him, no matter how busy they both are. How Byunghee always seems to have what he forgets, how he encourages him and cheers him on no matter where they're at. As much as he loves being around his band members, Sanghyun likes this solitude, because it gives him time to think and reflect, pull all the good pieces together and fix them like a jigsaw puzzle. And because he only has three hours of it a week, Sanghyun looks forward to this time the most.
Two is love. Changsun is at the door the minute he comes home.
"Sanghyun ah," there's something in his voice that Sanghyun's never heard before; fear.
"I think I lov-" Cheolyong bounces out of the room right at that moment, breaking the intense moment between the two.
"Hyung! I love you guys too!" and he wraps them both in a hug so tight Sanghyun thinks he can't breathe.
He chuckles at the maknae's childish antics and cast a shy glance in Changsun's direction who had a full-blown smile of affection on his face. He looks at Sanghyun and mouths the words love you, causing Sanghyun to blush. Both boys look at Sanghyun expectantly and he only furrows his eyebrows in response.
"Tell us you love us too!" Cheolyong demands loudly.
Sanghyun laughs, a loud carefree laugh and pulls them both back in for a hug. "Love you, both of you."
One is Cheondoong, spotlights and Thunder. On stage he hears nothing, sees nothing, and only feels the pumping of his heart and the rush of his blood. The lights are blinding and his body moves of its own accord, spinning, jumping, clapping, twisting. On stage, he is Thunder, strong, charismatic and powerful, dancing to the beat, rapping and singing, shining like a star in the spotlight. There is and will be only one Thunder in his heart, the strong figure that steps out whenever Sanghyun is unable to do it. The calm gaze and stable emotions that appear on stage takes over the weak and unconfident small boy before. Thunder was a success. Thunder was a superstar.
But when times got too tough, he would shed that alter ego he created and just lay in his bed with some of his band members doing various things on the floor.
"Sanghyun hyung! Wanna join us?" and he smiles, because no matter how great Thunder was, to his members he'll always be shy and innocent Sanghyun, the boy whom they had trained with and lived with for the past two years.
"Coming!" he calls back, because such times were unlimited in his book of numbers; he had scratched an infinity sign next to the word "Happiness".