It's like this ( Read more... )

LJ Idol Week 8: Reprobate

Self image is a funny thing, really.

If someone had asked me if I could be described as "morally unscrupulous" I would have laughed and heartily agreed, possibly adding that that might only scratch the surface. I have the capacity for... unscrupulocity, I think, but when I sit and try and think of a concrete example, ( Read more... )

"It's good to have you back," they say after a lousy two day vacation. "How the hell do you manage to keep on top of everything?"

It's easy.

It's so easy it's stupid, but I'll tell you my secret anyway.

I think about killing myself almost every single day that I'm here ( Read more... )

On vacation with the family, on SecondNight we were sitting on the deck of our rented cabin talking about everything in the world.

Mom: Do you remember your little friend [Jimmy Dingus] from [when you were little]?
NotBatman: No.
Mom: He was a little older than you, and [some sort of descriptiony stuff that's boring and I don't remember anymore].
( Read more... )

It occurred to me earlier today that the reason I worry about unexpectedly passing out at work is that people would talk to me afterward.

"Just leave me the hell alone, ok? I fucking passed out, I don't need this shit too!!"

I was on my way into the office this morning, thinking about The Tupperware Incident and I thought, you know what would have been better than nothing happening? Is if it was like in Superman where he threw the funny Kryptonian Crystal and it grew into a little piece of Krypton ( Read more... )

Once, a long time ago, I think I was in Jr. High at the time, my weird cousin got married to someone who was somehow involved directly in the sale or production of Tupperware. (I call him my weird cousin because he was a great deal older than me and from the uninteresting part of my family - I have a hard time remembering that we're related, ( Read more... )

Back in the days of yore, before Al Gore invented the internet, one had to actually venture out and go to a thing called a "Library" when one wanted to research a given topic, generally for school ( Read more... )

Two posts in one day? I'm on fire! Unfortunately, adding their merits together doesn't even justify a single post between them ( Read more... )

Someday I want to poop in a urinal.

Maybe at work.

This makes me giggle at the urinal every time I think of it.

--J