Four days of updates from my trash nest on our sofa
Day seven:
Day eight: One of the weird things about ADHD is that it means my sense of time doesn't work. It has two modes, which is "Now" and "Not now," and often goes "What is happening now has always been happening, we have always lived in the castle/been on this train/had this job." Terrible for a mental health crash, but apparently really helpful for the current mess we're in? My brain has just gone "Oh, cool, being at home all the time is what we've always done!" and... I'm fine? Like, I might get less fine as Mike and Lex, who do have object permanency, have whatever feelings they're gonna have, but I'm surprisingly good right now.
... Yes this DOES probably explain why I'm constantly overbooking myself and terrible at sticking at deadlines, however did you guess?
Day nine: we played boardgames, because if we're all going to be at home anyway we might as well do SOMETHING together to acknowledge when we're not at work. Flamme Rouge is a game about... A cycling race, I can't remember which one, and it has a tour mode, so we did that! I came second, despite taking probably the most exhaustion of all of us. And Lex has finally found a way to get us to play the L5R card game with him again, which is to use the skirmish rules! (The actual card game is too complicated for me, and only two players at a time; the skirmish rules are stripped way down, which is better for me.) Aaaaaand we had our first Roll20 session of Pathfinder, which involved
splend rolling to seduce a plague demon and being a little horrified that it worked.
Day ten: OKAY, I am going to do things today! I'm determined! I set alarms and took my meds and did important phonecalls and everything!
Turns out that the place doing my ADHD meds isn't allowing people to collect prescriptions anymore, so all prescriptions are either being posted out or hand-delivered, which is simultaneously useful and terrifying. And my ADHD doctor has thirty prescriptions to go through, so we're not 100% sure when mine will get done. (Hopefully soonish, because I only have nine tablets left and need to allow time for Boots to not have enough of my meds in.)
Apart from that... Mike has a cold and Lex's hayfever is playing up, which is great timing. 4tw has just done unlocked a new season of stuff, so I'm trying to wrap up all of the missions that I'm in the middle of so I can dive in. I haven't looked at my diary in like a week, which is never a good plan because it means that I'm trying to remember things again and that's not how my brain works. I got paid today and feel very strange because it's been a week and I've forgotten what capitalism is.
My only jobs for today are "watch the first two episodes of The Untamed" and "make dough for a pizza base" so I guess gross sobbing and getting glued to dough are in my future! I'll report back on how they go. ♥
- Me: I don't need a new hyperfocus right now, I've got a bunch of things I want to sink my energy into.
Dragon Quest Builder 2, sneaking up behind me with a cricket bat: Oh? - I actually left the house! Walked to the supermarket to buy milk and bread, came back with three bags of stuff because "Eh, I'm out here anyway." It was really weird! I get the tram at bollocks o'clock in the morning, so I'm kind of used to the feeling of "Oh my god why are you out and about NOW? Love yourself more than this!" about people who are doing presumably the same thing as me! But it's weird to have it in the middle of the afternoon on a beautifully sunny day! And the security guards at the supermarket had turned off the automatic doors so they were manually letting people in and out, which: alarming.
- On the plus side(???), men have discovered personal space! I didn't have to do the awkward dodge-and-smile or pray that someone wasn't going to be a weirdo about, y'know, AFAB person being outside unchaperoned! It was spectactular, I would love for that to become the new normal please and thank you.
- ... Literally I started playing DQB2 at about 10am, took a break to go to the supermarket, and then didn't stop playing it until 2:30am. What the fuck.
Day eight: One of the weird things about ADHD is that it means my sense of time doesn't work. It has two modes, which is "Now" and "Not now," and often goes "What is happening now has always been happening, we have always lived in the castle/been on this train/had this job." Terrible for a mental health crash, but apparently really helpful for the current mess we're in? My brain has just gone "Oh, cool, being at home all the time is what we've always done!" and... I'm fine? Like, I might get less fine as Mike and Lex, who do have object permanency, have whatever feelings they're gonna have, but I'm surprisingly good right now.
... Yes this DOES probably explain why I'm constantly overbooking myself and terrible at sticking at deadlines, however did you guess?
Day nine: we played boardgames, because if we're all going to be at home anyway we might as well do SOMETHING together to acknowledge when we're not at work. Flamme Rouge is a game about... A cycling race, I can't remember which one, and it has a tour mode, so we did that! I came second, despite taking probably the most exhaustion of all of us. And Lex has finally found a way to get us to play the L5R card game with him again, which is to use the skirmish rules! (The actual card game is too complicated for me, and only two players at a time; the skirmish rules are stripped way down, which is better for me.) Aaaaaand we had our first Roll20 session of Pathfinder, which involved
splend rolling to seduce a plague demon and being a little horrified that it worked.
Day ten: OKAY, I am going to do things today! I'm determined! I set alarms and took my meds and did important phonecalls and everything!
Turns out that the place doing my ADHD meds isn't allowing people to collect prescriptions anymore, so all prescriptions are either being posted out or hand-delivered, which is simultaneously useful and terrifying. And my ADHD doctor has thirty prescriptions to go through, so we're not 100% sure when mine will get done. (Hopefully soonish, because I only have nine tablets left and need to allow time for Boots to not have enough of my meds in.)
Apart from that... Mike has a cold and Lex's hayfever is playing up, which is great timing. 4tw has just done unlocked a new season of stuff, so I'm trying to wrap up all of the missions that I'm in the middle of so I can dive in. I haven't looked at my diary in like a week, which is never a good plan because it means that I'm trying to remember things again and that's not how my brain works. I got paid today and feel very strange because it's been a week and I've forgotten what capitalism is.
My only jobs for today are "watch the first two episodes of The Untamed" and "make dough for a pizza base" so I guess gross sobbing and getting glued to dough are in my future! I'll report back on how they go. ♥