Metal showdown?
The longest conversation I have ever had with a stranger on the internet...
And I can assure you, neither am I more metal, nor more relentless than this internet stranger. He's really into this stuff.
(The first message was correcting my spelling of the word Cannibal. I had it Cannible. Heh...)
Kara ||| Internet Stranger
Uhhuh. Cause all the metalheads I know have perfect grammar and spelling. I must have forgotten. Thanks for reminding me.
Anytime!
I'm always here for correction of spelling and grammatical errors!
Hell, Dimmu Borgir, Necrophagist, They're fucking metal, and they're got wicked titles like, "Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia," and" Pseudopathological Vivisection."
Proper linguistics are totally metal.
I don't think it has anything to do with linguistics.
I think it's that you're clearly not metal enough unless you have a name that's difficult to pronounce and probably stems from something European, or unless your logo is a splatter of entrails that no one can read on the back of a T-shirt.
The fact is, it doesn't matter, cause most of their listeners are illiterate or senseless from too much headbanging, anyway.
Only MOST listeners are! Aside from the ones who are simultaneously both musicians and listeners.
And have had enough free time to read the dictionary.
And as far as the length of the name?
That because long names are pure abominable eviscerating metal.
Which is fun.
And they confuse the fuck out of people who are clearly not metal enough, and lack the balls to crank up REAL metal, and have a Gorgasm.
First of all, I think anyone with enough free time to read the dictionary implies something entirely different and completely UNmetal.
Pick up something with a plot, or atleast a newspaper, you poor bastard.
The only time I think a band is entitled to a long name, is if the band is ranked among the most asskicking European black metal. Then they can have to most fucked up name they want, cause they probably won't speak English anyway. What ever happened to simple, grotesque names about dead things? Like Cannibal (better watch my spelling, woops...) Corpse? Or plain old blasphemy, like Lamb of God?
And you're right, I do lack the balls to crank up some real metal, but I can crank my ovaries just fine.
Ahhh, yes. At one time I was un-metal.
More like a soft rubber.
Latex, or something of the sort.
However, I then picked up something much more metal, such as a guitar.
And as far as European bands with long names go, the heavier European bands have shorter names. Scandinavian bands, such as Mayhem, plowing the way for mass destruction.
And most Norwegian bands that rape anyway speak English, regardless.
It's generally better to stick to Gore metal, as I said earlier.
Gorgasm, Gorguts, Etc.
The Gore genre is far heavier than all, as far as I care.
However, for actual technical speed and such, I'd go for the heavier Black metal bands, like Deicide.
They're fun.
And have a badass zombie priest in their music video for, "Homage For Satan."
NOTHING is more metal than a badass zombie priest.
I won't lie to you. I... am musically challenged. If I pick up a guitar, small children scream for me to put it down before they have to disembowel themselves because of how terrible it sounds.
But I know what I like to listen to, and that's metal (among other things), whether I can pronounce the band names or not. I was un-metal too (though I didn't read dictionaries) but that changed. And it all started with 80's power metal.
I think zombie priests are pretty friggen awesome, yes, but nothing will impress me more than GWAR's performance at SotU last summer. If it's one thing I don't mind being drenched in, it's the Pope's blood, and gwar spooge.
Indeed! I was into the power metal, too. Manowar was my favorite. One of my eye-openers.
And hey. Most people scream at me to put down the guitar, too!
Except for the metalheads.
And you know what?
You are a lucky douche. I couldn't get to see Gwar.
I was fucking pissed off. Punched a baby.
But I got to see Slayer. And Bodom. And Mastodon. And Lamb of God. And... Thine Eyes Bleed.
And I'm going to Dimmu, so it's all good.
You bastard! Bodom is.... love. Whoever says that Herman Li is a better guitarist than Alexi Laiho should be castrated. And Lamb of God is lovely... along with... SlayerandMastodonandThineEyesBleedmumblemumblemumb le. Stupid Unholy Alliance possibly not coming back to Vancouver cause we're just 'not metal enough'. Fuckers. And Dimmu just came here or is coming soon, but it isn't an all ages show and age limitations can eat my ass with a spoon.
And it's good that you punched a baby when you couldn't see them. Gwar would have wanted it that way.
In all actuality, Laiho sucked assticles on stage...
He fucked up TOO MANY times.
And as for christraping chops on the six strings, check out the solo for, "Through The Fire And Flames," by 'Force.
Other than that, I don't really care for Dragonforce.
But yeah, Laiho's a damn fine musician in the studio.
Actually, that's a good point.
Yea, I'm familiar with that song...
I just saw Dragonforce and Chimaira (with Killswitch, eww..) and they sucked my metaphorical cock live. The only thing holding my attention was the epic guitar solos, the leaps across stage in tight white pants with fans blowing their long, girlie locks of hair. Metal hair shouldn't be deep conditioned, ass-length and permed. That and the 300+ people that I was stuck in between held me pretty good.
I'd be afraid to see Bodom in case it ruined it for me.
Too true... But keep in mind, Li WAS with Demoniac. They kicked monkey testicles.
However, I've got to say... Killswitch... Only reason I stayed was because Adam was funny as fuck. And insulted the non-moshers.
And I was with a bro.
But yeah. Honestly, Seeing Bodom live DID kind of kill it for me.
But then, I saw H&H live... Megadeth opened...
That was a DAMN fine show.
fuckinggoddammit.
I missed Heaven and Hell, too. Fuck that. Whatever, Ozzy over Dio anyway. Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself to console myself over missing it.
I left when Killswitch came on, because this massive army of kids with swishy haircuts and red and black stripey wrist bands seemed to come out of nowhere, and I didn't want to be there when anyone started crying and spilling emo everywhere.
Haha!
Dio totally kicks Ozzy's ass!
It was a show worth remembering.
And getting both a shirt, and bandanna.
Because I'm cool like that.
I've been arguing with everyone I know who went to H&H about Dio vs. Ozzy for months, and I swear this argument is getting old. Heaven and Hell wouldn't be what it was without Ozzy being around first. And whoever heard of Rainbow anyway? No one, that's who. He's got Ozzy's project to thank for his fame.
...but I still wish I was there and had a T-shirt...
Too true, but Ozzy's a tired name.
Overpopular.
And too burnt out to be of any good to society, now.
Plus, he can't work a remote.
Pretty sad.
See, that's where you're wrong.
I'll be proud if I'm so partied and metal'd out by that age that I can't work a remote. It'll give me a sense of accomlishment.
And he does wonderful things for society! Like... Reality TV! And... offspring like the ever-annoying Kelly and Jack Osbourne, who also contribute to Reality TV!
Actually... I think you might be right.
This conversation goes on, but that's about enough for me.
And I can assure you, neither am I more metal, nor more relentless than this internet stranger. He's really into this stuff.
(The first message was correcting my spelling of the word Cannibal. I had it Cannible. Heh...)
Kara ||| Internet Stranger
Uhhuh. Cause all the metalheads I know have perfect grammar and spelling. I must have forgotten. Thanks for reminding me.
Anytime!
I'm always here for correction of spelling and grammatical errors!
Hell, Dimmu Borgir, Necrophagist, They're fucking metal, and they're got wicked titles like, "Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia," and" Pseudopathological Vivisection."
Proper linguistics are totally metal.
I don't think it has anything to do with linguistics.
I think it's that you're clearly not metal enough unless you have a name that's difficult to pronounce and probably stems from something European, or unless your logo is a splatter of entrails that no one can read on the back of a T-shirt.
The fact is, it doesn't matter, cause most of their listeners are illiterate or senseless from too much headbanging, anyway.
Only MOST listeners are! Aside from the ones who are simultaneously both musicians and listeners.
And have had enough free time to read the dictionary.
And as far as the length of the name?
That because long names are pure abominable eviscerating metal.
Which is fun.
And they confuse the fuck out of people who are clearly not metal enough, and lack the balls to crank up REAL metal, and have a Gorgasm.
First of all, I think anyone with enough free time to read the dictionary implies something entirely different and completely UNmetal.
Pick up something with a plot, or atleast a newspaper, you poor bastard.
The only time I think a band is entitled to a long name, is if the band is ranked among the most asskicking European black metal. Then they can have to most fucked up name they want, cause they probably won't speak English anyway. What ever happened to simple, grotesque names about dead things? Like Cannibal (better watch my spelling, woops...) Corpse? Or plain old blasphemy, like Lamb of God?
And you're right, I do lack the balls to crank up some real metal, but I can crank my ovaries just fine.
Ahhh, yes. At one time I was un-metal.
More like a soft rubber.
Latex, or something of the sort.
However, I then picked up something much more metal, such as a guitar.
And as far as European bands with long names go, the heavier European bands have shorter names. Scandinavian bands, such as Mayhem, plowing the way for mass destruction.
And most Norwegian bands that rape anyway speak English, regardless.
It's generally better to stick to Gore metal, as I said earlier.
Gorgasm, Gorguts, Etc.
The Gore genre is far heavier than all, as far as I care.
However, for actual technical speed and such, I'd go for the heavier Black metal bands, like Deicide.
They're fun.
And have a badass zombie priest in their music video for, "Homage For Satan."
NOTHING is more metal than a badass zombie priest.
I won't lie to you. I... am musically challenged. If I pick up a guitar, small children scream for me to put it down before they have to disembowel themselves because of how terrible it sounds.
But I know what I like to listen to, and that's metal (among other things), whether I can pronounce the band names or not. I was un-metal too (though I didn't read dictionaries) but that changed. And it all started with 80's power metal.
I think zombie priests are pretty friggen awesome, yes, but nothing will impress me more than GWAR's performance at SotU last summer. If it's one thing I don't mind being drenched in, it's the Pope's blood, and gwar spooge.
Indeed! I was into the power metal, too. Manowar was my favorite. One of my eye-openers.
And hey. Most people scream at me to put down the guitar, too!
Except for the metalheads.
And you know what?
You are a lucky douche. I couldn't get to see Gwar.
I was fucking pissed off. Punched a baby.
But I got to see Slayer. And Bodom. And Mastodon. And Lamb of God. And... Thine Eyes Bleed.
And I'm going to Dimmu, so it's all good.
You bastard! Bodom is.... love. Whoever says that Herman Li is a better guitarist than Alexi Laiho should be castrated. And Lamb of God is lovely... along with... SlayerandMastodonandThineEyesBleedmumblemumblemumb le. Stupid Unholy Alliance possibly not coming back to Vancouver cause we're just 'not metal enough'. Fuckers. And Dimmu just came here or is coming soon, but it isn't an all ages show and age limitations can eat my ass with a spoon.
And it's good that you punched a baby when you couldn't see them. Gwar would have wanted it that way.
In all actuality, Laiho sucked assticles on stage...
He fucked up TOO MANY times.
And as for christraping chops on the six strings, check out the solo for, "Through The Fire And Flames," by 'Force.
Other than that, I don't really care for Dragonforce.
But yeah, Laiho's a damn fine musician in the studio.
Actually, that's a good point.
Yea, I'm familiar with that song...
I just saw Dragonforce and Chimaira (with Killswitch, eww..) and they sucked my metaphorical cock live. The only thing holding my attention was the epic guitar solos, the leaps across stage in tight white pants with fans blowing their long, girlie locks of hair. Metal hair shouldn't be deep conditioned, ass-length and permed. That and the 300+ people that I was stuck in between held me pretty good.
I'd be afraid to see Bodom in case it ruined it for me.
Too true... But keep in mind, Li WAS with Demoniac. They kicked monkey testicles.
However, I've got to say... Killswitch... Only reason I stayed was because Adam was funny as fuck. And insulted the non-moshers.
And I was with a bro.
But yeah. Honestly, Seeing Bodom live DID kind of kill it for me.
But then, I saw H&H live... Megadeth opened...
That was a DAMN fine show.
fuckinggoddammit.
I missed Heaven and Hell, too. Fuck that. Whatever, Ozzy over Dio anyway. Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself to console myself over missing it.
I left when Killswitch came on, because this massive army of kids with swishy haircuts and red and black stripey wrist bands seemed to come out of nowhere, and I didn't want to be there when anyone started crying and spilling emo everywhere.
Haha!
Dio totally kicks Ozzy's ass!
It was a show worth remembering.
And getting both a shirt, and bandanna.
Because I'm cool like that.
I've been arguing with everyone I know who went to H&H about Dio vs. Ozzy for months, and I swear this argument is getting old. Heaven and Hell wouldn't be what it was without Ozzy being around first. And whoever heard of Rainbow anyway? No one, that's who. He's got Ozzy's project to thank for his fame.
...but I still wish I was there and had a T-shirt...
Too true, but Ozzy's a tired name.
Overpopular.
And too burnt out to be of any good to society, now.
Plus, he can't work a remote.
Pretty sad.
See, that's where you're wrong.
I'll be proud if I'm so partied and metal'd out by that age that I can't work a remote. It'll give me a sense of accomlishment.
And he does wonderful things for society! Like... Reality TV! And... offspring like the ever-annoying Kelly and Jack Osbourne, who also contribute to Reality TV!
Actually... I think you might be right.
This conversation goes on, but that's about enough for me.