"Live a life less ordinary, live a life extraordinary..."
I haven't had the motivation to write anything in ages. In fact, I straight up hates computers. They are the bringers of bad news at night time just before you go to sleep, and they make you want to smack your head on things for ever going on them in the first place. On the other hand, they are the bringers of information, fun conversations, and awesome-ness in general.
All I'm going to say about the rally at the art gallery on 4:20 is, I really don't like when my friends have bad trips and like... seizures. But what can you do? I had a good time.
I've been hanging out with a lot of people I never hang out with. Which is weird, but really fucking cool.
Hailee and Cody came for a visit, and much love to them, cause, you know, well... I love them! We went and played at a park and it was good times.
I hung out with Sara during our free block and we talked about life the universe and everything. It was grand.
Another free block, I went out for lunch with Amy, and when we came back, we stopped to smoke a few bowls with Kaitlyn and Sadie who are also my little loves whome I adore.
My darling Alley Pearson and I went for a skate and had mucho fun, but I was sad I didn't get to spend more time with her.
I've been hanging out with Christoph again which is pretty rock-awesome, but our schedules always seem to conflict which is a touch lame. But we're gonna skank it up at Slightly Stoopid in August. Or atleast we better.
I went to Kirstie's brithday and for the time I was there I spent it chilling with Jess and Lauren. I miss Jess. She's my little rainbow love muffin. And I've just recently met Lauren, but she's cool beans.
I went longboarding with Rogan today, which was sweet. I learned a few new things and had a really pleasent conversation.
On another note, which is completely and utterly devastating, JP no longer will have any contact with me. He even deleted me off of his Nex list. I cried my eyes out. It just goes back to how much it sucks that you can love someone with every fibre of your being for a solid year, and preach to high heavens about how they're your best friend, and how they practically saved your life, and how special they are to you, and then you get a boyfriend who they used to be friends with and they hate you both. Well, JP. I love you. With all my heart. I've loved you since day one when you were an angry sleeping carcass on the dirty cement floor of Trav's basement at 3am. I've spent countless hours with you, making fun of eachother or curled up within a hair's breadth of eachother for hours watching gorey zombie movies or showing eachother bands we like. I love you, I love you, I love you. I don't know what went wrong in our friendship, and I really thought you'd be in my life forever. Like... take me to grad, and be my wingman when I'm at awkward get-togethers. I know that's so juvenile, but I thought everything was perfect, cause we never ruined it. We didn't let anything get in the way. But jealousy got in the way in the end I guess. If you ever want me in your life again, I'll abandon everything I'm doing to be by your side, just like I always have. That's not fair to you or me, but I know I'd do it for you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucking love you. I can't stress that enough. And I really thought I proved how much I cared. I didn't have to do everything for you that I did. But I did, and even though everyone said it wasn't, I still think it was worth it. But hell, you and I both know I always get attached to the people who abuse me most. I guess it's not hard to get stuck to someone when they're walking all over you every day. I love you, JP. I really, really do. I can't listen to certain songs, I can't look at certain pictures, I can't watch certain movies... nothing. Cause it hurts cause they were things that we had exclusively to our friendship.
When I was crying you never left my side. When I was dying you never left my side. You're always, always there for me.
You're my angel without wings.
(I don't think I'll ever listen to that song again without being upset)
Love you, boo. But fuck you too.
Friends don't do that shit. You could have at least said goodbye you stupid fucker.
I wrote this so long ago for you and you said it made your day and that made me smile while I was crying to you on the phone over some asshole like I usually did. I think all I ever saught was your approval, not your sympathy. I still mean every word...
Before you go and get famous…
To the one who knows me better.
The only person who will laugh,
Instead of run,
When I tell you how hard it is to sit down
After a bikini wax.
The only person who appreciates
The concentration it takes
To play Final Fantasy
And have sex at the same time.
The one who somehow knows
That vegan spooge Is less bitter.
You are the one
Who can save me from myself at 3am
When I can’t stand in circles,
Cause the floor is squishy.
You are my other half.
The one I don’t tell people about.
Not because I’m ashamed of you,
But because they’ll want you for themselves.
But, they can’t have you,
Because
God dammit
Somehow
You’re my best friend.
And it’s never mattered
How well I know you
Or don’t know you at all.
You can have your walls.
I’ll never try to tear them down.
Because, like all things In this life and the next
In time they will deteriorate
Crumble and fall.
And down the road,
Maybe we’ll get married
On the Enterprise
And I’ll learn Klingon Just for you.
And down the road,
Maybe we’ll get our freak on.
Gross, eh?
Hopefully, I’ll be sleeping If it does happen.
And down the road,
You’ll stop poking my love handles
Cause I won’t have them anymore.
I’ll be one fine piece of meat.
But that’s a maybe
Down the road.
And I don’t care about that now.
I wrote you this,
Cause I know you’d laugh
If I said it to your face.
Because compliments between us,
Are as rare
As you cooking something edible.
But, god knows I hate you
And I adore you twice as much as that.
I wish you luck.
But I don’t wish you fame.
Because fame will take you away from me.
And then I’d have no one
To unleash me teenaged angst on.
And you’re pretty much
My best friend.
I miss you. And I'll probably miss you forever until you come back.
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?
I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
I hate losing friends. Especially ones who I love more than anything in this entire goddamn world and it gets completely disreguarded, or completely obstructed by what I think must be jealousy. JP, sweetheart, you were my world when everything else was crumbling around me. My anchor, my support, my life. Then you went away and I had to rebuild my own life. And you came back. And you thought you didn't fit. But you did fit. You still fit. You'll always fit. Forever and ever there's a place for you. I loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou. And I don't think that'll stop any time soon.
Sighhhh.
It's my birthday in three days, but I have a whole weekend of adventures to contend with.
Friday - Ninjaspy, followed by a birthday party for Panozzo at Joel's.
Saturday - My fat, drunken barbeque, followed by a fat drunken riot of a party at Sage's.
Sunday - Give Mommy presents and then go on a crazy adventure with Jeremie.
I also have a dentist appointment on the following Tuesday. But that's irrelevent.
BUT...
What isn't irrelevent is that I booked my tattoo appointment for the 16th. WOOT.
Live it, love it, learn from it.
Everything comes full circle.
KaraDawn.
All I'm going to say about the rally at the art gallery on 4:20 is, I really don't like when my friends have bad trips and like... seizures. But what can you do? I had a good time.
I've been hanging out with a lot of people I never hang out with. Which is weird, but really fucking cool.
Hailee and Cody came for a visit, and much love to them, cause, you know, well... I love them! We went and played at a park and it was good times.
I hung out with Sara during our free block and we talked about life the universe and everything. It was grand.
Another free block, I went out for lunch with Amy, and when we came back, we stopped to smoke a few bowls with Kaitlyn and Sadie who are also my little loves whome I adore.
My darling Alley Pearson and I went for a skate and had mucho fun, but I was sad I didn't get to spend more time with her.
I've been hanging out with Christoph again which is pretty rock-awesome, but our schedules always seem to conflict which is a touch lame. But we're gonna skank it up at Slightly Stoopid in August. Or atleast we better.
I went to Kirstie's brithday and for the time I was there I spent it chilling with Jess and Lauren. I miss Jess. She's my little rainbow love muffin. And I've just recently met Lauren, but she's cool beans.
I went longboarding with Rogan today, which was sweet. I learned a few new things and had a really pleasent conversation.
On another note, which is completely and utterly devastating, JP no longer will have any contact with me. He even deleted me off of his Nex list. I cried my eyes out. It just goes back to how much it sucks that you can love someone with every fibre of your being for a solid year, and preach to high heavens about how they're your best friend, and how they practically saved your life, and how special they are to you, and then you get a boyfriend who they used to be friends with and they hate you both. Well, JP. I love you. With all my heart. I've loved you since day one when you were an angry sleeping carcass on the dirty cement floor of Trav's basement at 3am. I've spent countless hours with you, making fun of eachother or curled up within a hair's breadth of eachother for hours watching gorey zombie movies or showing eachother bands we like. I love you, I love you, I love you. I don't know what went wrong in our friendship, and I really thought you'd be in my life forever. Like... take me to grad, and be my wingman when I'm at awkward get-togethers. I know that's so juvenile, but I thought everything was perfect, cause we never ruined it. We didn't let anything get in the way. But jealousy got in the way in the end I guess. If you ever want me in your life again, I'll abandon everything I'm doing to be by your side, just like I always have. That's not fair to you or me, but I know I'd do it for you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucking love you. I can't stress that enough. And I really thought I proved how much I cared. I didn't have to do everything for you that I did. But I did, and even though everyone said it wasn't, I still think it was worth it. But hell, you and I both know I always get attached to the people who abuse me most. I guess it's not hard to get stuck to someone when they're walking all over you every day. I love you, JP. I really, really do. I can't listen to certain songs, I can't look at certain pictures, I can't watch certain movies... nothing. Cause it hurts cause they were things that we had exclusively to our friendship.
When I was crying you never left my side. When I was dying you never left my side. You're always, always there for me.
You're my angel without wings.
(I don't think I'll ever listen to that song again without being upset)
Love you, boo. But fuck you too.
Friends don't do that shit. You could have at least said goodbye you stupid fucker.
I wrote this so long ago for you and you said it made your day and that made me smile while I was crying to you on the phone over some asshole like I usually did. I think all I ever saught was your approval, not your sympathy. I still mean every word...
Before you go and get famous…
To the one who knows me better.
The only person who will laugh,
Instead of run,
When I tell you how hard it is to sit down
After a bikini wax.
The only person who appreciates
The concentration it takes
To play Final Fantasy
And have sex at the same time.
The one who somehow knows
That vegan spooge Is less bitter.
You are the one
Who can save me from myself at 3am
When I can’t stand in circles,
Cause the floor is squishy.
You are my other half.
The one I don’t tell people about.
Not because I’m ashamed of you,
But because they’ll want you for themselves.
But, they can’t have you,
Because
God dammit
Somehow
You’re my best friend.
And it’s never mattered
How well I know you
Or don’t know you at all.
You can have your walls.
I’ll never try to tear them down.
Because, like all things In this life and the next
In time they will deteriorate
Crumble and fall.
And down the road,
Maybe we’ll get married
On the Enterprise
And I’ll learn Klingon Just for you.
And down the road,
Maybe we’ll get our freak on.
Gross, eh?
Hopefully, I’ll be sleeping If it does happen.
And down the road,
You’ll stop poking my love handles
Cause I won’t have them anymore.
I’ll be one fine piece of meat.
But that’s a maybe
Down the road.
And I don’t care about that now.
I wrote you this,
Cause I know you’d laugh
If I said it to your face.
Because compliments between us,
Are as rare
As you cooking something edible.
But, god knows I hate you
And I adore you twice as much as that.
I wish you luck.
But I don’t wish you fame.
Because fame will take you away from me.
And then I’d have no one
To unleash me teenaged angst on.
And you’re pretty much
My best friend.
I miss you. And I'll probably miss you forever until you come back.
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?
I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
I hate losing friends. Especially ones who I love more than anything in this entire goddamn world and it gets completely disreguarded, or completely obstructed by what I think must be jealousy. JP, sweetheart, you were my world when everything else was crumbling around me. My anchor, my support, my life. Then you went away and I had to rebuild my own life. And you came back. And you thought you didn't fit. But you did fit. You still fit. You'll always fit. Forever and ever there's a place for you. I loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou. And I don't think that'll stop any time soon.
Sighhhh.
It's my birthday in three days, but I have a whole weekend of adventures to contend with.
Friday - Ninjaspy, followed by a birthday party for Panozzo at Joel's.
Saturday - My fat, drunken barbeque, followed by a fat drunken riot of a party at Sage's.
Sunday - Give Mommy presents and then go on a crazy adventure with Jeremie.
I also have a dentist appointment on the following Tuesday. But that's irrelevent.
BUT...
What isn't irrelevent is that I booked my tattoo appointment for the 16th. WOOT.
Live it, love it, learn from it.
Everything comes full circle.
KaraDawn.