I feel empty. It's finals time, and I feel empty. I want to enjoy Christmas. I sure don't think I do...

The idea is to skip lunch and give the money you save to fight hunger. I signed up and didn't eat in res halls, but then got hungry and also enjoyed the feeling a little too much. Now I feel guilty for eating. But I also feel hypocritical for telling my bffs to eat but not doing so myself.

I just saw someone's pictures from Prom on Facebook and I want to cry. I missed prom. I missed saying goodbye to all those people that I'll probably never actually talk to again. I missed my senior year. I hated my senior year, so it's not all that bad, but just sentimental stuff ( Read more... )

The weekend was incredible. I had such an amazing time. I hope ZP did too. It would be sweet if he came up here. I may not be here though. I talk like I'll transfer, but we all know I won't. Even though I want to. Not because this is a horrible place, I like it enough, it's just not for me. I'll do fine here, I know I will. I just want to ( Read more... )

I'm in such a bad mood. I have been since I found out about my paper today. I shouldn't let that control everything. But then I got tired. And I just wanted a picture. Then I couldn't get one. I pretended to be mad and went and put myself into a worse mood. I don't think Zach is having fun. I feel like someone in a coma must feel. ( Read more... )

How long will it be before he grows bored with me? I suppose I will just try to enjoy things while they last. I should just end it before it goes too far. I don't see the end from here, but surely it will come. I'll get restless. Not now. It may be a few years. But I will. I will not marry. I will not subject anyone to me. Not forever. ( Read more... )

Saw the movie tonight. It really upset me. I saw myself in so many of the characters. Mostly in the mother. In the scene where she falls apart on the exercise machine. I just remembered how I'm going to be old and alone. I don't want to be. But the whole movie just reminded me that I don't believe in love. Anymore. I'm not going to get ( Read more... )

Why does that confuse me so much? Things are going well and I don't understand why. He didn't try anything. Completely respectful. More than just respectful. And I start questioning why, what's wrong with me? Then I realize how far I've slipped. I meet a great guy and I don't get it. I want to push him away. I want to pick a fight and end ( Read more... )

I guess I got my Quiet Time. I got what I wanted, but I would give anything for it not to have happened.

I love you so much, Baylee. Be here with us and watch over us all as we travel to Guthrie. Keep us safe. You really are a saint now.

HUGS!!!

The only way to make this evening end better would have been to fall asleep watching Scrubs. But then there's always that problem of waking up ( Read more... )