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[noonooblue]

Mom and I were looking at the Quran today. She was trying to teach me Arabic again. I think I'm ready to learn about Islam. I think it is time now. She was talking about her life and what religion meant to her growing up. She explained how she was in fear rather than admiration. I began thinking about codes and deciphering. It is interesting how

Comments

[carrion_bird]

I feel the same awe you seem to about the secrets concealed within written language. I have been told I took naturall to the word from a young age; my goal is currently to major in computer programming, simply to get that much closer to truly comprehending this connection between the world itself, and describing the world.

I get angry with myself when I realize that there are 14 year-olds I know who are already programming, and I don't know any other languages besides English and some rudimentary HTML. I compare myself to them. Just like what you mentioned about "others"...if there were no "other" here, there would be no problem here. But I see this "other" and compare myself to it and in my estimation, I come up short.

I feel like I was put here for a reason. I always have.

There is an "invisible" dragon who tells me the same, as well as an "invisible" deva. A visiting angel has as well. I have to wonder, is it true...or am I insane? I could be delusional. I could be imagining these things. It's frightening when the thing that gives you the largest sense of meaning may technically be the most meaningless thing in your life.

I agree with you about Americans not experiencing enough true pain. I am often condemned for my point of view on 9-11: I think it was a good thing in a way, and part of me was glad when it happened...there are people in the Middle East who continually live in fear of bombs, whether "terrorist" or "military" (I don't see the difference), or tank shells, while we Americans live such an insulated life by comparison...we are not invincible, though, nor are we exempt from the severities of life, and the events of 9-11 served to remind us of that. No, I'm not glad thousands of people died...but I'm glad we got a reality check. And by comparison, we're still getting off light. We are not "God's chosen people"...to me the idea of God/Allah/Brahma/Wakanda/Whoever choosing a people is ridiculous. Too many people want to focus on our differences when our similarities are what can save us.

[noonooblue]

"It's frightening when the thing that gives you the largest sense of meaning may technically be the most meaningless thing in your life."

I totally agree with that statement. I was actually talking to my mother yesterday about that. I was showing her my sketchbook. In one of the entries I decided to show a landscape which represented me. I was trying to articulate my internal world, how I see and feel and how I make sense of things. I had a guru figure/mentor living in a cave under the ground. The wisdom of the mentor was accessed by smelling a flower. The flower resided on the surface of my landscape and the roots grew deep in the ground dangling above the mentors head. I was trying to explain how I learn from the world. I am very sensitive and I appreciate the subtle things. I think if an imposter walked into my world looking for wisdom, they'd probably start digging to find that cave. Finding hidden knowledge can be done so simply. I think that simple, sensitive way has pulled me in and out of so many dimensions of being. It's made me mentally ill , but also extremely imaginative. When you are aware of the fluidity of the world around you, you are invited to see and experience euphoria and dementia.

My brother is turning 14 in november. He is a genius with computers. I think the world is more technology oriented now. He can program very well, but he hasn't developed emotionally. I think your talents lie in various aspects of your personality and it hasn't been fully focused on computers. So don't get angry, just be happy that you're probably more emotionaly agile than a pimple faced teen.

YAY!