Surgery on the flip side..
I survived!
So I feel really comfortable and happy about the surgery now that it's over with, lol. The experience was disturbing on some levels but I was thankful to have a really amazing doctor who made the experience as calm and comfortable as possible.
Oh btw... ickiness described below. Read at your own risk.
My mother was a bit of a terror this weekend. Lots of crazy comments to the point when once particular zinger she stopped and said "Ok, wow that was rough, even for me. Sorry."
She pitched a mini fit when I said I did not want her boyfriend to come along to my appointment but he understood so he went fishing instead. I go in and get my stats. I've lost weight but my blood pressure was elevated. Each time I've gone in my bp has been elevated. It's only elevated when I'm in this office (shows on the stats for the other docs as well) because it's such an emotional experience for me that I have mini panic attacks. Anyway, I go in and get ready, she comes in and gets things set up. The very start I ask about why we're doing this with me awake. She talks about she first started doing this procedure on older women who can no longer handle anesthesia and realized that the procedure could be done cheaper, easier and with less complications this way. It calms me more. So she's down there prepping everything, lots of catheters, long needle looking things, etc. all very Saw-ish looking. She's doing stuff down there and her nurse is faffing about with the cd player and she suddenly says loudly "Oh no! This is terrible!" and I get panicky and say "Umm can we avoid the word "terrible" when you're down there?" and she laughs and says she's talking to her nurse and her musical choice for the selection. There's lots of pressure, a bit of pain but she uses a great deal of lidocaine and something else to numb everything. Then the nurse stands on a stool above me and uses the other sonogram to locate the growth. In order to find it she has to use almost all her body weight to push down and have it show up. It was very fascinating and slightly disturbing. So she starts and is cutting away bits and pieces of it and I feel a strange cutting/pulling sensation which is painful but tolerable. Ugh, it was everywhere. She finishes cutting it out but says "Ok here comes the uncomfortable part", I said "Oh so this is the uncomfortable part huh? lol" she uses something to clean out any extra debris and blood from the uterus and that was painful. Every instrument she pulls out is just covered in blood, gel, and anesthesia and goes everywhere. Literally it's all over my legs, somehow my shirt wasn't pulled up enough and it soaked up blood and mess halfway up my back. When I finally got up it was a bit over whelming as there was tissue, blood, bloody utensils all across the tray, the blanket, sheet, absorbent pads, the bed I was laying on, all over me. I expect it to be like the biopsies from before, a small bit of tissue in a specimen container but the tissue was spread out across the tray. She was taking these 12 inch long tweezers and picking up the tissue and wiping it into the container while talking to me. Just so strange. I stood up and looked and blood had pooled into the cracks of the bed and down onto the floor. I took my shirt off and washed it out in the sink, since it was fresh it came out but my shirt was soaked. While I didn't feel like I had undergone surgery because of the anesthesia, it certainly looked like it. I'm really thankful to my doctor for not making this traumatic and being such a smart, efficient and kind doctor in terms of her bedside manner. I cannot imagine having the other doctor who doesnt use any anesthesia do this procedure. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it at all. Ill get the results on Friday from pathology. I feel quite comfortable and relieved now. Once it was finished and finally made it home I went straight to bed around 6pm and woke up today.
And that was my experience of surgery awake.
So I feel really comfortable and happy about the surgery now that it's over with, lol. The experience was disturbing on some levels but I was thankful to have a really amazing doctor who made the experience as calm and comfortable as possible.
Oh btw... ickiness described below. Read at your own risk.
My mother was a bit of a terror this weekend. Lots of crazy comments to the point when once particular zinger she stopped and said "Ok, wow that was rough, even for me. Sorry."
She pitched a mini fit when I said I did not want her boyfriend to come along to my appointment but he understood so he went fishing instead. I go in and get my stats. I've lost weight but my blood pressure was elevated. Each time I've gone in my bp has been elevated. It's only elevated when I'm in this office (shows on the stats for the other docs as well) because it's such an emotional experience for me that I have mini panic attacks. Anyway, I go in and get ready, she comes in and gets things set up. The very start I ask about why we're doing this with me awake. She talks about she first started doing this procedure on older women who can no longer handle anesthesia and realized that the procedure could be done cheaper, easier and with less complications this way. It calms me more. So she's down there prepping everything, lots of catheters, long needle looking things, etc. all very Saw-ish looking. She's doing stuff down there and her nurse is faffing about with the cd player and she suddenly says loudly "Oh no! This is terrible!" and I get panicky and say "Umm can we avoid the word "terrible" when you're down there?" and she laughs and says she's talking to her nurse and her musical choice for the selection. There's lots of pressure, a bit of pain but she uses a great deal of lidocaine and something else to numb everything. Then the nurse stands on a stool above me and uses the other sonogram to locate the growth. In order to find it she has to use almost all her body weight to push down and have it show up. It was very fascinating and slightly disturbing. So she starts and is cutting away bits and pieces of it and I feel a strange cutting/pulling sensation which is painful but tolerable. Ugh, it was everywhere. She finishes cutting it out but says "Ok here comes the uncomfortable part", I said "Oh so this is the uncomfortable part huh? lol" she uses something to clean out any extra debris and blood from the uterus and that was painful. Every instrument she pulls out is just covered in blood, gel, and anesthesia and goes everywhere. Literally it's all over my legs, somehow my shirt wasn't pulled up enough and it soaked up blood and mess halfway up my back. When I finally got up it was a bit over whelming as there was tissue, blood, bloody utensils all across the tray, the blanket, sheet, absorbent pads, the bed I was laying on, all over me. I expect it to be like the biopsies from before, a small bit of tissue in a specimen container but the tissue was spread out across the tray. She was taking these 12 inch long tweezers and picking up the tissue and wiping it into the container while talking to me. Just so strange. I stood up and looked and blood had pooled into the cracks of the bed and down onto the floor. I took my shirt off and washed it out in the sink, since it was fresh it came out but my shirt was soaked. While I didn't feel like I had undergone surgery because of the anesthesia, it certainly looked like it. I'm really thankful to my doctor for not making this traumatic and being such a smart, efficient and kind doctor in terms of her bedside manner. I cannot imagine having the other doctor who doesnt use any anesthesia do this procedure. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it at all. Ill get the results on Friday from pathology. I feel quite comfortable and relieved now. Once it was finished and finally made it home I went straight to bed around 6pm and woke up today.
And that was my experience of surgery awake.