(no subject)
It's life Jim, but not as we know it..
The normal, things are fine. I had a friend over yesterday so that was enough motivation to clean the house top to bottom. Now Im happy I don't have to do it this weekend. It's a 5 day weekend for me actually because of the surgery. I've shoved the surgery to the back part of my mind. All has been fine though today I had a moment going through the Aflac cancer policy I have. Just a bit overwhelming. Im trying not to put the cart before the horse for sure, but I've never had a growth like this. I feel blindsided in a way. More, I feel betrayed by my body. Like I should have felt it, could feel the growth developing or invading.
Anyway, Tuesday it's all out and then I await the results.
Waiting...and waiting.
I'm waiting to hear back about a few jobs I've applied to, I'm waiting to hear back if I was chosen for an International Master Artist/Teacher Conference in Norway, I'm waiting to hear back for these few things which add up to seem like a million.
In the meantime I am blessed that my students are amazingly kind and loving to me. It does make me feel loved when the roughest, toughest, biggest kid in the bunch came in the class today, came to me where I was sitting down at my desk and laid her head on my shoulder telling me she didn't feel well, could she just come sit by me today. Of course I have to gently tell her she can't hug on me as it's not appropriate, but sometimes these kids need a caring person, and sometimes Im that person. And that is nice in these times. I had a long discussion over this week with another young lady who called to me in the hallway, double over in pain. The end story was she was trying to get a boys attention and get him to touch her, she could only figure by telling him to punch her. When he did, it really hurt her physically. I spoke with him, but I had a longer conversation with her. After admonishing her and telling her how I was disappointed that she lied and worried that she protected someone who'd hurt her, I talked to her about the importance of safety and honesty. She came to me the next morning and gave me a heartfelt apology for lying and the entire situation. She's a great kid so I sat down and just chatted with her. Turns out she lives at home with an ex step dad, no bio parents in the picture and no female role models. I talked to her about honesty and character and about how I can understand that when you like a boy so much and he's not reciprocating, that you do things to make him get closer, like wrestling, hitting, etc. But I told her she was smart, beautiful, and as a female deserved to be loved, adored, treated gently and taken care of. That there will be many males come into her life, but she has to choose the best one, and it can be hard. That the best male isn't one who would ever lay a hand on a woman. I told her to seek out women who had something she admired, and watch and learn from them. Look for married couples or people in positive, loving relationships and watch how they interact, how they care and love one another and learn. I told her it was easy to find and get used to a rough life, one where you're struggling and not happy. I strongly recommended her finding strong, positive females to look up to. She told me she had just joined and was paired with a Big Sister, I told her that was a very mature choice of her and I was proud of her for also making the choice to apologize and try to learn from her mistake. She told me she was glad she came and talked to me, that she'd never talked to an adult before about these things and realized I was right. I just told her she had a great future ahead of her and she has to love herself and know her worth.
I think of these times, when they so badly need a mom. When they need a hug, and they're without a mother to be there, and it breaks my heart I can't have my own and can't give them the love and hugs they need. I wish more that parents and guardians would do the right thing by their children.
The normal, things are fine. I had a friend over yesterday so that was enough motivation to clean the house top to bottom. Now Im happy I don't have to do it this weekend. It's a 5 day weekend for me actually because of the surgery. I've shoved the surgery to the back part of my mind. All has been fine though today I had a moment going through the Aflac cancer policy I have. Just a bit overwhelming. Im trying not to put the cart before the horse for sure, but I've never had a growth like this. I feel blindsided in a way. More, I feel betrayed by my body. Like I should have felt it, could feel the growth developing or invading.
Anyway, Tuesday it's all out and then I await the results.
Waiting...and waiting.
I'm waiting to hear back about a few jobs I've applied to, I'm waiting to hear back if I was chosen for an International Master Artist/Teacher Conference in Norway, I'm waiting to hear back for these few things which add up to seem like a million.
In the meantime I am blessed that my students are amazingly kind and loving to me. It does make me feel loved when the roughest, toughest, biggest kid in the bunch came in the class today, came to me where I was sitting down at my desk and laid her head on my shoulder telling me she didn't feel well, could she just come sit by me today. Of course I have to gently tell her she can't hug on me as it's not appropriate, but sometimes these kids need a caring person, and sometimes Im that person. And that is nice in these times. I had a long discussion over this week with another young lady who called to me in the hallway, double over in pain. The end story was she was trying to get a boys attention and get him to touch her, she could only figure by telling him to punch her. When he did, it really hurt her physically. I spoke with him, but I had a longer conversation with her. After admonishing her and telling her how I was disappointed that she lied and worried that she protected someone who'd hurt her, I talked to her about the importance of safety and honesty. She came to me the next morning and gave me a heartfelt apology for lying and the entire situation. She's a great kid so I sat down and just chatted with her. Turns out she lives at home with an ex step dad, no bio parents in the picture and no female role models. I talked to her about honesty and character and about how I can understand that when you like a boy so much and he's not reciprocating, that you do things to make him get closer, like wrestling, hitting, etc. But I told her she was smart, beautiful, and as a female deserved to be loved, adored, treated gently and taken care of. That there will be many males come into her life, but she has to choose the best one, and it can be hard. That the best male isn't one who would ever lay a hand on a woman. I told her to seek out women who had something she admired, and watch and learn from them. Look for married couples or people in positive, loving relationships and watch how they interact, how they care and love one another and learn. I told her it was easy to find and get used to a rough life, one where you're struggling and not happy. I strongly recommended her finding strong, positive females to look up to. She told me she had just joined and was paired with a Big Sister, I told her that was a very mature choice of her and I was proud of her for also making the choice to apologize and try to learn from her mistake. She told me she was glad she came and talked to me, that she'd never talked to an adult before about these things and realized I was right. I just told her she had a great future ahead of her and she has to love herself and know her worth.
I think of these times, when they so badly need a mom. When they need a hug, and they're without a mother to be there, and it breaks my heart I can't have my own and can't give them the love and hugs they need. I wish more that parents and guardians would do the right thing by their children.