Part Seventy-Four: "Luke does not need to be fixed."
Jack thinks that Damian's cray cray and you know what, Jack? You're right! He's blaming Holden for falling down on the job. You know, that part where fathers are supposed to teach their sons to be straight... or something. Oh, Holden. You're the father of the year. He says that hearing words that he was thinking coming out of Lily's mouth, that he needed to be there for Luke. Pat on the back!
Meanwhile, Lily's convincing Damian that Luke does not need to be fixed. Well, yeah. We've established that Damian's on Team Nutsy Cuckoo. Lily has seen the error of her ways(ish) but Damian's suggestion is enough to push her to the side of right so that she can help Luke.
Someone's convincing Luke that Turn Off the Gay Camp is just like every other camp! You go horseback riding, you go swimming... you just gotta do it and turn into a heterosexual. Like those Mormons from Book of Mormon say, turn off those gay feelings, Luke!
... Luke immediately calls Good Dad to come rescue him.
Instead, it's Lily to the rescue! She shoves the counselor out the door. Lily's convincing Luke to COME DOWN THE STAIRS and I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. There's just a lot of emphasis on COMING DOWN THE STAIRS.
Oh, and there goes Lily up the stairs... and right back down again. Tumbling down. Damian rushes to her side because he saw the whole thing. Sigh, of course he did.
Click to viewhttp://youtu.be/qczvD4bgWns
We recap slow motion and traumatic fall from stairs...
"Oh my god, is she dead? IS SHE DEAD?" Luke. Calm the fuck down. Thanks, Damian for your wisdom. She just tumbled slowly to the ground. She has not perished but Luke was still stuck in his Straight/Gay counselor misery so he's all discombobulated.
Holden thinks that Damian did it. Luke said that it was his fault.
"What were you fighting about?" HOLDEN. NOW IS NOT THE TIME. GET THAT WOMAN TO A HOSPITAL.
"Is the baby okay?" HOLDEN. THE AMBULANCE JUST GOT THERE, OKAY?
Lord. These Snyder men.
Holden needs the complete play-by-play of this argument because they won't let him in the room to be with Lily. He still isn't convinced that Damian wasn't responsible for this and blames him completely. ... because, it is Damian's fault. He and camp counselor guy have a little heart-to-heart talk about how his evil scheme didn't work as well as he wanted it to. Surprise, surprise.
And now Holden's pissed at Luke for... some reason. He believes Lily can do no wrong and why Luke would shove someone down the stairs. HE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE, HOLDEN. AND HE DIDN'T REALLY SHOVE, OKAY? SHE STUMBLED. WAY TO BLAME, LUKE, THE GUY WHO BLAMES HIMSELF FOR EVERYTHING IN HIS LIFE, EVER. Sigh. I take back your Father of the Year Award.
Holden blames Luke. Damian doesn't. Poor, poor confused Luke.
http://youtu.be/kVD0MdEMnZU
Luke blames himself. Anyone surprised? No? Okay.
Damian's trying to calm him down and convince him that this wasn't his fault. Hey, Damian's hitting on Lucy. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT. Damian's certainly being kinder to Luke now that mommy has fallen down the stairs. We're putting the gay on the backburner for the moment.
Holden speaks to unconscious Lily and there's more of Damian hitting on Lucy.
Luke listens in on Holden's talk but he's still looking as guilty as ever.
Ugh, I have such a love/hate thing with Damian. Luke hugs him and holds on for dear life and it's just about the cutest thing. Then you remember he wants his son to turn straight. But, Damian loves Luke in his crazy, crazy way.
http://youtu.be/vOtxAeyLCpA