STATE OF THE UNION DRINKING GAME #sotu
Oh yes, it's GO time! The POTUS gives his state of the union tonight. This should be especially fun because it's an election year. Print this out and keep it handy next to the liquor cabinet as you watch:
General Blather
"The state of our union is strong" (or some version of this)-----1
hope-----1 wishful shot
change-----1
"hopeful audacity of yes we can change"-----sip of unicorn wine
progress-----1
"let me be clear"-----1
"make no mistake"-----1
rhetoric or civility-----smile falsely while taking a shot
Foreign Policy
Iraq-----swig one last shot for the road
Afghanistan-----1
Iran----- 1
China or North Korea or Cuba-----shot of something red
Syria-----1 repressive shot
Osama bin Laden-----fist pump, then 1
Arab Spring-----1 of arak
Greece-----ouzo
Europe-----1
Euro-----2
Eurozone-----3
Eurotrash-----4 (+1 if you self-identify)
Domestic Policy
debt-----borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time
deficit-----finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too
investment (in reference to government spending)-----1
investment (in reference to individual discretionary financial decisions)-----hide your shot under your bed; drink it the next time the Dow drops 100 points
unemployment-----1
jobs-----1
-----+1 if you've been unemployed in the last year
-----+2 if you're unemployed today (we've been there)
Wall Street-----1 hoity toity shot
Main Street-----PBR gulp
Keystone Pipeline-----1 Keystone
Shared sacrifice-----1
recovery----- small 1
health care-----1 medicinal shot
"Race to the Top"-----1, but you'll be tested on it later
Occupy Wall Street-----1 of something cheap, but then get up and move to a different seat
The One Percent-----1 haughty shot of something expensive (if you can't afford something expensive, see "Occupy Wall Street")
"country ahead of party"-----2
Steve Jobs-----iShot
Warren Buffett-----filthy rich shot
"Don't mess with Texas!" (Sure it's a non-sequitur, but why break tradition?)-----Exchange confused glances, drink freely
Every time he....
refers to a tax increase as "asking" some to pay more-----2
talks about American "competitiveness" in reference to jobs-----1
adds a color qualifier to jobs (e.g., green jobs or blue collar jobs)-----1 drink of the same color
praises recent economic figures but announces that he is not "satisfied"-----1
references streamlining or reducing unnecessary regulation-----streamline the contents of your glass into your mouth
uses an anecdote to defend a policy-----1 for health care reform
-----2 for anything else
sets a long-term objective or vision to be met after his current term is up-----shot of what you'd like to be drinking in 2022 and beyond
Every time the camera shows....
the First Lady -----1
the First Lady's arms -----1, delivered by bicep curl
Joe Biden, and he looks like he wants to interrupt the speech-----1
your congressional representative-----1
-----and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your representative
a close-up on Speaker John Boehner-----1
-----+1 if he's crying
-----best if drinking the most bronzed or orange beverage available
a "special guest" who is introduced by the President-----1
a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces-----1
a standing ovation from HALF of Congress-----1
Other
if the speech is under an hour-----Finish your drink and have another beer
REPUBLICAN RESPONSE BONUS GAME
socialism/ist; communism/ist -----1 shot of something red, drunk with your left hand
wasteful spending-----1
There you go, hope you make it to the end before passing out!
General Blather
"The state of our union is strong" (or some version of this)-----1
hope-----1 wishful shot
change-----1
"hopeful audacity of yes we can change"-----sip of unicorn wine
progress-----1
"let me be clear"-----1
"make no mistake"-----1
rhetoric or civility-----smile falsely while taking a shot
Foreign Policy
Iraq-----swig one last shot for the road
Afghanistan-----1
Iran----- 1
China or North Korea or Cuba-----shot of something red
Syria-----1 repressive shot
Osama bin Laden-----fist pump, then 1
Arab Spring-----1 of arak
Greece-----ouzo
Europe-----1
Euro-----2
Eurozone-----3
Eurotrash-----4 (+1 if you self-identify)
Domestic Policy
debt-----borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time
deficit-----finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too
investment (in reference to government spending)-----1
investment (in reference to individual discretionary financial decisions)-----hide your shot under your bed; drink it the next time the Dow drops 100 points
unemployment-----1
jobs-----1
-----+1 if you've been unemployed in the last year
-----+2 if you're unemployed today (we've been there)
Wall Street-----1 hoity toity shot
Main Street-----PBR gulp
Keystone Pipeline-----1 Keystone
Shared sacrifice-----1
recovery----- small 1
health care-----1 medicinal shot
"Race to the Top"-----1, but you'll be tested on it later
Occupy Wall Street-----1 of something cheap, but then get up and move to a different seat
The One Percent-----1 haughty shot of something expensive (if you can't afford something expensive, see "Occupy Wall Street")
"country ahead of party"-----2
Steve Jobs-----iShot
Warren Buffett-----filthy rich shot
"Don't mess with Texas!" (Sure it's a non-sequitur, but why break tradition?)-----Exchange confused glances, drink freely
Every time he....
refers to a tax increase as "asking" some to pay more-----2
talks about American "competitiveness" in reference to jobs-----1
adds a color qualifier to jobs (e.g., green jobs or blue collar jobs)-----1 drink of the same color
praises recent economic figures but announces that he is not "satisfied"-----1
references streamlining or reducing unnecessary regulation-----streamline the contents of your glass into your mouth
uses an anecdote to defend a policy-----1 for health care reform
-----2 for anything else
sets a long-term objective or vision to be met after his current term is up-----shot of what you'd like to be drinking in 2022 and beyond
Every time the camera shows....
the First Lady -----1
the First Lady's arms -----1, delivered by bicep curl
Joe Biden, and he looks like he wants to interrupt the speech-----1
your congressional representative-----1
-----and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your representative
a close-up on Speaker John Boehner-----1
-----+1 if he's crying
-----best if drinking the most bronzed or orange beverage available
a "special guest" who is introduced by the President-----1
a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces-----1
a standing ovation from HALF of Congress-----1
Other
if the speech is under an hour-----Finish your drink and have another beer
REPUBLICAN RESPONSE BONUS GAME
socialism/ist; communism/ist -----1 shot of something red, drunk with your left hand
wasteful spending-----1
There you go, hope you make it to the end before passing out!