Livejournal Poetry is My Subject, Yes.
At this risk of becoming that guy, I wanted to put up a poem I wrote during Church. Some people get their best thinking done in the bathroom, for me it's definitely Church. Church is my bathroom... you can quote me on that. Anyway, it's one thing to read a poem outloud, a fear I've recently gotten over, it's another to put it out there in all its nudity to be dissected. Watch me grow as a person using the power of the internet!
She's lying next to you
When she says,
"I feel like
A melted M&M."
And you think,
There's a right
And wrong way,
There's a too-fast
And just-right way.
And you think,
She'd be the one
Who used a microwave,
Who set the timer
And walked away.
You'd still be standing there,
Fist clenched
Full of candy
Waiting
While the colors
Mixed in the pallette of your palm.
So you ask, "What?! What does the even mean?
'I'm a melted M&N?'"
She says, "Don't ruin this."
You say, "I get it, I have to break through
Your candy shell."
She says nothing.
You hold her close and say,
"I'll get through that shell,"
Totally missing the point.
So that kind of started out as a poem and turned to a conversation at the end, which is what I intended. I think it would have a different effect read aloud at that point, but I'm interested to know how it comes across typed out. I can't look at the pacing from a fresh perspective.
She's lying next to you
When she says,
"I feel like
A melted M&M."
And you think,
There's a right
And wrong way,
There's a too-fast
And just-right way.
And you think,
She'd be the one
Who used a microwave,
Who set the timer
And walked away.
You'd still be standing there,
Fist clenched
Full of candy
Waiting
While the colors
Mixed in the pallette of your palm.
So you ask, "What?! What does the even mean?
'I'm a melted M&N?'"
She says, "Don't ruin this."
You say, "I get it, I have to break through
Your candy shell."
She says nothing.
You hold her close and say,
"I'll get through that shell,"
Totally missing the point.
So that kind of started out as a poem and turned to a conversation at the end, which is what I intended. I think it would have a different effect read aloud at that point, but I'm interested to know how it comes across typed out. I can't look at the pacing from a fresh perspective.