"I've been alone too long and now I need to be loved too much." -Loved Too Much---Ty Herndon
Mmm. Tuesday...I don't want to go to Alexandria for a few reasons #1 I'm going to miss all my friends here. #2 I don't want to see Grandmother. #3 I need to clear my head, but I feel like I need to do it here. I think I need to learn to live with it here because I'm eventually going to come back. And I think I need to start hanging with some of my more...less wild friends. And thats where I hit a road block...I don't have any less wild friends. Sigh. I guess I won't go to Alexandria until the end of the summer like I did last year...-Shrugs- Trey will get pissed but ya know what? I don't care. It's time I do things on my own from now on. I keep letting myself hope that I'll find love and that I won't have to live my life alone. Big mistake on my part but I just can't seem to help myself. It's my weakness. I never had love when I was younger. I had my mom, yes. But her's was that paranoid "You can't take her away from me" kinda love. She kept having so many people want to take custody of me so I can't really blame her. But still...I didn't have the security I needed when I was younger so I was forced to depend on myself, so I grew to like being alone so I could do the things I wanted to. And now that I'm older....I'm no longer forced to depend on myself...I actually like depending on myself...but I don't like being alone anymore.
I've grown older and my childhood fantasies of Princes and sugar coated dreams have turned into a longing that only true love can fulfill. "I've been alone too long and now I need to be loved too much."-Loved Too Much---Ty Herndon
Mmm. But anyways. I'm getting into this Yoga and Meditation stuff...it's really interesting. I haven't tried any of it yet...kinda want to do a bit more research on it...but I'm pretty sure I will try it. It might help with all this stress I've had lately.
I'm trying to center myself so I can decide what I want to do with my life...see I know I have to get away...but I have no idea where. I can go ANYWHERE in the world...but I can't seem to make up my mind. I've narrowed it down to Cajun Country (Deep south LA), Texas, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, or Wyoming...or Oregan. -Shrugs- Any hints anyone? And does anyone want to come with me? -Grin- It's always fun with a perfect semi-stranger to come along.
In my mind...thats the ultimate way for someone to get to know someone else. Take someone that you know through a friend but have never really talked to on a one-to-one basis...and just go on a HUGE road trip. I can promise you...when ya'll get back home or find a town for both of ya'll to settle your seperate lives in...ya'll know more about each other than anyone else. And it's even better if it's just two people of the opposite sex, because thats how life time friendships form. It's what I want to do one day. Hmm...maybe I will. I'll pull out a map and throw a dart on it and grab a semi-friend and go.
-Shrugs- I guess I'm just a sporatic person.