So let's complain?
Today was interesting..I got up thinking that my whole day was going to be one big rush and it wasn't.. And for some reason I just got really angry at myself, and had a lot of self confliction for some reason. It made me feel as if I was insane or had some mental disorder, because of the things that I do to myself when I get angry.
I finally got to do the giraffe shoot today for my AP art concentration which was pleasing to know it was finally moving. I just want to re-shoot now with the digital images because I only found one that could even come close to qualifying. It just didn't have enough composition to it and I just over all didn't like it which made me kinda bummed as well..
It rained all day and I liked that. I was a little irritated when I was going out though because my camera was exposed to the elements and not ones of choice.
Tonight was my last night to study before I go into school tomorrow to take my placement testing for artithmetic and english placement, so of course I'm totally jazzed about the arithmetic...ugh. I have cliff notes for the algebra, trig, and calc so I could have some hindsight and CHANCE of getting into a high level instead of basic or geometry. I just don't think I can do it, but none the less I'm going to try and get into the highest level possible..I just have this test anxiety where I get all choked when I see the word test, or hear the instructor talking about test taking. It just makes me so nervous and no matter how much I try and study I'm always worrying about something else, whether it asking myself if I'm going to be able to pay my phone bill or am I going to have enough money before, during, or after I graduate from HCC for all my camera/computer equipment. Not to mention the down payment on my car which I have no choice but to get in August. I'm not unstable financially right now, but I just freak out at the thought of 2 years from now. So much is going to change between now and then I just need to take my mind off of it by not thinking about it, having fun and just doing the best of my ability on everything I possibly can and have to do.
It just gets me so ...excited? I don't know what the word is, but my stomach gets all turned and I get all crazed over what's going on.
I just wish that first of all, I had a job. It seems like ever since I quit working at Beverly's things have been going down hill ever since. I have no money to spend. It's like I'm underage for a job but too old for my age and spending level. It's not working out.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I know I'm going to have a job around Easter, and until about Mothers day. but then I can only hope around July I'll be going back and working full time until the school year starts, and then I can work evenings or weekends, or both. This summer is going to be a money making summer and I need to get it moving fast. I already have a job offer standing in Olney at another Hallmark, but I don't have a car or a PDL so I can't drive that without having to ask for rides almost every day of the summer/week/end.
Hugeeee dilemas....]
everywhere..