Dick Winters and his evil 30's era twin (2/2)
Okay, possibly I overreached when I described her as a fangirl. She's actually a somewhat cringe-worthy Greek landlady who's involved in a smuggling ring.
But Damian is so amusingly long-suffering about it.
Except for the whole opening his mouth thing.
The Greek landlady one-ups him.
"Aha," says Damian. "Are you perhaps Eion Bailey in horrible drag?"
He is then chastised for making a terrible, feeble joke.
"I hate it when people don't take me seriously," he says.
"God," says Colin Firth's little brother, "I know what you mean."
"You know, maybe if we got better hairstylists..."
But they soon determined that really it was just Spare Firth who needs help in that department.
So Damian decides to hang around for a while and try to show him the ropes.
"Look, just do as I do, all right? Everything I do is cool. Trust me."
"Amirite? Yeah? Yeah?"
Hercule Poirot, he is not so easily impressed.
"Well, okay, fair point," says Damian. Spare Firth, meanwhile, quietly panics.
At which point Damian gives up trying to do the work of two people's awesome and just makes silly faces.
It's okay, though, 'cause then WHOOSH! He gets his ankle-length lab coat, baby!
And a groupie.
Who really seems to bring out his inner glow.
Look at him being all authoritative and sweeping.
...and then abruptly degenerating into monkey faces.
Oh, but he is really pretty. Look at that.
Poirot and Chief Inspector Japp certainly are.
No, really. DAMIAN LEWIS AND HIS FAMOUS RED HAIR, up close and personal!
"I feel oddly violated now."
"You only love me for my complexion."
At which point he reverts back into monkey mode for a moment.
Must. Not. See. Victory rolls.
Good thing Poirot and Japp are made of stronger stuff than me.
"All right," says Damian. "I'll just take a moment to be stunningly beautiful here."
"All right, I'm done now. Go on, as you were."
"He really is very handsome," Poirot says.
"Yeah, but I like that guy from Friends better," says Japp.
"Captain Ross? Are you fucking kidding me?"
*CLEARLY THE PRETTIEST*
So Damian gathers all his friends together in a room to have a contest. A moment of truth, as it were.
"Come on. Check out this total package."
"Yeah, I know, right?"
The rest of the posse is not so certain.
"...Guys?"
Hercule Poirot merely bides his time.
"--my goodness, look at my career! BRB, gotta go be a paratrooper!" *scats*
