sorry it took me so long
Title: Sensitivity
Rating: Not really sure. Some nudity. Bit of torture. So NC-17 to be safe I guess.
Summary: Inspired by yoshiyuki_est’s fan art in the same name. Loved it so had to write a companion piece for it.
After rescuing the Doctor from trouble, Jack offered comfort to him. He had to be the brave and noble hero even as his body betrayed him.
No spoilers for COE because I don’t like the ending for it. Therefore I reject it utterly. Sorry it’s taken me so long to do this. I’ve been on holiday, and didn’t take my laptop or my notebook. Which was a little useless of me I know. But here you go.
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Jack looked up from the paperwork in front of him as Ianto knocked softly on the door of his office. He motioned the Welsh Godsend in. He brought coffee, biscuits and a gorgeous smile. Winning combination as far as Jack was concerned.
“Any change?” Ianto’s voice was soft, his gentle Welsh lilt offering a soothing sound in the harsh silence permeated only by the uneven breathing of the Time Lord lying curled up underneath a soft blanket on Jack’s sofa.
“None. Still fretful. He can’t rest, but he won’t wake up either,” Jack replied, accepting the coffee gratefully. “Wish I knew how I could help him.”
“I’m sure just you being here is helpful,” Ianto offered.
“I’m not so sure. He doesn’t react too well to my not being able to die. I’m, as he put it, an impossible thing. A fixed point in Time that shouldn’t exist. His biology screams “Run!” every time he comes near me. So, for all I know, I’m making it worse.” Jack’s shoulders slumped as he looked at the clearly distressed Time Lord, wondering if it really was him making him so uneasy.
Ianto smiled sympathetically. “Surely he knows you would never hurt him though?”
“Well, yeah. But he’s not conscious is he. His subconscious shouts “he’s wrong. He’s wrong. He’s wrong.” All the time. Over and over again,” Jack replied miserably.
Ianto sighed gently. “Do you want anything else?”
“Some company?” Jack’s voice hovered on begging, his eyes sending out a plea.
At that moment a sharp gasp made the pair jump. The Doctor was sat bolt upright, his brown eyes flicking madly over his surroundings in a flurry of sheer panic and fear. Jack stood slowly, not wanting to startle the frightened Time Lord, but it didn’t work. Wide eyes fixed on him as the Doctor propelled himself up and back against the wall. Jack stopped, backing away again, raising his hands to show the Doctor he meant no harm
“It’s ok Doctor,” he said softly, “it’s me. It’s Jack. I’m not going to hurt you.” He watched as the Doctor’s breathing hitched. The fear was holding his delirium in place. That or the horrific things that had been done to him at the hands of the bastards the Torchwood team had rescued him and the Tardis from.
An image flashed before Jack’s eyes. The Doctor, bound and beaten, chained to the wall, a metal collar holding him in place. Deep scratches where the Doctor had obviously tried to claw the metal ring from his throat, blood dried in small rivers down his pale chest and beneath his finger nails, how if anyone tried to force the lock on his cell, or on the collar, the Doctor got zapped.
Jack tried to blink away the horrible image. It had been his fault that the Doctor had been zapped to the point that he passed out. He hadn’t seen the link between the lock and the volts of electricity until he’d gotten inside. He’d forced the lock to try and get the collar off faster, only to realise he had made it so much worse. Given what else the senseless wankers had done to him, this seemed beyond the limits of reason.
Jack forced himself back to the present, where Ianto was trying to calm the skittish Time Lord. “It’s alright Doctor. I’m Ianto. You’ve seen me before. I’m a friend of Jack’s. We aren’t going to hurt you. We got you out. It’s over now.”
“No. I’m hallucinating. You’ve tricked me like this already. I let you in. I let you in. Please let me go. Leave me alone.” The Time Lord whimpered. He was terrified, rambling. Broken. They’d accessed his mind like this before. Made him think he was safe. That it was all over. But it hadn’t been.
Jack ran his fingers through his hair distractedly. The Doctor’s perceptions of reality and false images were scattered after his captors had ransacked his mind, leaving it fragile. His mind was reluctant to be tricked twice, preferring the idea that he needed to be wary of further trickery because he wasn’t safe to believing that Jack and Ianto were real and that he could let his guard down.
Ianto threw jack a concerned look. They needed to snap him out of it. But how?
Jack tried a new tactic. “Doc. You’re in the Hub. You’ve never been here before. How would your captors know how to make it look?”
“How would I know that this is the Hub?” the Doctor countered, his muscles still taunt and his eyes still flickering, trying to ascertain how best to get away.
“There’s no collar round your neck!” Jack tried, floundering for ideas. “That was still there before.” He wasn’t expecting it to work. He was grasping at straws.
The Doctor’s hands flew to his throat, finding nothing but the soft gauze Jack had taped over a particularly deep scratch. He seemed to relax a little. Jack smiled gently, pleased to have made some headway. “You trust me now?” The Doctor looked at him. Jack held his breath. The Doctor sniffed. Seemed satisfied that his sense of smell wasn’t impaired and that pheromones were exactly what he could smell, and nodded. “Good. Ianto, can you fetch some tea please, and some clothes for the Doctor?” Ianto nodded and left the room slowly and quietly.
The Doctor frowned and looked down, realising he was stood on Jack’s sofa, wearing nothing but the dressing covering the cut on his neck. He crouched down, picking up the blanket and pulling it round himself like a shield.
Jack leaned against his desk, keeping his hands where the Doctor could see them. He watched as the shock started to wear off as the Doctor calmed down, and tears coursed down the stricken Time Lord’s face as he remembered the painful memories that had been dragged, raw and ragged, to the surface of his mind. He wasn’t expecting the armful of sobbing alien, but he allowed the Doctor to cry softly into his shoulder, holding the Time Lord gently against his chest, rubbing soothing circles on his lower back.
He couldn’t help noticing how soft the Doctor’s skin was under his hands, or how the muscles on that deceptively wiry frame moved as he sobbed. He couldn’t help wishing the Doctor was stood naked in his arms under different circumstances. Unbidden thoughts rose to his mind as the Doctor shifted slightly, bringing his hips into line with Jack’s. Jack shifted sideways, bringing the Doctor into his side rather than his front. Ever playing the noble hero, eh Jack a voice in his head sneered even as your own body betrays your real thoughts. He ignored it, praying the Doctor wouldn’t notice.
He was not so lucky. The Doctor’s head rose from his shoulder, confusion evident in his expression. He’d felt the move, for all Jack’s attempts at subtlety. Jack smiled softly, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears coursing down his face. The Doctor gave him a look that said he wasn’t going to get away with not answering the unanswered question.
Jack looked apologetic. “Didn’t think you needed to add that to your list of problems.” The Doctor didn’t get it. “Don’t be naïve.” The Doctor remained blank.
Jack was saved from answering by the reappearance of Ianto, who bought tea, some chocolate digestives he must have had squirreled away somewhere, and some clothes Jack recognised as his own.
“Sorry about the fit. It’s all we’ve got. The Tardis wouldn’t even let Jack in. So your wardrobe is off limits until you convince her otherwise,” Ianto said, handing the small pile to the Doctor, followed by a handkerchief which the Doctor used to wipe his face and blow his nose. He didn’t give it back, choosing to hold on to it so he could wash it first. Ianto smiled, placing the tea and biscuits on Jack’s desk before leaving the room.
The Doctor stepped away from Jack a little and started to dress. He was quiet. Which worried Jack a bit. The Doctor talked constantly. He was one of those people you could almost bet your life would talk through sex. A lot. Stop thinking about it. Right now. More important things to think about. He was only ever quiet when he was brooding. Not a good sign. And he was shaking. His was fumbling with the buttons on the shirt Ianto had given him. Jack stepped forward, taking over. The Doctor, instead of brushing him off and stubbornly doing it himself like he would normally, let his hands fall to his sides, passively allowing Jack to dress him. More bad news.
After he’d finished helping the Doctor dress (and wishing he’d been helping him undress instead) the Doctor moved closer again, wanting the warm safety of Jack’s embrace. Jack obliged, holding the Time Lord close. The Doctor wasn’t crying again, but he was still acting in a way that concerned Jack a lot. This wasn’t the man he knew. He was clinging to his shirt, curling himself into Jack’s body.
Jack winced as the Doctor’s body pressed against his erection. I can’t move again. He noticed the first time. He’ll notice this time. He willed his brain out of the gutter. With little success. If anything it got worse. The Doctor seemed, even in his emotionally distressed state, to notice Jack’s discomfort. He looked up. “What is it?” His voice was soft. Too soft.
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“No Jack. What is it?” The Doctor’s voice was a little more insistent. A little firmer.
Jack winced again as the Doctor shifted in his embrace. The Doctor’s expression changed quickly as he shot back, feeling the hard flesh for the first time. His eyes flicked between Jack’s face and his tented trousers.
“Sorry,” Jack said again, encouraging the Doctor to move back to his side. The Doctor looked at him. Jack turned toward the Time Lord, who was looking at him with an undeterminable expression. “What is it?”
The Doctor didn’t reply. He bit his bottom lip, as though in nervous contemplation, his eyes locked on Jack’s.
Jack was about to ask again, but the Doctor stopped him, slipping his fingers into Jack’s hair and pulling him into a deep, awkward kiss. Jack froze in shock. Ok. Wasn’t expecting that. He relaxed into the kiss, gently moving the Doctor’s head to make it a little less messy. He revelled in the feeling of the Doctor’s cool lips felt against his own.
When they broke apart, the Doctor smiled. “If I’d known kissing you would make me feel that good, I’d have done it a while ago.”
Jack flashed him his trademark Harkness Charm. “That was just the kiss. Imagine the buzz you’d get from the rest.”
The Doctor winced. Jack wanted to kick himself. “Sorry. Bad choice of words.” Buzz. Could you have picked a worse one? Don’t answer that. How can you be so stupid? The little voice in his head chided him.
The Doctor rested his head on Jack’s shoulder. “It’s ok.” He ran his fingers through the soft hair on the back of Jack’s neck, realising suddenly that something had changed. Jack wasn’t wrong. He could still feel him there, but it was more like a gentle hum, rather than the horrible grating from before. He smiled, looking up. “You feel different.” He kissed Jack again.
“What do you mean?”
The Doctor kissed him again, and brushed his fingers across Jack’s temples, letting him feel what he was feeling.
“Oh. Good different then.” Jack said, smiling.
At that moment an alarm sounded in the Hub. The Doctor peered out of the window of Jack’s office. Ianto was tapping away at a computer, apparently frustrated that even though he was paying attention to it, the alarm wouldn’t stop.
The Doctor grinned. “Trouble?”
Jack smiled. This was more like it. “Probably.”
The Doctor kissed him again, his eyes dancing. “Come on then.”
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Points to whoever spots the cannon quote first!!
yoshiyuki_est’s fan art in the same name. Loved it so had to write a companion piece for it.