[FIC] Our different pasts, Our intertwined present Chap 36
Rating: NC-16 (vulgar language)
Genre: Drama
Pairing: Yoosu
Story: Park Yoochun has a dark past he stashed away. Kim Junsu has a painful love he wants to forget. They hate each other's guts when they first meet yet Fate has it that they stay in each other's present. But what holds for their future?
Disclaimers: I don't own the characters.
Warning: Vulgar language
Author's notes: Ha... this is probably my fastest update in a long while.... and the fastest I ever took to write a chapter I think... Thanks for your lovely comments! Here's the next chapter! Just one more Epilogue and this fic will come to an end. Thanks for your support! ^_^
[chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3+4] [chapter 5] [chapter 6] [chapter 7+8] [chapter 9] [chapter 10] [chapter 11] [chapter 12] [chapter 13] [chapter 14] [chapter 15] [chapter 16+17] [chapter 18] [chapter 19] [chapter 20] [chapter 21] [chapter 22] [chapter 23] [chapter 24] [chapter 25] [chapter 26] [chapter 27] [chapter 28] [chapter 29] [chapter 30] [chapter 31] [chapter 32] [chapter 33] [chapter 34] [chapter 35]
Chapter 36
The loud bang was still ringing in Junsu’s ears. He was getting a headache from the ringing. It took him a few seconds to register some loud shouting and sounds of things being turned over.
“JUNSU, RUN!”
Junsu’s eyes snapped open at that voice.
Yoochun’s voice.
Junsu’s sight was blurred from shutting his eyes too tightly but he could make out the outline of two figures struggling with one another.
“Yoochun!”
Junsu could not help but shout out. Yoochun came. Yoochun showed up. Junsu hadn’t the slightest idea what that meant, but he knew he felt happy. Despite the situation he was in, Junsu found himself relieved and happy at the fact that Yoochun appeared. Or maybe he was just glad to see the other man again.
Yoochun arrived just in time to push Kang-In away, causing his shot to miss Junsu. The push caused Kang-In to drop his weapon and Yoochun took the chance to attack and to hold the other man down.
“Run, you idiot! Get out of - Argh!”
Kang-In overpowered Yoochun’s hold on him and threw a punch into the taller man’s face. Yoochun fell over from the impact and it was Kang-In’s turn to tower over him, still throwing punches in his face.
Junsu finally found the feeling in his body as he quickly stood up and hopped over to where the other two men were. He then threw his body weight on Kang-In to push him away from Yoochun.
Kang-In let out a shout as the air was knocked out of him from the sudden weight. Junsu landed hardly on the ground together with Kang-In while Yoochun was still recovering from the punches threw into his face.
“Bad move, Kim Junsu!”
Kang-In cursed as he got up and made his way over to where Junsu was lying on the ground. With all his limbs tied up, Junsu could barely sit up before he felt Kang-In’s hands on his collar, pulling him to his feet.
“Let’s end this NOW!”
Kang-In shouted as he encircled his hands around Junsu’s neck and started strangling him like a mad man.
“JUNSU! NO!”
Yoochun’s cry echoed through the warehouse as he grabbed the nearest thing he got his hands on and made for Kang-In.
“Argh!”
Yoochun shouted as he swung the wooden plank at Kang-In. He continued to ram the plank into the other’s face until he let go of Junsu. The tied up man collapsed and was having a coughing fit from the momentary air cut-off. Yoochun continued to attack the bigger man with the plank until Kang-In fell and was rolling on the ground.
Seeing that Kang-In was making no move to get up, Yoochun wasted no time and quickly ran back to where Junsu was.
“Junsu! You alright?”
He asked as he quickly undid the ropes on Junsu’s limbs. Junsu still felt weak from the strangling and could not answer Yoochun’s question.
“Quick, get up! Let’s get out of here!”
“Be… behind!”
BANG!
“Argh!”
“YOOCHUN!”
Junsu shouted out loud as he watched Yoochun collapse to the ground. Blood was starting to ooze from the wound on his leg.
In a distance, Kim Kang-In was laughing shamelessly with the revolver in his hand. He got up unsteadily, with blood flowing down the sides of his head from the wounds inflicted by Yoochun earlier and inched his way slowly towards the two men with the weapon pointed at them.
Yoochun tried in vain to stand as Junsu was trying to pull him up.
“Run, Junsu. Go now!”
“No… I cannot leave you… I can’t…”
“Hahaha! You’re not so cocky now, are you Park Yoochun!”
BANG!
“NO! STOP!”
Junsu shouted as Kang-In fired another shot and hit Yoochun’s shoulder.
“FUCK YOU, KIM KANG-IN!”
Yoochun shouted as he bit his lower lip to endure the seething pain that was spreading through his leg and shoulder. He knew they had to do something before Kim Kang-In killed them both.
“Hyung… STOP please! Stop shooting!”
Junsu pleaded as he moved to shield Yoochun from any more shots.
“I told you, Junsu… I will torture your lover in front of you before I KILL you before his eyes!”
“You sick bastard! Go fuck yourself!”
Yoochun snapped stubbornly as he tried to move Junsu away from shielding him. He could feel his heart beating wildly against his chest. He had to do something. He had to do something quick.
Kang-In continued to laugh menacingly as he inched nearer and nearer to the pair on the ground, Yoochun’s blood already staining the floor around them.
“Junsu, make a run for it. Don’t plead with him… just go!”
Yoochun said desperately, but Junsu refused to budge.
“Hear the lovebirds go! You have no idea how much the two of you disgust me!”
Kang-In finally reached the pair on the ground as he lowered the gun to Junsu’s head.
Junsu stared back stubbornly as he felt the cold metal against his forehead. His heart was pounding wildly too.
Yoochun’s eyes widened as he started to breathe heavily.
“You will go first, Kim Junsu, then Park Yoochun will join you shortly after. Give me a day and you will see your parents and your half brothers in hell with you!”
Junsu just continued to stare hard at Kim Kang-In even though his eyes were brimming with tears from the thought that his family would not be spared.
“NO! NO! STOP!”
Yoochun yelled as he struggled to stand up but his legs just kept giving way. At that moment, his hands felt something behind him.
“Park Yoochun… before you die… let me just tell you that… your old man is dead… I killed him… the day he supposedly went missing…”
“Wha…”
Yoochun could not utter the word as tears began to cloud his vision.
“Yes… I did it… he forced me to… when he told me to get you back to run the organization… even when I was standing right in front of him… even though I worked my ass off for him… he still wanted a useless bum like you to run the organization… everything I did was for NOTHING!”
Tears were starting to flow down Yoochun’s cheeks. His father wanted him back. His father did care about him. But he was not there for his old man. He did not even get to see him one last time.
“Tell me…. Park Yoochun… Kim Junsu… why should I always deserve less compared to the both of you… when I do so much more… and try so much harder? How am I different from you two? I cannot take this lying down… I can’t…”
“Hyung…”
Junsu uttered out, finally understanding Kang-In’s reasons for all that he had done. It was not entirely his fault. It was the people around him that were partly responsible for the hatred he had.
“Don’t give me those pitiful eyes! I don’t need your sympathy! I don’t want your sympathy! I just want to get rid of you both… to get back at the people who let me down!”
Kang-In’s eyes hardened as he cocked the gun against Junsu’s head.
“Farewell, Kim Junsu…”
“NO!”
Yoochun shouted as he flung the thing he held in his hand at Kang-In. It hit Kang-In in the head and the big man fell backwards from the impact, dropping his gun towards Yoochun.
Yoochun acted out of anger as he picked up the gun and pushed himself up, ignoring the pain he was feeling in his leg. He breathed out hard as he pointed the gun at Kang-In who was lying on the floor.
“No… Yoochun! Don’t!”
Junsu scrambled towards Yoochun. He did not want Yoochun to become a murderer, neither does he want Kim Kang-In dead. The man was after all his brother.
“Yoochun, please don’t! I beg of you!”
Yoochun’s hand was shaking as he pointed the armed weapon at his father’s murderer. But he also knew the man was Junsu’s brother. He owed Junsu too much to take away his brother’s life. Yet, he could not bring himself to put down the gun once he thought about how Kang-In killed both his father and brother.
“Yoochun! Put down the gun, please! Let the police handle him… you don’t have to kill him… You cannot kill him…”
Yoochun clenched his teeth as he struggled with the turmoil in his heart. If he killed Kim Kang-In, Junsu would hate him forever. But if he did not, he did not know if he could live with himself.
Junsu was almost in tears as Yoochun still made no move to put down the gun. Kang-In was still out from the impact on his head but Junsu could see that he was coming to very soon.
“Chun… I love you…”
Yoochun’s eyes widened as he turned to face Junsu.
Junsu gave a slight smile.
“I do… I really do… I realised it when you left the hospital… I was unsure about you and Eunhyuk initially… but when I saw you leave… when you told me you did not love me… I finally figured out who I really wanted to be with. It’s you.”
Yoochun’s eyes softened.
“Despite all that you did… I found myself willing to forgive you and be with you. Please, Chun… if you pull that trigger… we can never be together. It would not matter what both of us want anymore… It would be impossible for us to be with each other. Please put the gun down. For me… for us…”
Yoochun looked once from Junsu to Kang-In. Kang-In had regained consciousness and was staring hard at Yoochun and Junsu as he held his hand on his bleeding head.
Junsu reached his hand out slowly to place it on both the weapon and Yoochun’s hand around it. Gently and slowly, Yoochun allowed Junsu to push the weapon down and away from Kang-In.
“Go mal-wo…”
Junsu whispered. Yoochun gave a slight smile.
“Kim Kang-In… you may have suffered more than both of us… but you made those decisions to hurt other people. You turned yourself into a monster… not us… You only have yourself to blame.”
“NO! NO! It’s not my fault! It’s not my fault!”
“JUNSU!”
Kang-In was too fast for the two men, who thought he was injured. Kang-In grabbed Junsu and from his back pocket, took out a knife and held it to Junsu’s neck.
“Hyung… why can’t you understand? You would not feel better after hurting us… you wouldn’t!”
“Shut up! I don’t need you to tell me what to do!”
“Let Junsu go, Kang-In…or I will shoot!”
Yoochun held up the revolver again and pointed it at Kang-In. But he knew he could jolly well hit Junsu instead.
“Ha… you just try and shoot, Park Yoochun… let’s see who you will hit!”
“No, Yoochun! Don’t hurt him, please!”
“Junsu, he wants to kill you! He doesn’t care if you’re his brother!”
“But I do… don’t hurt him… even if he kills me… don’t hurt him!”
“No… No! Kang-In, let Junsu go now!”
“Take your chance, Park Yoochun! If you have the guts, just shoot! If you don’t shoot, I will kill Kim Junsu. I’ll count to 3.”
“NO! Kim Kang-In, you bastard, let Junsu go!”
“Yoochun, don’t shoot! Don’t!”
“3…”
“LET HIM GO!”
“Don’t shoot, Yoochun! Please don’t!”
“2…”
“Hyung… stop this… please…”
“KIM KANG-IN! Let Junsu go NOW!”
“1…”
“NO!”
BANG!
***
He opened his eyes slowly but had to shut it again due to the bright lights. He forced himself to open his eyes again and this time it was better. He could hear beeping sounds and a sudden pain reminded him of his injured shoulder.
Then he caught sight of another figure sitting by his bed.
“Su…?”
Yoochun said hoarsely, his throat dry. He wondered how long he was out. More importantly, he needed to talk to Junsu.
The other man just sat, not moving, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Yoochun could not decide if it was regret, or sadness, or despair. Whatever it was, it was not good. He knew it could not be good the moment he decided to pull the trigger. He pulled it only because he knew he would hit Kang-In.
And he did.
As Yoochun tried to sit up, he noticed that Junsu was staring at him.
“Su… I…”
“Yoochun…”
Junsu’s voice was disturbingly calm. Yoochun fell silent but Junsu did not continue. The silence in the room was deafening.
“Yoochun… have you ever loved me? Or… do you love me? Was what we had real? I need to hear it from you.”
Yoochun was a little taken aback as that was not what he expected from Junsu. He licked his lips before he spoke.
“I do love you… I always have… What we had was as real as it felt… When I said all those things to you at the hospital… I thought it was the right thing to do… I thought… I’ll support your choice… I… I thought your choice was Eunhyuk… And I did not expect you to forgive me for what I caused Yunho… I…”
“Yoochun…”
Junsu cut Yoochun off again. The injured man just sat and stared at the younger man. Junsu’s eyes had lost their life. He was unshaven and he looked like he had not slept in days. Yoochun’s heart ached.
Junsu raised his head to look straight at Yoochun.
He then leaned in to kiss him.
Yoochun was shocked for a split second, but he could not describe how much Junsu’s kiss meant to him at that moment. He deepened the kiss and brought his free hand to encircle around Junsu’s back. Yoochun was almost lost in heaven as he felt the warmth in Junsu’s mouth spread into his.
But he froze when he tasted something salty.
Junsu was crying.
Yoochun pushed Junsu away gently and the other let him. True enough, Junsu’s face was smeared with tears.
“Junsu… I’m so sorry… I did not mean to…”
“Don’t apologise… I know you did what you did only to protect me… I know… Kang-In probably deserved it anyway…”
Yoochun opened his mouth but closed it again as he did not know what he could say to make things better. He knew family meant a lot to Junsu. Even if the person was Kim Kang-In.
“But… but… what I said at the warehouse… about you… about Kang-In… about us…”
Junsu finally broke into uncontrollable sobs.
Tears were starting to roll down Yoochun’s cheeks too.
He understood what Junsu was trying to say.
They could never be together now.
Never.
Yoochun reached over to pull Junsu into his arms. Even if it was the last time, Yoochun still wanted to feel Junsu in his arms. He needed to feel it… for the last time.
Junsu leaned in weakly, needing to feel the same thing because he knew he would not be able to get himself to feel it again.
Both men sobbed in despair as they stayed in each other’s arms.
“Let me go now, Yoochun… or I will lose myself… I will… I’ve lost everything… I’m going to lose you… I cannot afford to lose myself too…”
When long enough had past, Junsu whispered in between sobs into Yoochun’s ears, desperation in his voice.
Yoochun closed his eyes, causing more tears to escape. He bit his lips as he forced himself to let go. It was the only thing he could do for Junsu now.
Junsu sniffed as he wiped his tears away though fresh ones were still threatening to fall. He swallowed as he looked at Yoochun lovingly, but in a way that meant farewell.
“Take care of yourself, Yoochun… Thank you for everything… Thank you for loving me… and showing me how to trust again… I’ll always remember you.”
Yoochun was trying his best to hold back his tears but it only made him cry more.
Junsu looked up briefly to stop his tears from spilling before he stood up from the chair. Giving Yoochun one last look, he forced a smile before he turned to walk away.
Yoochun stopped himself from yelling for Junsu. He had to let him go. There was no way they could be together now. Was there really no way?
“Junsu! Do we really have to end this way? Is there really no other way?”
Yoochun could not control himself and just had to give one last try.
Junsu stopped in his tracks. He turned around slowly with red puffy eyes.
“Until the day I am not Kim Junsu… and you are not Park Yoochun… we can never be together…”
Both men looked intensely at each other.
Junsu broke the silence.
“Perhaps we really shouldn’t have started… we really shouldn’t have met… but… I don’t regret it at all… However… I’m afraid this is how it has to end…”
Yoochun’s lips were quivering as tears spilt from his eyes.
“Farewell, Kim Junsu… I’ll always remember you too.”
One tear rolled down Junsu’s cheek as he smiled and closed the door to the ward behind him.